To think it’s wrong to go on holiday without DC

[Pinkdreams]

I keep seeing on Facebook women going on holiday multiple times a year, leaving their young DC at home, this isn’t just one person it’s multiple, as a mother I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a different country to my child, what if something happened? Is it just me? Is this the norm?

I love having a child free break. I have a life outside my children, I'm more than just a parent.

Absolutely, once you are a Mother you give up your right to be a Wife, daughter or friend. 🙄

(BTW, from around the age of 14 my DS would have rather cut his legs off than go on holiday with DH & I, he much preferred his Granny's home cooking and meeting up with his friends).

My daughter goes on holiday with her dad. What am I supposed to do while she is doing that - sit in my flat weaving baskets?

I even asked her just now if she minded me going on holiday alone or with my friend or partner, while she is with her dad. She laughed at the concept - she said she activelt wants me to ask she prefers to think of me happy!

I wonder if OP objects to dad's going away without the DC. Or is it just moms......

Yes. You’re being unreasonable.

You are the type of
reason why I would ne er start a thread wo a name change.
What exactely does it give you to go and hunt down previous threads or posts? A feeling of power? A ‘oh I got you!’ Superiority feeling?

What about just answering the thread and leaving it at that?

I did not realise that was even a thing until recently, when I saw it mentioned in another post. Seems a bit mean spirited to try and catch people out.

If people are THAT stupid to contradict themselves in their posts then they need to be called out to be fair…it’s wasting everyone’s time otherwise

Fair enough.

I mean when posts are deliberately judgey and antagonistic and critical I don’t really blame people for wanting to see if they’re a hypocrite

No, of course it's not 'wrong', don't be ridiculous.

Clutching pears has made me belly laugh!!! My hands instantly went to my boobs!!! 😂😂 Thankyou!!!

I've had several 4 day breaks abroad without my dc, they still get 3 or 4 holidays a year with me, and I feel no guilt!

You might be on holiday and away from your kids then something happens to you? You could have an accident /die at anytime wherther your kids are with you or not.
It's not going to make any difference where you are. I never went away much without the kids, couldn't afford it, but as long as they were safe and cared for I went.

Yeah fair enough, so is that why people name change…so they can’t be indentified from other posts? Also, why do people announce they have name changed? There is obviously a reason but I’m not seasoned enough on MN to know why.

New to mumsnet?

I go on holiday without my dc, as does Dh. Sometimes we take a child on holiday and leave the other at home (with Dh or I, not on their own, of course). It’s lovely. I try to do it every year if I can. No different then work travel and I’ve done 2 weeks in Australia when eldest was 16 months and 2 weeks in the US when she was 3. 🤷🏻‍♀️

If anything happened, Dh is a perfectly competent parent and can handle it. Realistically, if there is an emergency (and we’ve had a few!), only one of can go into hospital anyway as we have other dc and a dog, so we’d still have to trade off. By the time Dh needed to trade off, I’d be back if it was a true emergency that required an immediate flight home. I personally never had an emergency of that nature in my 18 years as a child and so far haven’t had one in my 12 years as a parent, so I think the chances are slim.

Sounds like transference of anger at women for male intransigence.

Don't worry OP, in a few years you'll be so desperate for time away from your children you'll think a supermarket trip alone is the height of bliss 😆

Also, it's okay to go away and be a person not just "mum" and still miss your kids whilst away. They're not mutually exclusive.

Oh give over. No, I don’t need to be with my precious little bubz every single second of my existence. I regularly go away for UK or shorthaul weekends with friends (and no kids come). DH is currently on a break abroad with friends. I just paused booking my own long weekend away in a couple of months time to scroll on here.

These are European breaks with multiple flights a day back to the UK, though. We have the chance to go to a far-flung southeast Asian country child-free next year and I’m honestly not sure about that. Same reason - if there was an emergency we’d be 24 hours away.

Because you think that people dint change details all the time just to avoid being recognised?

The only people whose time is wasted is the initial poster. The others? Fgs what difference does it make to you!

Yeah, I used to think that….. now I’ve changed my mind.

I’ve just been on 2 child free holidays, within a few weeks. One with DH (first one together, without kids) then one with my DPs (which is becoming a regular thing).

DH goes away with friends each year too.

It gives us a much needed break. Holidays with the kids are exhausting!!

I have had plenty of holidays without my kids over the years. I don’t just exist as a mother. They’ve had plenty of holidays so aren’t deprived. They have grown up now, and have no complaints.

How does it help calling them out on it?
Because saying ‘oh look you’re hypocritical’ is addressing their initial claim? Nope.
It makes you look bad/stepping down at their level. Their claim stands with no rebuttal from you.

We didn’t go on week long holidays without out children, but I don’t care what others do, as long as their children are being cared for by someone they’re happy with. We did sometimes have a couple of nights away without our children. They stayed with our close friends and had a lovely time.

If we are grandparents in the future, we would be more than happy to have our grandchildren if out children and their partners wanted a holiday alone. I think it can encourage a really lovely bond between grandparents and grandchildren. My children didn’t have that as an option but they are very close, even now they’re older, to our friends who they stayed with and their children.

No. Sorry. I was agreeing that I wouldn’t do it. That’s all.