Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

[loveyoutothestars]

My 8year old daughter has been attending the same dance class since she was 5. The teacher is lovely, but she is the only adult in the room (she does have a teenage helper). Since the tragic events at a holiday club in summer last year, I have been growing more anxious at the lack of security at the dance class.

The class is held in a local village club, where there are a few small social rooms and a bar. It is very open and people come and go quite easily. The children enter through an unlocked door and exit through the fire exit, although with the warmer weather returning I noticed she has taken to propping the fire exit door open throughout the class which makes me very uneasy.

Parents drop off and pick up for the session, although occasionally I will hang around outside because of my nervousness.

I don’t know how to approach the teacher with my concerns as don’t want to be seen as an overly anxious mother, but events in the news terrify me and it feels like she hasn’t considered how vulnerable the class could be. It is worth mentioning that 5 mins away there is a Psychiatric hospital and we often see patients out and about in the community, although not always appearing well. Although I’m not suggesting this is my only concern, I do worry how open and vulnerable the class appears.

AIBU to raise this concern with the teacher? There isn’t usually time for any interaction between classes so communication is via email.

Appreciate your thoughts on how to approach, but please be kind this is my first post.

I was just about to say the set up you describe for the dance sounds the same as at the village scout hut and then saw this. In our village the brownies, etc the door is not locked so anyone could walk in. The dance classes aren't locked.

Its just common sense isn't it to lock doors. The chances of anyone murdering us in our beds is slim but I'm sure we all lock our doors on a night.

If the op was asking for a police guard I'd understand the reactions, all she is suggesting is there are risks and to lock a door once everyone is in would seem a good idea.

If you want to moderate how people respond to your post and what people discuss on it then no, this isn’t the website for you.

@YesHonestly you would think so and it sounds v jobsworth, but I expect it covers all eventualities and considers the fire being outside the building too. In which case it is there to stop smoke and flames coming into the building.

Also propping it could create a trip hazard if people need to exit the fire door in an actual fire, where they are likely to be panicking and more likely to trip or fall.

Our kids dance school upped the security as a response, if there is only one teacher in the studio entry is via a buzzer system, when. More are present it is as it always was with a closed but unlocked door

Me too.

While I agree with your sentiment, it’s not really comparable.

If someone wanted to harm children in a public swimming pool they would have to walk through reception, with more than one staff member and an assistant, and have to content with multiple adult members of the public. It isn’t the same as walking into a hall with no reception desk, no staff, and only one adult and a teenage volunteer.

Well you may have posted on the wrong board because when you post on AIBU people think you want to know if you're coming across unreasonable and will tell you.

I think your concern is disproportionate but I get where it comes from
however as a mum of a teen DD, I’d say you need to work on tolerating uncertainty,
you will need to manage her going to shop alone, out with friends, visiting kids houses when u don’t know the family,
going shopping, cinema with pals, parties and all the things that can happen there …
you’ve got a lot of things to be anxious about and to risk assess ahead of you, so best work on that proportionate response !

I completely understand why you're anxious about it but I don't think there's a lot that can be done, some of these buildings have to have access to the public for various reasons. I'd hazard a guess that they're more at risk walking down a busy high street.

Ahh, I didn’t consider that!

I think you are being ridiculous, sorry. For toddlers, yes, a concern. My 6 year old goes to similar classes in the village hall, and gasp, his Beavers troop meets outside in high moorland and in woods to do activities when it’s not winter. I see no need to have them locked in or anyone else locked out. He is 6 and he knows not to run out the door. Obviously, different if children with SEN who may be prone to bolting, but they would need additional support in place and special protocols to keep them safe.

Thank you for explaining. I think I was looking to see what the general Consensus was - not to be accused of having out of control anxiety or lists of numerous other ways my child could be hurt.

it seems to go off topic very quickly and not sure everyone reads the original post properly!

I’ve name changed for this. I have been in a scenario similar to the Stockport scenario, however the armed people weren’t there to kill the children who were present

the biggest issue was escaping because the doors (including fire doors) were locked. Just be careful before suggesting things like this.

I get it. Ask her for her risk assessment.

We had to redo all ours after Southport just as schools had to think about these things after Dunblane

Excellent answer.

Southport was a one off. Thousands of classes and activities go on all day every day all over the country and it’s fine. That’s like saying crazy people drive cars through crowds so perhaps keep children at home at all times! You’re being completely unreasonable and overthinking things to the point of making yourself anxious.

I agree with this.

I understand your worry but it's disproportionate.

Ridiculous! Thank you!

Your suggestion that everyone who disagrees with you clearly doesn’t have children is frankly fucking insulting OP.

Kindly....you need to work on your anxiety levels

No one is suggesting doors are bolted and a padlock insitu that no one can open quickly.

These days there tends to be a quick exit button that one presses.

Nice language!

That's not the set up at our pool, there's two entrances and if you come through the back you can get through to the viewing gallery very easily without passing reception, then it's just a case of opening the gate between the gallery and the pool and walking in.

And the big pool is open at the same time as the kids lessons are taking place in the small pool, so any member of the public could pay an entrance fee and walk straight through the changing rooms and into the pool.

The chances of it happening are slim to zero because (thankfully) the number of people who want to randomly hurt children is very, very small and you'd hope that usually they are identified and dealt with before they actually do it.

The time to prevent the Southport attacks was years before when it became clear that Axel Rudubukana had several screws loose, not on the door of the dance studio. Even if he hadn't got in to that class, he'd have found a way to kill children.

You are definitely very new round here aren’t you. Bless you.