MIL taking over Mother’s Day

[Pinkhat123]

This Is my first year as a mom of 3 and I was quite looking forward to spending some time with my DH and DC on Mother’s Day and do something special together like go for a meal, go for a nature walk etc (nothing OTT). I was also looking forward to my first lie in (realistically til 8am/9am) and a cup of tea in bed which I was promised.

However my DH just updated me that he is going to invite his mum and step dad for lunch out on Mother’s Day. Whilst I usually have no issue with this I can’t help but feel sad that “my” day is going to be completely over shadowed by the MIL and she it will be all about grandmothers! Therefore I won’t get a simple lie in (which I so desperately need) or a cup of tea as the MIL will arrive at 9/10am after a 3hr journey. She will make it all
about her own while I’m running around feeding them
and entertaining them etc. I feel she already had her time with her DC, this is my time now.

I’ll add last year she made a complete drama that she didn’t receive any gifts on Mother’s Day from her grandchildren or DC…. At 1pm the delivery man arrived with a bunch of flowers we had already planned for her.

And another note, my eldest had surgery today. (MIL is never is part of any childcare plan, she comes to our house whenever it suits her like every 2-3 months.) And on the phone MIL wants to come now, i blurted out “no thanks I need to keep DS infection free and away from people”. She looked at me in such an evil way like he’s her child she will do what she wants.

Before people ask- yes I know I can just ask my DH to cancel or not invite her but this will cause a load of agro and im just seeking an opinion as to whether I should stick to my guns-
its Mother’s Day not grandmothers day! DH thinks I’m being unreasonable.

AIBU- to be craving just a little me time and time alone with my own 3 children for the first time.

YABU- you should suck it up and it’s a day for her too.

YANBU...but why would she arrive at 9/10am for lunch?

I would let your other half do all the running around/cooking/ making endless cuppas
It's your day, not spoilt mother in laws.

I mean, a better option would be to say no to the whole thing, but if PIL do come, yes, OP should not lift a finger. Go out for a massage in the morning and float back in just as lunch is being served.

Meet them at the restaurant, have them back for cake afterwards. You get your morning to do stuff with your family unit.

I couldn't work out how to vote but as someone else put on another thread, it's Mother's day. If your DH wants to spend time with his mother, he can. You will be spending time with your children.
If you have to spend time with her then give her a window that she has to stick to so you still get your lie in.

Your h is being unreasonable. Why are you running around feeding them etc? He should be doing all that as it’s his mum and you should come down like at 10am after you’ve drunk the cuppa that he’s brought up for you and had a leisurely shower. If you don’t want to tell him to cancel then tell him that you’re not getting up and ready until after 10 and he will be running around making teas etc

“sorry DH that doesn’t work for me. Can you rearrange with your mother for another weekend. Thanks.”

Will your children stay in bed til 8am? Book a hotel and leave the man entertain his own mother.

This. If anything is said, be ready with 'It's my day off! DH will look after you'. Have your lie in, tell him it'll give him quality time with his mum 😀

Just to clarify, @Pinkhat123, have you actually told your husband that you don't want him to do this?

Hmm, yes, spending the day looking after three children solo, what a wonderful reward for the other 364 days a year she spends mothering.

If DH won’t cancel just remind him of this…

I was also looking forward to my first lie in (realistically til 8am/9am) and a cup of tea in bed which I was promised.

and let him know you won’t be rushing up. Could DH ask his parents to meet you at restaurant for lunch and then maybe have them back for coffee or something before they drive home? Or pick a different day?

I haven’t really said anything yet. He has booked the restaurant and said we can adjust the numbers if needed. But he’s implying more that his MIL will come especially as she wants to see my DD after surgery this week. It feels like it’s all about her needs, I’m just pushed aside.

As long as your DH is shopping and cooking l would let it go. You can stay in bed as long as you like, in fact l would stay there all day, say you are ill.

I could do, but they live 3 hrs away so they wouldn’t come up for just a few hours. They like to make the most of the day up here or else….. stay over!!!!!

DH cooking would be the first… all he can cook is dippy eggs! ( and I hate eggs!!)

You can still have your lie in.

So tell him no, it's your Mother's Day too and you don't want to spend it hosting his parents.

He sounds like a catch...

Oh god I’d rather they come early morning then go home than stay over haha.

Just use your words.

I'd say ''You can take MIL out for a meal, but i don't fancy coming, i'll spend the day with my kids''.

I know people are saying it's not relaxing having them on your own ect, but mothers day isn't about getting away from your kids .... you can arrange that another day.

Have you your own mum, OP?

He can make a cup of tea though, surely? Plus do drinks for his mum and open some biscuits for them while you enjoy your lie in. That should be doable for anyone.

I hear you OP. I would laugh at him and tell him how busy he is going to be running around after two women on Mother’s Day - be clear you are not lifting finger all day, this may sway things

Good idea! He’ll understand how much I do then! Lol