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AIBU?

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Original poster

Feeling very uncomfortable and almost violated after visit today by BT Engineer

718 replies

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 25/03/2025 16:10

I need a sense check and to realise I'm not overreacting.
BT engineer came today to upgrade my service to fibre optic broadband. He was late first of all which could've been accepted if he acknowledged he was late and apologised. He stepped into my house with his work boots on and I asked if he would mind wearing shoe covers as I have grey carpets. I'd never ask workmen to take shoes off and I provide the blue shoe coverings. He huffed and said he has to go in and out my house. Immediately I felt uncomfortable but explained I have a small child who sits and crawls on the carpet. He reluctantly agreed.
He somehow managed to jam the lock on my porch door by trying to leave it on the latch. After 15 minutes I managed to release it. He then tells me he needs a colleague to come to do something outside with the plyons and phrased it as "if it's after 2pm they won't bother coming". He eventually starts work after 40 minutes after faffing and I go upstairs to do some work.
5 minutes later I hear a panicked call asking if he could use my bathroom. Before I could say anything he was half way up the stairs. I froze and he directed himself to the bathroom. He was in there for 20 minutes and I was now downstairs feeling quite upset. Eventually he comes downstairs and doesn't say anything. I went upstairs to survey the damage and it was horrendous to say the least. To make things worse he rooted through my wardrobe to find the toilet paper.
I feel disgusted and sick..but feel like I'm overreacting as I don't know if he was unwell or has a medical condition.
He's got to come back tomorrow and I don't want him here.
aibu to call OpenReach to request another engineer???

OP posts:
user9632579 · 01/04/2025 04:40

TheGentleOpalMember · 01/04/2025 04:01

And what if it's a plumber you have round? He'll say 'what's wrong with it, let me have a look and fix it'. After all, he's a plumber. So.....then what?

Show quote history

I'd tell the plumber he couldn't use it. He'd be in the bathroom so I'd have no need for the sign and to lock the door obviously.

Pippyls67 · 01/04/2025 05:59

CroissantOfFur · 31/03/2025 23:56

What I don't get is why this dude didn't ask for loo paper? Isn't that what any normal adult would have done ? @Pippyls67 IBS never stopped anyone from being an adult and using their words.

Depends if he’s used to getting grief from people about needing unusually large amount of loo paper. It’s a condition sufferers can be very sensitive about if they’ve already had to put up with years of shaming over it. Mightn’t have been able to face having to explain it.

Tandora · 01/04/2025 09:06

TheGentleOpalMember · 01/04/2025 04:19

Sex. Not gender. Wink

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.

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 09:27

Pippyls67 · 01/04/2025 05:59

Depends if he’s used to getting grief from people about needing unusually large amount of loo paper. It’s a condition sufferers can be very sensitive about if they’ve already had to put up with years of shaming over it. Mightn’t have been able to face having to explain it.

Show quote history

Why have we built up this picture of a crippling case of ibs and now a mortification hang up about his toilet tissue consumption.

If it was all causing him such trauma, surely he’d carry his own roll and make sure he left the loo as unafflicted as possible.

All total reach.

My money is on a total lack of disrespect, given his other attitudes. He just thought “I’ll need that” so grabbed it from her room without a single thought for op’s privacy. Then he dumped and thought “ I’m done now.” So left it dirty and stinking. Surprised he even flushed actually.

user9632579 · 01/04/2025 10:14

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 09:27

Why have we built up this picture of a crippling case of ibs and now a mortification hang up about his toilet tissue consumption.

If it was all causing him such trauma, surely he’d carry his own roll and make sure he left the loo as unafflicted as possible.

All total reach.

My money is on a total lack of disrespect, given his other attitudes. He just thought “I’ll need that” so grabbed it from her room without a single thought for op’s privacy. Then he dumped and thought “ I’m done now.” So left it dirty and stinking. Surprised he even flushed actually.

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This is a good point and is humorous that certain posters can invent a crippling medical condition but can't imagine any events that would lead up to OP, others and I not allowing workspeople to use our toilets.

He wasn't so embarrassed that he left the bathroom in a state?!

Pippyls67 · 01/04/2025 11:21

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 09:27

Why have we built up this picture of a crippling case of ibs and now a mortification hang up about his toilet tissue consumption.

If it was all causing him such trauma, surely he’d carry his own roll and make sure he left the loo as unafflicted as possible.

All total reach.

My money is on a total lack of disrespect, given his other attitudes. He just thought “I’ll need that” so grabbed it from her room without a single thought for op’s privacy. Then he dumped and thought “ I’m done now.” So left it dirty and stinking. Surprised he even flushed actually.

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Maybe you’re just a cynic though? Perfectly entitled to be of course. Free country.

Calliopespa · 01/04/2025 11:33

Pippyls67 · 01/04/2025 11:21

Maybe you’re just a cynic though? Perfectly entitled to be of course. Free country.

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Well I see it more as just not projecting or making things up. If he said to op “ I’m really sorry but do you mind if I use your loo as I suffer from ibs” I might have pause for thought. Even if he’d said nothing, snuck the tissue and then been at pains the room nice and fresh for op then I might be more inclined to think he was struggling to contain a problem. But he had given no indication whatsoever that he’s thoughtful and every indication that he isn’t. There’s a point at which things are less cynicism and more joining the dots.

