Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

[loveyoutothestars]

My 8year old daughter has been attending the same dance class since she was 5. The teacher is lovely, but she is the only adult in the room (she does have a teenage helper). Since the tragic events at a holiday club in summer last year, I have been growing more anxious at the lack of security at the dance class.

The class is held in a local village club, where there are a few small social rooms and a bar. It is very open and people come and go quite easily. The children enter through an unlocked door and exit through the fire exit, although with the warmer weather returning I noticed she has taken to propping the fire exit door open throughout the class which makes me very uneasy.

Parents drop off and pick up for the session, although occasionally I will hang around outside because of my nervousness.

I don’t know how to approach the teacher with my concerns as don’t want to be seen as an overly anxious mother, but events in the news terrify me and it feels like she hasn’t considered how vulnerable the class could be. It is worth mentioning that 5 mins away there is a Psychiatric hospital and we often see patients out and about in the community, although not always appearing well. Although I’m not suggesting this is my only concern, I do worry how open and vulnerable the class appears.

AIBU to raise this concern with the teacher? There isn’t usually time for any interaction between classes so communication is via email.

Appreciate your thoughts on how to approach, but please be kind this is my first post.

Does everyone who thinks OP is being unreasonable also think that schools shouldn’t bother with security?

This is kind of what I was saying above. I think those people saying the risk is low, are missing the point. The risk of an attack in school is low but they still have safeguarding. The chance of a plane crash is low but we still wear seatbelts and listen to the safety briefing. Low risk doesn’t mean no safeguarding especially where other peoples children are involved. Risk might be low but consequences could be tragic. Someone said upthread, the Southport dance teacher probably thought the risk was low. And it was, but it did happen and it was beyond awful.
im not saying clubs and activities could possibly replicate what goes on in schools, but the “risk is low, chill out” argument is not really the point

This is totally illogical

Parks are full of children. You can't have security for all children in all groups at all times

"How would you deal with children getting tennis lessons in a group?
Genuinely interested because it’s outside. They can go in and out if they want to. Abd people come in and out during the lessons too.
And if that’s an ok situation (there wouldn’t be anyone playing tennis outdoors if it wasn’t), why is it not as soon as the activity is indoors?"

And no one is willing to answer why expecting dance classes to have security measures is unreasonable but expecting a school to is reasonable.

Would you send your child to a school that didn’t have gates, intercom etc?
Would you send your child to a school that is easily accessible by any member of the public?

This sort of paranoia and general anxiety will severely affect your enjoyment of life, and that of your daughter. Please get help for it.

I don't think wanting a bit of extra security and vigilance at a children's activity Is "paranoia" and stopping the op enjoying life.

She’s still thinking about Southport and the guy who murdered his family in Luton.
That is too much. And anxiety like that is easily transferred to children. It needs to be addressed.

There is nothing wrong with wanting things to change after that horrific tragedy though. We don't know what the op is conveying to her child I'm assuming she's quite calm because she is still sending her child to dancing. Putting thoughts down and wondering if she should say something about safety. Open doors,people wandering in and out of a building isn't paranoia imo, just a concerned parent.

Agree

Would you send your child to school somewhere where there were no gates or lock or intercoms?
Where anybody off the street could walk in whenever the way wanted?

Just don’t open it again.

HTH

For a 45 minute dance class, yes of course.

I asked whether you would be happy sending your child to a school with no security gates or anything to keep members of the public being able to freely access it.

The fact you refused to answer speaks volumes.

Yes I do.
For a tennis lesson, twice a week.
Courts are outdoors. No real barriers. People coming in and out.

EDIT to add
Youre not mentioning schools.
Schools are different just because if their size. Like it wouldnt let my child out of my sight in a shopping center Vut I’m happy to do so in says tennis courts.

I SPECIFICALLY wrote schools.

If children are vulnerable in schools to members of the public then they are vulnerable in dance lessons to members of the public.

Stating that it would be logistically and financially impossible to ensure the same level of safety is a perfectly reasonable position.

Attempting to portray the OP as being neurotic and over protective by having concerns about a lack of security which we expect in other places we leave our children under others’ supervision is disgusting.

Completely agree

That’s how I grew up, and that was during the times if IRA bombings. Fortunately schools weren’t targets but other public places were. You didn’t know when or where an attack was going to happen.
(and I lived in England, not Ireland/Northern Ireland)

Apologies. I thought we were talking about OP’s concerns about her daughter’s dance class, and you were just exaggerating for effect.
No - I wouldn’t accept a school with no security.
Yes - I do accept dance classes, swim classes, skateboarding sessions, netball club, etc with no security other than the attendance of a teacher and any helper(s).

I don’t really know what the point of your question is though?

The point of the question is about the risk that pp keep talking about. “Op, chill out, you’re more likely to get hit by a car than an attacker break into a dance class”. This is not about that. It’s unlikely that an attacker will break into a school but there are still safeguarding processes in place. Just because a risk is low, doesn’t mean the stakes aren’t high, and there shouldn’t be safeguarding measures in place.

If we demand school-level security measures for everything, our kids will be unable to engage in any extra-curricular activities. It is simply unachievable in most locations, and unaffordable in the rest.
We can’t navigate life, and nor should we try to, with ZERO risk. It’s all about risk assessment and taking measured risks with awareness.

“Just because a risk is low, doesn’t mean the stakes are high, and there shouldn’t be safeguarding measures in place”.

I don’t think anyone necessarily disagrees with this, but I guess depends how low or high you set the bar. Fortunately, attacks such as the dance class are very rare, hence why people are saying the situation should be taken in context.

And as I stated upthread, I wonder how many of these clubs that have locked the doors have carried out fire drills?

So why have so many posters mocked the OP and implied she’s crazy for being uncomfortable with the security levels?

It’s perfectly reasonable to state security in dance classes couldn’t be at the same level as schools because of financial constraints. That we have to make the decision whether it is worth the risk etc.

What is not ok is the disgusting minimising and collective sneering that has happened on this thread repeatedly.

Actually, scratch that. No implications. Just flat out insults such as “nut job”

This thread is awful.