Not to take husband to work everyday and pick him up

[robinsongs]

I have a 5 month old and two young children in early primary school years and mornings are pretty hectic as it is. Dh works a 10 minute drive away 20 minute walk and expects me to drive him there in the morning as I’m on maternity and pick him up when he finishes but he doesn’t have a finish time so he just texts when he’s finished, which is usually when I’m in the middle of cooking dinner or something and expects me to drop everything.
I put my foot down and said no as it’s disrupting 4 people in the morning as it’s 10 minutes each way and that’s 20 minutes cut off my morning and I have a baby to feed and then to get the others to school.

He isn’t one for taking no for an answer and has pushed and pushed and basically insisted telling the children they will be getting up earlier from now on to take daddy and I feel defeated as I have firmly said no and he’s just not accepting it because he’s decided I will.
AIBU or should I take him to work as I’m home all day and he’s working hard or should he respect my no and not push and push. He’s now asleep thinking he’s getting a lift in and picked up and I am awake feeling quite bitter that no matter how many times I made it clear I wouldn’t be taking him, it seems he’s just decided he’s getting his way and I am.
He can’t drive himself to work as there’s no parking nearby.

Where’s OP? Hope you didn’t take him today. Couldn’t believe what I was reading earlier!

Absolutely not. DH thinks that you spending 20 minutes driving plus goodness only knows how long getting 3 children in and out the car to save him a 20 minute walk is utterly ludicrous and he wants you to do that twice a day. He is absolutely out of his mind. I am all for making others lives easier but not at that level of personal expense.

I reckon OP took him in 😐

Not really sure what you want strangers on the internet to do? Just say no and mean it. It’s like toddlers- every time you cave you just let yourself in for double the tantrum next time.

A 20 minute walk is about a mile. I’m assuming 1 mile taking 10 minutes is because of traffic. He could cycle that in about 7 minutes. Very unreasonable to
cost 4 people 20 minutes each journey, so 40 minutes each day. That’s the equivalent of 2 hours 40 minutes for a round trip journey he could do in 14 minutes. Insane.

Wow. What an entitled attitude. You’re right, his disrespect of your boundaries and getting the kids involved too is a massive issue. 20 mins walk is nothing. My husband does it everyday, never one complaint. I used to walk/cycle far longer to my work. Actually quite enjoyed it. Sorry he’s making you feel like this. X

What’s the distance

A 20 min walk is nothing! It’s his daily exercise. Is he lazy / unfit? Most people would happily do that walk just to keep active. Exception if it’s raining.

20 min walk to work on my own sounds like a dream vs getting 2 kids ready for school whilst caring for a baby. Tell him to consider himself lucky. Plus, the exercise is good for him.

Is this real? Wtf is wrong with people? Why on earth should anyone be driving a car instead of walking for 20 minutes? I'm assuming there is not a safety issue. I would not even entertain this request.

I would say absolutely no no and no again. We had a similar situation when dh took a new job on and I made it clear I would not be doing this daily, dragging out the children one of whom was newborn and disrupting our evenings to pick up again. Our baby was a very witching hour baby and would also havr fallen asleep in the car at that time on a short journey even! Like you said school mornings are hard enough and my routines are created around our small children as they should be not mention they need downtime of afterschool too. I refused to have my maternity spoilt by this it's hard enough with school runs. Even now I'm back at work part time I do the school runs and nursery pick-ups plus extra curriculars as it is. When I have on the odd occasion picked DH because we were in the area anyway he ran late so I had to drive back home as the children needed dinner then drag them back out, chaos! My DH is wonderful and does lots with the children and round the house and that's literally our job as parents and a team but if the roles were reversed I also wouldn't expect this of him/dc.

This. Just don't take him. Don't pick him up (if necessary don't answer your phone). Maybe eventually he'll get the message.

Selfish bastard. Him, not you.

You don’t think it’s unreasonable that she should get up earlier after night feeding because he can’t be arsed with a 20 min walk????????

Just ignore him and don’t do it

I’d agree if the 10 minute drive really is a 20 minute walk. My 7 minute drive to a station is a 30 minute walk - is your traffic bad?

So him saving 10 minutes on the morning is costing you 20? No way, stick to your guns, it’s not happening.

This is so weird.
i have a 15 minute walk just to the station.

it’s quite nice. a bit of exercise.
Add just five minutes to that and he’s AT WORK? That would be the dream.

Absolutely no way would I be giving him a lift. He sits on the toilet for 30 mins leaving you to cope with school run and a baby and then demands a lift for a 20 min walk? Height of bloody laziness!

My ex used to do the toilet sitting malarkey ignoring the school run chaos and its one of the reasons he is now an ex!

So basically he's asking you to lose 20 minutes (or most likely more when you factor in all the faff of getting the kids in the car) so he can gain 10 minutes, twice a day?

I agree. It's usually the walk to the public transport. It seems bonkers to me.

This! What else doesn't he accept "no" as an answer?

I’d conveniently ‘lose’ the car keys in the morning if I were you.

Just refuse to do it.

Tell him to buy a bicycle.

And hide the car keys so he doesn't fuck you over out of spite and take them.