To ask Dh’s boss to fund private school for our Dd school

[Justallabitblahreally]

Hear me out, feeling a bit desperate, so maybe not thinking straight about it

We live abroad, Dd has been ill for a while and whilst being bright, she’s had to miss a lot of school and I feel it’s too much of a struggle for her now in her local school, even though she is fluent in the local language.
There are various fee paying International schools nearby, which I feel she’d be so much happier at and they would provide much more support.
They don’t cost as much as in the uk, but it’s still out of our price range.
Dh works really hard for a good wage for where we live, but the wages are very low compared to many other countries.
Dh is an essential member of the team and they really need him as can’t find workers of his level in the area, they’ve told him this and are keen to keep him.
The main shareholder in the company he works for is an extremely wealthy, multimillionaire and a thoroughly nice guy. One of his Dd’s has had similar issues to our Dd and he’s offered to get us appointments (him paying) with various specialists in America, luckily Dd is improving and should be ok 🙏
I was reading about how many companies recruit from abroad to bring skilled workers to their workplace. They sometimes provide them with an apartment or with school places at a nearby International school as part of the package. We own our home and his wage, although its considered good for where we are, isn’t comparable to the work he puts in.

I feel like it’s crunch time, Dd needs an English speaking school and style of teaching. If we can’t have her in a school like that, I believe we should return to the uk.

Would it be crazy to propose this idea to the boss, that as part of his working contract it provides schooling for Dd? We would of course explain the reasons why and that we would have to return to the uk

Given your circumstances, no, I don't think so.
Tbh, I think it would be inappropriate for your DH to ask and probably embarrassing for all involved. It's a big ask.

Don't forget that it's not just the fees you have to think about at a private school. There's likely also a hefty fee for uniforms, school books, and extracurricular activities. Even if the annual school fees were paid for, would your current income easily cover these added school related costs?

Could you look into hiring a tutor, familiar with the local school, and who is fluent in English and the local language to help your DD catch up? Plus you could look into ways of helping her adjust again to the local school? What difficulties is she having there, apart from falling behind in schoolwork?

Where I worked, local hires who came from another country had to make a lot of adjustments to get their finances make sense for them in new country.

A lot of times when employees were asking for school fees, or rent paid, the local manager would suggest moving to more affordable area or cutting back on travel.

Be prepared for any response from wealthy boss - he might think: Sure, you could afford school fees if you lived more modestly. Or, might say yes - happily pay.

Before you ask, are there ways you could change your spending to afford the school?

I would add that some international schools are basically private enterprise and run as a business rather than an educational establishment. In my experience.

A lot of the responses you've had on here are conjecture. There's only one way to find out for sure. So long as it's worded well it's worth an ask.

How much more would an international school cost per year? I feel like asking for it to be covered specifically but he could negotiate a salary increase to cover it?

I am going to take a guess that you live in Dubai or similar. I have family in Dubai and both parents work, school fees for international school are not normal as part of the compensation package unfortunately.

Both parents work in very good careers to afford international school and Nanny’s who do the before school and aftercare.

You could ask, but it would likely come at the cost of other perks like private medical insurance, free flights home etc.

Places like Dubai aren’t really set up for children with additional needs, unless you are a citizen.

You say that your DD is bright, and fluent in the local language. Also, that she's been ill for a "while".
If she's bright, she should catch up surely? Unless a "while" means a very long time?

I'm sorry, but your OP is quite vague. Therefore it's difficult to advise.

I agree with this. We are giving our own experiences to help you understand what your husband might have to consider in how he approaches this and to help you see how the company MIGHT be seeing this.

In almost all circumstances, though, I would think a judiciously asked question would not in itself be a problem.

This is so interesting to me, on Mumsnet it always seems to be about Dubai. I know people absolutely all over the world but none in Dubai. Is there any particular reason it seems to be so popular with UK citizens?

So interesting..! Where do you live? How is unhappy marriages part of it? Are you saying the teachers are fucked up? Why?

If something goes pear shaped at dh work your daughter will be chucked out of school

A private school is a private enterprise, a business, I would expect a good school to be well run financially. A school has employees, facilities, bills to pay and clients. If it’s well run, it could make a profit. Why is that a problem?

Not sure how that is different from an “educational establishment”

Tax free, good compensation - if you have a good career you get paid better than London rates and get to keep most of your money. It is also low crime, you live in gorgeous gated communities with pools and only interact with brits or people who can speak English. Dubai has been literally bee hand made to attract certain talents - it’s a curated city.

its not for me, I have visited my family but I could never call it home - it’s like a new build estate on many many steroids lol

Higher salaries and attractive taxation.

I don’t like the style of teaching where we are, the classes are large, less support available. Before Dd was ill, I wasn’t 100 percent happy with it, but she coped ok and thankfully picked up the language and so on. Now, she’s v unhappy there and it’s just not the right system for her.
It’s this or go home for me as it’s the most important thing

7, there’s only homeschooling really, but not a huge community. She’s very sociable and enjoys learning, a small, supportive place would be perfect for her, it would make such a difference

So your husband was hired on local terms. Renegotiating his contract will be difficult. Easier to ask for a pay rise and explain your looking at sending your daughter to a fee paying school.

All school books etc are included, uniforms and little extras we could afford, it’s just the fees itself every month

The impression I got from two people I know who worked there was that they were able to make much more money there at that stage of their careers than they would have done in the UK.

One of them was female and in cosmetics marketing, the other was male and in engineering/construction.

My understanding from what they said was that they did really well even though they had no grasp of Arabic, English being widely spoken.

They both enjoyed the lifestyles they had there as young professional expats in Dubai, they are both very gregarious and enjoyed the social side.

Not at the moment sadly, the cost of everything has gone up so much

I guess again it comes down to personal experience of international private schools. I've worked in some excellent ones and have worked in / had friends who worked in some truly awful ones which were run either just to make money or as a hobby.

Around 9,500, its a lot, probably a ridiculous idea, clutching at straws I think!

@Justallabitblahreally

I was wondering whether boarding in the UK was an option you could follow up.

Does she need specialised medical care?

Have you seen "Happy Velley"? 😬

Are you in Spain OP?

I know you seem determined not to name the country for some reason but there are options that fall between private and state. I was wondering if these could be an option to you?