Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

[DontGoChasinWaterfalls]

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

Who the hell leaves a bathroom in that state.

I mean in the same situation I wouldn’t ask for someone else. But I guess the point is that some of you his behaviours made you uncomfortable. So if you feel strongly you don’t want to see him again then ask. I wouldn’t expect the next person to be on time though.

So one tradesperson leaving skids in your bowl once is justification for refusing a basic level of dignity and respect to all visitors to your house for all time? Bloody mental.

Do these people also object to family and friends using their loos, or is it just the sheer temerity of a manual worker thinking they are good enough to shit in the same place as them that offends them?

It's no different (worse maybe) to Lords and Ladies of the past insisting that their servants turn and face the wall and pretend not to exist anytime their 'superiors' entered a room.

Madness.

Exactly this.
Perhaps if people are so aggrieved by tradesmen using their facilities for the sole purpose they were designed for then maybe they should do their own home improvements.

This thread is weird, why is everyone falling over themselves to defend a dirty man who appears to have no manners or knowledge of basic toilet etiquette. Of course ring up and say you want a different engineer and give your feedbaxk

This sounds very weird.
How do you know he rooted through the wardrobe?
Everything except that sounds reasonable, he needed the toilet, he huffed a bit when putting on shoe covers, he accidently jammed a lock.. this is hardly the actions of a phsychopath.
The rooting through your wardrobe though, did he root through or was the loo paper visible and he disnt want to scream down stairs.. 'I need a bog roll as you havent left any and I have done a massive shit'

It doesnt sound like an ideal encounter but you don't know if he has bowel issues, maybe he cant help when he has to go to to the loo??

I would request another engineer if you are unhappy with him and think if he did in fact root through the wardrobe, or if he grabbed some bog roll that was visible to save embarressment.

There’s your answer!

No good ever came from avoiding the loo brush. You reap what you sow.

I have a 6 year old. She sits on the floor, crawls on her hands and knees, bum shuffles, rolls around on the floor, does roly polys, cartwheels... etc etc etc..

The poor bloke probably has some kind of medical condition. people are going to have to get a lot more tolerant of this over the next few years

Why do you keep your loo roll in the wardrobe? Isn't there any in the actual toilet?
As for the shoe cover thing, you're making a mountain out of a molehill. You have a hoover, presumably?
I find it hard to believe so many tradesmen decide to open their bowels in a customer's house, and fail to clean up after themselves. Is it a Mumsnet thing?

I would definitely call and complain…I would not normally do that but he needs to understand boundaries. Virgin engineers always come with shoe covers and most are very good in my experience.

I think its just basic common decency. Yes, fine if you have to metaphorically destroy the bathroom but don't actually physically destroy the bathroom.

Violated ? No, you haven't been violated, 🙄

It’s weird but I think slightly exaggerated since Open reach do not give timed appts, it’s am or pm.

I mean fair enough for you to feel how you feel but it wouldn’t upset me that much. I assume he just saw the toilet paper and didn’t think it was a problem. He shouldn’t have left a mess though.

Request someone new and try to put it behind you.

It was an 8am to 1.00pm timed slot. He arrived at 1.36pm. Then proceeds to tell me another colleague is needed but basically if it's after 2pm to basically forget it.

THIS. ^ You're not over-reacting @DontGoChasinWaterfalls How fucking dare he just invite himself upstairs, then root about in your bedroom for loo rolls?

And it is quite common for men to spend ages in the loo (fuck knows why!) but for a tradesman to spend 20 minutes in a customer's bathroom, that's taking the fucking piss. Report him. First thing tomorrow. (Moreso for the entering your bedroom and rifling through the wardrobe. God knows what else he mooched through!) 😱

I know it's laughed at and mocked on here, but this one bloke/tradie came to fix a handle on one of our windows once - a half hour job max, and half way through it, he said 'can I use the loo?' (Downstairs one.) We said 'yes.' He was in there 10 minutes, and he had a shit, and it smelt like a fucking elephant house in there when he came out. I felt so sick as the smell wandered through the house. He didn't bat an eyelid and carried on the job. I had to go into the garden for the rest of the time he was in the house. (Another 20-25 minutes.) DH stayed in but kept popping out, with a face like this >>> 😖

We put 4 incense sticks on when he left, sprayed air freshener in every room, opened every window, and flushed the loo 7 or 8 times, and put bleach in the loo, as there was shit stains in the bottom. 😖 Fucking disgusting bastard. There was a pub 5 minutes walk away, and public loos 10 minutes walk away, but no, he had to drop his stinky load in our loo.

I have lots of visitors to my house due to my dh being disabled, carers, support workers etc and lots of them ask to use the toilet. I don't mind at all but not one of them has ever left it in a mess and not one of them has ever run upstairs looking for the toilet, they've just asked and I've shown them into the downstairs loo. I would be furious if a man had run upstairs whilst I was upstairs, I would have felt frightened. He should have shouted from the bottom of the stairs and waited for you to show him where the toilet was. As for rooting through your wardrobe that's terrible. I'd definitely phone BT and say you don't want that engineer to visit your house ever again.

Someone took a dump in your toilet.

It's hardly the end of the world.

How did he 'physically' destroy the bathroom?

I am not defending him - just wouldn’t feel ‘violated’. We’re all different though

Time to get a loo brush

@DontGoChasinWaterfalls Then he should have phoned to say he was going to be late, however, if he had turned up a few minutes before 1pm and the job was going to take a few hours you would have still been hanging around.

Ewwwwww that’s disgusting. I would absolutely not be letting him back in my house tomorrow!

It doesn't sounds like you cope well with workmen being in your home, to be honest, OP. I have never heard of anyone keeping blue shoe coverings for such an occasion.

The poor guy was clearly unwell. You feeling 'upset' over the fact that he needed to use the loo urgently is very OTT.

Are you certain that he entered your bedroom and went into your wardrobe?