To ask Dh’s boss to fund private school for our Dd school

[Justallabitblahreally]

Hear me out, feeling a bit desperate, so maybe not thinking straight about it

We live abroad, Dd has been ill for a while and whilst being bright, she’s had to miss a lot of school and I feel it’s too much of a struggle for her now in her local school, even though she is fluent in the local language.
There are various fee paying International schools nearby, which I feel she’d be so much happier at and they would provide much more support.
They don’t cost as much as in the uk, but it’s still out of our price range.
Dh works really hard for a good wage for where we live, but the wages are very low compared to many other countries.
Dh is an essential member of the team and they really need him as can’t find workers of his level in the area, they’ve told him this and are keen to keep him.
The main shareholder in the company he works for is an extremely wealthy, multimillionaire and a thoroughly nice guy. One of his Dd’s has had similar issues to our Dd and he’s offered to get us appointments (him paying) with various specialists in America, luckily Dd is improving and should be ok 🙏
I was reading about how many companies recruit from abroad to bring skilled workers to their workplace. They sometimes provide them with an apartment or with school places at a nearby International school as part of the package. We own our home and his wage, although its considered good for where we are, isn’t comparable to the work he puts in.

I feel like it’s crunch time, Dd needs an English speaking school and style of teaching. If we can’t have her in a school like that, I believe we should return to the uk.

Would it be crazy to propose this idea to the boss, that as part of his working contract it provides schooling for Dd? We would of course explain the reasons why and that we would have to return to the uk

It’s very difficult to say when this could be anywhere in the world. It’s definitely not Portugal then though, private day schools are quite common.

Whatever it is I hope you get it sorted, but I would think time and time again before putting my kid back in the UK system, even if the workload here is very light.

does fh boss pay private medical insurance? If he does, that is a real help. If he doesn't better to ask for that, which would cover the whole family.

Never turn down private medical insurance.

I think the better approach would be for your DH to explain the situation to his boss, say that as a result of this you’re considering your options, which may have to include relocating somewhere with appropriate schooling for your daughter which you can afford. The alternative would be for him to receive a pay rise which would enable him to send DD to this international school which costs X.

Pricate education is a choice and for most, a luxury. Most people have to make some sort of sacrifice to afford it. His boss may not agree to meet the full cost but might agree to a pay rise which would cover some of it. I think you need to be flexible in considering the options rather than just expecting the boss to foot the bill.

@Justallabitblahreally

I work in China for a very large local company where the founder is the main shareholder. My first contract was for 5 years with just the basic terms you would expect; insurance, some flights home and a salary. By the end of that contract DS had come along and during renegotiation I asked for international school fees to be included. The boss agreed and DS will be starting international primary school in September.

It is definitely worth asking, especially if your DH is doing a good job and valued.

ETA I hope your daughter continues to get better

I had family that moved with their child to the Middle East. One of the parents was a teacher, the other worked for a large firm.

Their child was put into the local international school and after 2 years they realised they had to return to the UK as the school was about 2 years behind where the child actually was schooling wise. The realised the child would suffered academically if they didn’t return.

So the international schools aren’t the be all and end all.

What's the worst that cam happen. Give it a go.

OP I’m an expat who put DC through the International school system in multiple Countries. You are not in any way in the wrong to ask for these fees to be paid. From what I have seen, the majority of expat families are on the larger side with 3 or 4 DC, you are just asking for one set of fees. As school fee costs rise with age and inflation it’s better to ask for the fees themselves to be paid with a young child.
I would agree that not all International schools are good, you need to visit them all and really look at everything, including the actual composition of the year group your DC would potentially be in and the qualifications of the teachers from their biogs plus the class timetable and lunch rotas and clubs offered. After school activities and school buses are often eye watering expensive as they contract them out. Have all this knowledge to hand before you ask.
As many companies are struggling financially right now, it’s becoming more prevalent to be offered a percentage of fees, typically 50-80%.
You know the company concerned better than we can, but I personally would think a face to face meeting would be more productive.
By the way, of course you are expats, you just haven’t yet been given a full expat renumeration package.
Be super prepared, then good luck.

My organization would not consider them "expats" (though that's not actually a term - we call them "international hires"). They were not recruited internationally, and the role may not even qualify for international hire, we don't know (and, of course, his company may not have such classifications. Citizenship doesn't define international hires - recognized place of residence does.

So, there is no "of course" about it.

This is very likely due to children starting school at too young an age in the UK rather than the Int. school being poor.

@Firethehorse they aren’t expats though. They already lived in the country when he got the job so it’s a local hire, the same as his local colleagues. I don’t think they can pay one employee’s child’s school fees and not the other’s who are on local contracts so all he can do is ask for a pay rise.

It’s quite a risky move, might be awkward if the answer is no. I agree with one of the first posts - maybe asking for a pay rise is a better idea? Especially if he is really needed.

Another worry would be if he ever lost his job or for whatever reason had to leave, it would also mean your child may be forced to leave the school, however I understand that could be the case regardless of what position he would be in!