To think it’s wrong to go on holiday without DC

[Pinkdreams]

I keep seeing on Facebook women going on holiday multiple times a year, leaving their young DC at home, this isn’t just one person it’s multiple, as a mother I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a different country to my child, what if something happened? Is it just me? Is this the norm?

I feel super guilty at the thought of taking holiday without dc. But I don't think the guilt is healthy tbh. I noticed how refreshed I feel after work trips even though I do mostly day round-trips within 1.5-2 hrs flight from London, overnighters rarely.
Still the feeling of disconnecting from routine otw to airport is nice:))))

Yes, routine is nice but it can also be stifling

Personally I wouldn't want to go away without my children but mine are pre schoolers so I might feel differently in a few years. Most of my friends go away with their partners and other friends on breaks and holidays. I don't think it unusual, mums need a break!

I think any parent should be free to do their own endeavours if they can afford to and so wish to. I have previously been on holiday without my kids and my DH is currently on a 3 week holiday with friends and I think it's healthy to do things independently away from the kids and support each other in doing so

Yabvu. My sister does this because she works her fucking arse off and bends over backwards for her kids to give them everything she can. She could never afford a family holiday in half term so no, I don't begrudge her taking a week to herself a couple of times a year, when her kids are in school 30+ hours a week anyway.

It's basically a few hours childcare on the weekdays and one weekend to give her the break she needs to carry on being supermum. The kids love spending time with us and their grandparents and do their normal routine and get lots of treats. They know mum is coming back.

Wind your neck in. Good parents (note parents, not women) leave their children sometimes. Terrible parents can also be ever-present.

you could say that but equally you could say, there are multiple ways to lead a good life, which I imagine this poster is probably saying. (She might be a nazi obviously, but the balance of probably suggests she’s not)

I left mine for a week, they were with family that they only saw twice a year. Youngest was 18 months they all had a great time being taken to the park, swimming and goodness knows what else, they really weren't that excited when we returned. This was before mobiles and internet so they was no contact at all. Do i feel guilty about leaving them ? No. Were they traumatised by it ? No. Mums are allowed space, there are no extra points for being a martyr.

Hi OP. I used to think exactly the same as you. I thought it was almost cruel to leave young children at home. That was because both my children were incredibly clingy, complete velcro babies. Then one day when they were about 4 and 2, I just had enough of being a martyr. I left them for a whole week and went on holiday with my mum. It had been almost 5 years since I had gone away. I cried all the way to the airport and felt so guilty. As soon as I got to the airport I relaxed, had a lovely meal, went shopping and was just being me and enjoying every single second. I had a wonderful holiday and came back so refreshed and happy. I was a better mum. I was so so relaxed. DH was happy I finally did something for myself. Now I go away for 1 week every year without DC and wouldn't change it for the world. In the grand scheme of life, it is only a few days and it's good for children to grow up seeing their parents have hobbies, interests, friends, a life of their own. Going away and being out all the time can't be good either, it's all about balance. And that balance includes a mum being able to do something for herself without judgement.

Godwin’s law, innit.

Just had to Google what Godwin’s law is 😂🤣. Everyday is a school day.

dh and I have had a city break every year , does wonders for the marriage op!! I'd feel bad if I went somewhere the dc would enjoy, so we choose culture, food, city sights. Not butlins!

She forgets her children are 23 and 31 and are away without her 🤣🤣

Women, eh? What are they like? Taking holidays and all sorts.

Shit parents, that's why the country is going to shit, you brought these kids into the world, they didn't ask to be here, so fucking look after them and take them with you, you want holidays without kids, don't fucking have any!!!

I go away all the time. Idgaf what people think. My life

🤣.

so a working mother or father who goes to New York for three days for a business trip and leaves their child in the care of the other parent is a shot parent?

the mother who goes on a spa weekend with her sister and leaves the children with their dad is to blame for the feral children running the streets?

the couple who go to Paris for their anniversary and leave their 8 and 10 year old with their grandparents are the cause of the high crime levels in the inner cities?

yes there are heartbreaking stories of parents who leave small children alone while they go on holiday. But that isn’t what we are talking about here. We are talking g about normal families where either parent has business or pleasure trips and arrange for trusted adults to look after their children. That’s good for everyone!

Do your children never stay with a grandparent or aunt?

@Mush62 sounds like she needs a bit of me-time herself 💅

Yeah, and fun. Thete should be an inquiry.

First time I left mine I cried the whole way to the airport but I absolutely loved it kids was fine with their grandma and me and the hubs got some quality time. We have now done it every year since just for 3/4 nights buts it’s absolutely needed to a happy marriage

With such an intelligent and nuanced perspective, I think you would be better suited to Netmums.

You sound happy

What’s this got to do with what I said?

I’ve got a DH who I trust to look after the kids, can afford to go on holidays with the family and trips with my friends separately, and have good mental health so am not prone to anxiety around being away from my kids for a long weekend.

I guess if I couldn’t trust my DH, couldn’t afford to have more than one trip a year and were an anxious person I’d feel differently, like you.

Wasn’t a trip abroad actually