To think it’s wrong to go on holiday without DC

[Pinkdreams]

I keep seeing on Facebook women going on holiday multiple times a year, leaving their young DC at home, this isn’t just one person it’s multiple, as a mother I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a different country to my child, what if something happened? Is it just me? Is this the norm?

Its pretty normal for people to go away without their children. We are still our own person alongside being a mother or father.
If anything it does a person good to focus on themselves for a weekend than being a mother or wife.

I've got a girls weekend away in Nov and my and DH are going away for a week for our 10 year anniversary without the kids. Do I worry about being abroad for a week with my DH? Yes but I trust my parents to hand things at home if anything was to happen so its not going to stop me going.

@Crazyworldmum I have kids and a full time stressful job but still make time to prioritise my friends sometimes. Are ALL of your friends mutual friends? Don't you have any that are just yours? What happens if a couple splits up? Or your friends actually don't want to get together as couples because that does change the dynamic.

Doesn't your husband's best friend want to spend time on his own with him?

The pub culture is irrelevant. It's about time to be an individual, doesn't have to take place in a pub.

Pinkdreams I assume the kids are with their DF or other family member. So they are being looked after

Just women??

YABU. I’ve done it a few times, since my eldest was 18 months. I’m going to Amsterdam in the summer too. I have a great time and don’t miss them.

The way I see it, it’s good for the kids to see their mum as a human and not just MumBot who serves their needs. It’s good to see women have their own lives, friends and interests, and that they enjoy these lives friends and interests.

My own mum actually advised me of this. She lived for us, she never went anywhere “in case we needed her”. Gradually, her friendships grew apart and by the time we were all teens, we weren’t interested in her company so she had no mates nothing to do and teens who went off with their mates. None of us cared that she sacrificed her interests. I also distinctly remember feeling suffocated because she was always, always in the house. She told me to go have fun and show the kids I’m a person too. It’s the best bit of advice she ever gave me.

My partner relied on this sort of friendship arrangement for the 30 years he was married. When they divorced he ended up without friends. I believe his ex lost quite a few also as they were no longer on the " approved couples" list

Also if something happened presumably their dad will sort it. Even a man can parent, you know

It’s perfectly normal for parents of both sexes to spend time away from their children. My parents went on a month long tour around Southeast Asia and Australia when I was 13 and my brother was 9. We stayed with our auntie and had a great time.

I’m going on a city break with DP this summer and a holiday with my friends in the autumn. My children are quite content to stay with their dad. We have a family holiday abroad over Easter so they’re not missing out.

parents who have no life outside the family often come very unstuck when the children leave home or their spouse divorces them!

I used to love my week with Gran and Grandad every year when my parents went on holiday.

DD used to tell me and DP to go away for a weekend so she could have a sleepover at Grandma's as well!

I’m not worried with that , I don’t have many approved friends but the ones I have are rock solid. Some survived break ups , divorced and new marriages . We adapt but never lost friendships.

If he does he can , I can’t force him to do it 🤷🏻‍♀️. We have a massive house , they normally end up playing snooker or darts and having a few drinks in the games room . We are not restrictive on who the others see or they go , at all , neither of us is that way .
We had a few friends split up over the years I guess, including myself ( together with current partner over 6 years now ) , still friends with the original friend who in my case where the wife’s and now their new partners and mine .
I honestly don’t get why this sounds so odd to you or you are so determined to think there is a issue , there isn’t at all . We just really like to be together, prior to getting together we known each other 30 years , in many ways we are each others best friends , we both love spending time with the kids .
I was just discussing this with him and his reply was , he found it weird he had to justify us doing things together as he never through this was odd in any way .
As I said it’s probability cultural a bit , my parents married 47 years ago and I don’t think they spend a night apart .

I was just discussing this with him and his reply was , he found it weird he had to justify us doing things together as he never through this was odd in any way .

Nobody is saying you have to justify spending time together. My DH is my favourite person to spend time with, we really like each other too and really enjoy each others company. But we have friends and interests outside of the relationship and that is healthy, and gives us things to talk about if nothing else!

It is a little odd for adults not to spend time apart, or spend time with their friends without their partners present. It would ring alarm bells if my friend's DH was there every time we met.

As I said it’s probability cultural a bit , my parents married 47 years ago and I don’t think they spend a night apart .

That's not something I would want to aspire to. My grandparents were the same, my nana never had a life of her own and now she's a widower she's really lonely.

Never spending a minute apart from your partner or kids doesn't mean you love them more than the rest of us.

@Crazyworldmum

“As I said it’s probability cultural a bit , my parents married 47 years ago and I don’t think they spend a night apart”

yeah, that’s not the flex you seem to think it is

So you invite both people of a split up couple plus their new partners?

I don’t know how many people you call friends but I only have less than 2 hands full of true friends not a whole crowd . The 2 couples that got divorced we are still in touch with 3 of the people , the other did something I could not really participate with , hubby even less than me so we no longer speak with . The other comes to us often with the new partner mostly separate from his ex that is also our friend but at times ( big birthdays or anniversaries ) together .

Whether it is a mum, a dad, someone whose children are grown-up, or someone without children, my concern is if the multiple holidays involve flying, or if they are going to a country where being LGBT is illegal or they are supporting a criminal regime.

Don’t know what the norm is, and not judging those who do leave their children to go on holiday, but I wouldn’t do it.

Agree with OP. Other half does too. We did our travelling before having kids and wouldn’t want to spend money or use leave not to be with kids and show them the world. They’ll be gone soon enough and we can do stuff then. Some people I know go abroad without DCs and don’t take their children abroad…

I don’t think @Pinkdreamsmeans one parent going away while the other stays at home or the odd weekend away. I have friends who have decided to go to Vagas for 2 weeks and left their 3 kids with grandparents and then will go to the med’ for a week and leave their kids with grandparents. That to me seems odd a) for both parents to be away and b) for several weeks at a time. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think they were mocking the undertone of your post, they weren’t triggered by it 😂

I think that deep down you wish you’d do the same…

I’m sure kids also have fathers too…would you be so horrified seeing dads go off on holidays without thier children too???

let your hair down once in a while…or better yet tie it in a bun and catch some sun!

you are here posting about mums having well deserved time off while they are mentally detoxing …hmmm

How young is young?

I agree about travelling overseas. We went for the odd UK weekend away when they were weaned though.

Ugh - stop judging others.

My husband and I went away for a week in Feb without the kids (5&10), we are all going on a long haul holiday for 2 weeks in August and I have 5 nights away with my sister in September.

In addition we have 2 days at Chessington with an overnight stay, as well as 4 days away in Oct half term and 3 nights away at new years.

I don't feel like they live a deprived life….but then I don’t post my business all over SM as it’s no-one else’s business.

I’d have no problem being in a different country to my children. I’d have felt odd about spending so much money on lots of travel for myself if they weren’t also getting indulged somehow.

It is ok to leave your kids to go to work??

business travel also wrong?

what a ridiculous post

Eew! Imagine the damage you are doing to your kid(s) who will grow up feeling guilty that they prevented their mum from going on holidays.
horrible burden to place on them when they haven’t asked you to