I think the problem on this thread has been that some people who very genuinely suffer from ibs have worried how they would cope if they were a workman in his situation and have projected their own health issues onto a different person’s situation. But there isn’t any good evidence that he is a sufferer.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 01/04/2025 12:50

Rivertrudge · 25/03/2025 17:04

If he had a sudden attack of diarrhoea and there wasn’t enough loo paper out, what would you have liked him to do?

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But he didn't.
There was ample amount of toilet paper, it's been confirmed many times over the four pages you've not read 🙄

derxa · 01/04/2025 12:55

user9632579 · 01/04/2025 04:40

I'd tell the plumber he couldn't use it. He'd be in the bathroom so I'd have no need for the sign and to lock the door obviously.

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🤣🤣

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 01/04/2025 13:00

I was intrigued by the title and ended up reading four pages and I can't read anymore without saying something.

Do people really not have the time to read a page or two, or click on the OP 'see all' just to get a gist of the bigger picture of the situation?
The same fucking comments/questions that have been answered/commented on, numerous times..... And still belittling and questioning the OP for feeling 'violated' all the way to page 29.

If you're not going to read more than the OP, don't fucking comment because it's probably going to be a twat of a comment.

Rivertrudge · 01/04/2025 14:43

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 01/04/2025 12:50

But he didn't.
There was ample amount of toilet paper, it's been confirmed many times over the four pages you've not read 🙄

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You’re wrong, I have read them.

He had seen the spare paper in the open wardrobe so presumably assumed that’s where OP kept it, rather than go rooting through her bathroom cupboards.

As for possible digestive problems or the state of his excreta - well, neither of us can know and I don’t really want to!

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 01/04/2025 18:31

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 25/03/2025 16:32

There was sufficient toilet paper in the bathroom. I imagine he took a large wadge and filled up the toilet so he couldn't be heard. There was a bathroom cabinet right in front of him.. I can only fathom he went into the wardrobe as he would've seen it when passing my bedroom to go to the bathroom (adjacent to each other) he left the window wide open but still a horrendous smell, there was marks in the toilet bowl, the bathroom mats were crumpled up as he didn't bother straightening them up after finishing, water all over the floor and sink, towel crumpled up, air freshener knocked over. He's also very young so no doubt probably still lives at home and doesn't know how to tidy up after himself but just an assumption.

@Rivertrudge

Et voilà.

user9632579 · 01/04/2025 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

H

GPTec1 · 01/04/2025 18:42

35 years working in telecoms and not once have i ever used a clients loo for a dump.... in fact i wouldn't dream of it.... find a supermarket or a pub!

But now a days, Open Reach or whoever the company you thought you had an engineer from, even if ID said OpenReach or Talk Talk etc, could easily be a contractor, issued with "White" Badge ID.

Personally, i'd be demanding another engineer and putting in a complaint, though be prepared for a delay in your broadband install.

user9632579 · 01/04/2025 19:01

GPTec1 · 01/04/2025 18:42

35 years working in telecoms and not once have i ever used a clients loo for a dump.... in fact i wouldn't dream of it.... find a supermarket or a pub!

But now a days, Open Reach or whoever the company you thought you had an engineer from, even if ID said OpenReach or Talk Talk etc, could easily be a contractor, issued with "White" Badge ID.

Personally, i'd be demanding another engineer and putting in a complaint, though be prepared for a delay in your broadband install.

I am so glad you've said this!

Kudos to you and 35 years on the job!

GhostHunterPlay · 01/04/2025 21:18

To all the posters who say OP is being unreasonable. I'd feel like my personal space was violated if a tradesman arrived late without apologising, spoke rudely to me, went upstairs without asking, made a mess in my bathroom and didn't clean it up, then entered my bedroom without permission and rummage in my wardrobe "looking for toilet paper"! I'd be telling him to leave (after getting his name and employee number, of course). Then I'd phone his workplace, ask to speak to his boss and explain the behaviour of the employee. Once he'd entered your home without explaining why he was late, he was trespassing. You were within your rights to refuse entry to him, and to phone and request another engineer.

WheresWeirdo · 01/04/2025 21:34

Pippyls67 · 01/04/2025 05:59

Depends if he’s used to getting grief from people about needing unusually large amount of loo paper. It’s a condition sufferers can be very sensitive about if they’ve already had to put up with years of shaming over it. Mightn’t have been able to face having to explain it.

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He wouldn't need an unusually large amount of loo paper. He would only need to make sure he did all his business and then use a standard size amount . Unless he has an enormous arsehole? Where all these tradespersons with giant Moon -crater sized arseholes?

JenniferBooth · 02/04/2025 16:37

WheresWeirdo · 01/04/2025 21:34

He wouldn't need an unusually large amount of loo paper. He would only need to make sure he did all his business and then use a standard size amount . Unless he has an enormous arsehole? Where all these tradespersons with giant Moon -crater sized arseholes?

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If i came round to yours and sat bare arsed on your sofa after using the standard size amount of dry toilet paper your sofa would be ruined.
IBS and other bowel issues means it can be really messy. Its got nothing to do with arse size

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