Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

[loveyoutothestars]

My 8year old daughter has been attending the same dance class since she was 5. The teacher is lovely, but she is the only adult in the room (she does have a teenage helper). Since the tragic events at a holiday club in summer last year, I have been growing more anxious at the lack of security at the dance class.

The class is held in a local village club, where there are a few small social rooms and a bar. It is very open and people come and go quite easily. The children enter through an unlocked door and exit through the fire exit, although with the warmer weather returning I noticed she has taken to propping the fire exit door open throughout the class which makes me very uneasy.

Parents drop off and pick up for the session, although occasionally I will hang around outside because of my nervousness.

I don’t know how to approach the teacher with my concerns as don’t want to be seen as an overly anxious mother, but events in the news terrify me and it feels like she hasn’t considered how vulnerable the class could be. It is worth mentioning that 5 mins away there is a Psychiatric hospital and we often see patients out and about in the community, although not always appearing well. Although I’m not suggesting this is my only concern, I do worry how open and vulnerable the class appears.

AIBU to raise this concern with the teacher? There isn’t usually time for any interaction between classes so communication is via email.

Appreciate your thoughts on how to approach, but please be kind this is my first post.

I assume OP meant a fire exit door to outdoors, in which case propping it open doesn't make it ineffective at all.

School shootings like Dunblane are a one in a million chance too but gone are the days when anyone can wander into a school.

Surely just an intercom door system would be common sense? I'd ask the teacher to please keep doors closed at the least.

Thanks for your contribution but I think you have misunderstood as I’m not suggesting a bouncer or security person - just a locked door or closed fire exit.

Your child is more at risk walking along the street than in a dance class.

Our local council has asked us (the local village hall associations) to consider how users of the hall rooms can secure the doors in an emergency, This is in direct response to the Southport attack.

All of our rooms have now been fitted with bolt locks that allow those in the room to lock themselves in. There is a special tool that will open them from the outside but that is held close by but off-site. It is up to each hall user whether they lock themselves in or not. Most choose not to.

You could ask the owner of the venue what provision they have made.

@loveyoutothestars but risks are a balance and for every risk you solve the solution itself can become a risk.

For example locking the doors at night - great at keeping out potential burglars. Potentially causes more time to get out if there is a fire.

door shut here - keeps people out yes but again keeps those in longer in need to get out. Plus dance classes get hot - it is often pleasant to get air in

I do think your anxiety is getting the better of you, but that is something you know you need to tackle.

Our dance school does have a keypad entry, but so many people know it, it could be useless. But it only has that because it is a dedicated dance school, if it was in a Village Hall I doubt there would be anything.

On your point about school gates, that is also down to the increase in risk of parental abduction during relationship breakdowns and general safeguarding (flashers used to be rife back in my day) rather than Dunblane. The fact that that was about 30 years ago and nothing since should help you realise how rare these things are.

I can't believe the minimising on this thread.

People in cars mowing down groups of people is a rare thing but it does happen, hence bollards etc in high streets.

Sadly we have many people out there wanting to do us harm, the very least we should expect is a locked door especially where there are children present.

I Chair a Village Hall. Whilst Southport was a one off, if there are simple changes to be made then I think it might be reasonable to ask. For example the access door could be secured during a class and unlocked at the end of the session- providing the door opens from the inside (push outwards access), then this would not pose a fire risk.

"I will consider every opinion"

Except an extremely valid one about a runaway vehicle...

I take it you're just as nervous when your child is walking on a pavement, considering there's about one child fatality and forty KSIs a week in the UK.

To be fair it’s not difficult to lock a door.
I used to attend a Spiritualist church and the doors are always locked once everyone is in. Just because some people think it’s funny to run in and disturb the meeting.

There are Scouts, Brownies, Rainbows, and all sorts of other groups up and down the country that anyone could walk into. Southport was a horrific tragedy, it had never happened before and hopefully will never happen again.
I understand why you have concerns but I think you need to try and move past them.

