Not to take husband to work everyday and pick him up

[robinsongs]

I have a 5 month old and two young children in early primary school years and mornings are pretty hectic as it is. Dh works a 10 minute drive away 20 minute walk and expects me to drive him there in the morning as I’m on maternity and pick him up when he finishes but he doesn’t have a finish time so he just texts when he’s finished, which is usually when I’m in the middle of cooking dinner or something and expects me to drop everything.
I put my foot down and said no as it’s disrupting 4 people in the morning as it’s 10 minutes each way and that’s 20 minutes cut off my morning and I have a baby to feed and then to get the others to school.

He isn’t one for taking no for an answer and has pushed and pushed and basically insisted telling the children they will be getting up earlier from now on to take daddy and I feel defeated as I have firmly said no and he’s just not accepting it because he’s decided I will.
AIBU or should I take him to work as I’m home all day and he’s working hard or should he respect my no and not push and push. He’s now asleep thinking he’s getting a lift in and picked up and I am awake feeling quite bitter that no matter how many times I made it clear I wouldn’t be taking him, it seems he’s just decided he’s getting his way and I am.
He can’t drive himself to work as there’s no parking nearby.

I wouldn't want to do that 5 days a week. 20 minute walk isn't much. If it were me, I would offer to do it 2 or 3 days a week but not all 5. That's a fair compromise. That way he can look forward to the days he gets a lift and you can look forward to the days he's not getting a lift. With 3 young kids it's quite disruptive to your already chaotic morning. It wouldn't be such an issue if you could leave them at home while u nip out but they are too young right now.

How does he survive when you’re not on Mat leave?!

I would take him if the weather was bad, but otherwise let him walk! 20 minutes! Most kids walk further than that to school…!

Yes I'd make an exception in very bad weather but that is it. Why on earth can't a grown man manage to walk one mile?

He's living in the 1970's when it was normal for wives to do this sort of thing! If it's a 20 minute walk away, buy him a new pair of trainers!!! Of course occasionally you could chauffeur him around, but do not become his Uber driver.

He sounds like a massive bellend, he should be letting you get more sleep and sound everything he can. I can’t believe the men I read about on here it’s baffling and so depressing what women have to put up with

It doesn't matter what you say, it's what you do (or don't)

So just don't do it

Ok, I’m going to say it but a 10min drive isn’t usually only a 20min walk. Usually a 10min drive is at least 5-6miles @ 30mph, which is around an hours walk.

So I am not sure who is being unreasonable.

Why can’t he walk 20mins there and back? Why not cycle the short distance? You’re doing the school run and looking after a baby. He’s a big baby and needs to grow up.

He’s a grown up so he can find a way to do the journey to and from work. Nothing wrong with an hours walk either.

if It's a 20 minute walk, he should walk. Put a coat on if it's raining. I walk that to work. I wouldn't dream of asking dh for a lift and we don't have babies and toddlers.

Still think we need the distance as 10m in car isn’t a 20min walk

I would offer him a trade.

He gets the kids up, breakfasted, school bags packed, baby ready and dressed and in the car. So all you have to do is get out of bed, put your clothes on and walk out to the car. In that case, you'll drive in.

Or he walks the bloomin' 20 minutes and gets some exercise.

I know which I'd choose.

Great! I guess he will be taking his car that he paid for then and adult stay at home no income OP can find her way with the DC and babies.

Editing to add I’m being sarcastic, two can play the my way or highway game, the situation is going to require compromise IRL

Don’t keep repeating it though. Just say it ONCE!

Who does the car belong to? Who pays for the fuel/insurance/tax/MOT?

Yep!

You’re not the selfish one here, he is. Clearly he has no respect for you or the kids and by keep pushing your boundaries he’s demonstrating that. Tell him firmly you are not his chauffeur and you have enough to do without being expected to be a taxi service for a man child as well as your children. If he persists then send him to his parents with a note around his neck explaining why.

Why bother posting if you aren’t going to take the situation seriously? No one sane would do such a degrading thing to their partner.

A 10 minute drive is doable by bicycle unless the only route is on a motorway or road that would be near suicidal to cycle along (it's unlikely to be more than five miles). I cycled a 19 mile round trip with hills to my former workplace years ago. If I had a wife I cannot imagine a situation where I would expect her to be a daily chauffeur.

He sounds horribly controlling. I’d tell him you will drive him on rainy days only and the other days are on his own so he needs to plan accordingly. Then just totally ignore his sulking and tantrums.

20 minutes walk is nothing. If he can't manage it twice a day, he must be pretty unfit. I'd 'lose' the car keys.... No, I wouldnt, I'd just say no and mean it.

It depends heavily on whether it is urban, suburban or rural. My allotment is three miles away and it takes just over 10 minutes by car, 20 minutes by bicycle because I go through the centre of town. If the journey was mostly on motorway 10 minutes could be 10 miles.

For 20 mins I wouldn’t even get a bike. It’s exercise, mental destress.

OP if he won’t drop this, really, truly rethink the marriage. If he is so selfish that he thinks the world revolves round him….

Half an hour on the loo? He's escaping from parenting. Tell him you're worried about his diet and feed him prunes.

I think your DH is unreasonable however if his work is on the way to school l would give him a lift some days as a compromise, but would not if it means that the children have to get up early, and not pick him up in the evenings as you are busy doing meals etc.