If someone is sectioned in a psych ward they won't be 'out and about in the community' unless supervised heavily by trained staff.
I wouldn't really say that having one nearby was an elevated risk. Also I'd say it's no more a risk than any children's hobby or activity group. The fact it's a dance class doesn't make it more dangerous.

If all the parents agreed to chip in for the cost of a security guard then I guess that could work. It might be the venue design means you can't have any extra doors etc.

But ultimately what could a minimum wage guard meaningfully do if an axe murderer bursts in?

Thank you so much. I’ve found the other responses quite upsetting. Implying that I have mental health issues that I need to work on and naming all the other ways my child could be killed…. Not the helpful response I was expecting. I assume most responders don’t have children of a similar age so cannot relate

I just don’t want to offend the teacher by asking her to explain her risk assessment - but I pay a lot of money per month for the class and don’t think it’s unreasonable given the circumstances (which are also fairly local)

thanks again

I can’t think of a single place that my kids do activities in that is secure. Everywhere has an open door. Even at swimming they have members of the public swimming in a different pool, in the same area.

our schools gate is left open as well. Although they have a code on the door.

I think we just have to accept some risk. 3 children got stabbed in Dublin who were being walked by a childcare worker from their school to their afterschool facility next door. There was that playground stabbing in France. I don’t know what security would help with these random but rare attacks.

I’m really on the fence with this one because while I do think anxiety is at play here, you do have a point.

Southport was a very rare occurrence, a one off, but so was Dunblane and 9/11. Both of those events highlighted a flaw in security that was then rectified. School fences and gates, locked doors, cockpits being secured and not just a curtain etc. I do think places holding children’s events should be more secure.

Our gymnastics club implemented a locked door policy after the atrocity in Southport. It had two sets of doors, both locked and parents waited in the lobby between both to collect children after the first set of doors were unlocked. As long as there are fire escapes with doors that can’t be opened from the outside then fire safety is covered.

There are, on any given day, up and down the country, probably hundreds of thousands of kids dance, football, karate, rainbows, scouts, beavers and so many other clubs happening. In every village and church hall, all over the Uk, they all operate in this way.

And you never hear anything about them because nothing remarkable ever happens. Your anxiety makes you fixate on that one absolutely horrific event, you should fixate int he hundreds of thousands of daily classes that absolutely nothing happens in.

Propping open a fire door is illegal and could invalidate her Public Liability insurance, or that of the building owners.

No one is minimising. There are bollards in such locations because motor vehicles are everywhere, and accidents are likely. In fact, many thousands are injured and killed by vehicles every year. The same does not apply to serial killers.

Isn’t that for internal fire doors, ie the ones that hold back fire when closed, and not fire exit doors leading outside?

I do consider every opinion about what I was asking! I’m not asking for everyone’s advice on every which way my child could be hurt and how I can mitigate it! I’m asking if it is reasonable to learn lessons from the Southport incident and keep doors secure during children’s activities.

You posted on AIBU asking if it was unreasonable to want security at a kid's dance class. It is unreasonable and people have explained why.

I don't know why you would assume we don't have children. I have a 5 yo girl and I think your concerns are not reasonable at all. She goes to several extra-curricular classes and none of them have locked doors. What about swimming lessons, do you expect the whole leisure centre to be off limits to the public whilst they are taking place? You asked, and have been told by other parents that your level of concern isn't normal.

If you've already decided you're not being unreasonable and find people telling you you are upsetting, why did you ask if you were being unreasonable?

I mean women can work in security wouldn't have to be a man!

Op I agree with you on some points the place is easily accessible to anyone and I do think they have to take open doors and people walking about into consideration. The teacher/assistant ratio is probably correct.

I’ve never posted before as I said so I don’t know what the culture of these boards are but it has gone very off-topic!

the other classes my daughter attends like swimming does have a key lock for entry and so our experiences must be different.

im going to leave mumsnet alone, not sure its for me as everyone very opinionated about things that aren’t strictly what I asked about!