To think it’s wrong to go on holiday without DC

[Pinkdreams]

I keep seeing on Facebook women going on holiday multiple times a year, leaving their young DC at home, this isn’t just one person it’s multiple, as a mother I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a different country to my child, what if something happened? Is it just me? Is this the norm?

@Crazyworldmum

“I would never leave hubby behind a week to go on holiday with girlfriends”

why??

OP, if you don’t want to leave your children at home to go on holiday - don’t do it, simple! Goady post trying to point out how wonderful YOU are for not being like those awful selfish mothers (not fathers of course) who abandon their children for a holiday. Well done, your medal will be in the post.

Parents are allowed to have a life that is separate from their children. I'd suggest that's pretty healthy for all concerned.
I would worry about a child who never spent any time away from parents - how would (s)he cope when the time comes to break away (eg university)? Being over-protected does them no favours.

Because we like doing things together . It’s what works as a couple .

What about mothers that are in the armed forces and are deployed away from their families?

I had holidays away from my kid and he was left with his dad. I needed the down time from life admin and came back a more relaxed and refreshed parent.

Fair enough. Everyone is different.

OP, you start a lot of threads with: “I keep seeing insert some behaviour by women you’ve decided you don’t like online/Facebook, please help me run down the people that make me insecure…”

Horses for courses. I have been away without my children when I have needed. I have friend who go away two or three times a year without their children. I actually think their friendships are better than mine because they have spent this time with their friends. Their friendships will be there when the children leave home. My kids have left home and while my friends are about we aren’t really that close

Depends on the holiday, I’m going to Japan in the summer with my dojo and wouldn’t dream of taking my 6yo on a 22 hour flight!

It does depend on what your OH is like. Mine was honestly the main carer when DC was a baby up tob about 4 as I was sick (and honestly it might have worked out that way anyway).

So I know I don't have to worry about what's happening at home.

I can’t imagine only ever going to places and doing stuff with my children and never having an actual life of my own. We are different people OP! (Travel without kids is blissful)

Did you sit and polish your halo when writing this?

Getting a break away without children is good 😊 but multiple holidays per year seems selfish to me .
I didn’t get a break away at all because there wasn’t anyone to look after my daughter ( husband worked away sometimes and even if he had a regular working day he also had a long commute)
So my first break was leaving her at playgroup for 2 mornings per week when she was 3 .
Then a friend looked after her overnight for my husband and myself to go to a wedding and stay one night at the venue .
I went on to have other children but again nobody to look after them so a break from them was maybe a few hours here and there .

I was a SAHM for 7 years and then when I went back to work, it was to suit my DD needs in a job I hated so i could prioritise her. My amazing mum has allowed DH and I to have a holiday every year since she was born as an adult couple. We also had a family holiday every year too, planned and suited to DD at the age she was at the time. I have no concerns or regrets as we needed that time and were lucky to be able to have it.

I don't give a monkeys whats other people think and they can judge all they want.

Yeah my DD recently went into town alone. Bumped into someone she knew who was horrified that she had " left" her baby behind. The aforementioned baby was quite happily being looked after by DDs husband.

DD wanted place to get hair done, get new clothes as smaller since giving birth and meet a friend for coffee

The person commenting must've been of a similar type as OP - make sure you are glued to kids 24/7 attitude

I’m not sure it’s considered angelic to say that love your own children and that this wouldn’t work for me?

But whatever. Sorry my comment hit a nerve with you.

Really don't see the issue, but then my parents always had at least one long weekend away/abroad without us every year.

DH and I do a long weekend away together each year too - typically a city break somewhere that we're keen to explore that the kids would hate, but have done a beach weekend abroad too. For the past 3 years we've also started to do a holiday each separately (i.e., I go with my friends, he goes with his) every other year (we alternate who gets a turn!) - usually a 3 night break. Then we do a week abroad with the kids in summer together, and perhaps another family friendly long weekend somewhere in the UK with them too (e.g., Centre Parcs).

Kids are 8 and 3.

@Crazyworldmum

surely you must like doing things with your pals too? It’s not good for couples to be joined at the hip!

Why? Our pals like doing couples things too , we often go out as couples with friends . Our friends are friends to both . Don’t take me wrong I know many do it differently and that’s ok , and I’m very independent I was a single working mum for 13 years prior to us getting together , but we just don’t feel the need to nights out with friends separately or holidays .
Very occasionally one has lunch or a day with a friend doing an activity but I don’t feel the need for girls nights out and he is not a pub with the lads guy .
I don’t see why you think that’s bad

@Crazyworldmum I think it's unusual for adults not to spend time with their friends separately from their partners.
When do you see friends that are not 'couple friends'?

Spending time with friends isn't a reflection on your feelings towards your partner or on the strength of your relationship. It's healthy.

@Crazybaby123

this! ⬆️

We don’t really have many we see regularly the ones we do tend to take for a meal or see at the vents at our house ( we do like to host) . We don’t have that much time to have full day with friends anyway lol we have 4 kids and full working jobs , mine with a lot of stress and responsibilities too so any breaks or days we have to tend to spend together or in family . I don’t really feel the need to have time apart in our days off or breaks , I don’t think he does either or I’m sure he would say so .

@Crazyworldmum

do either of you not have any friend that are single?

Actually right now no , we are in our 40s all friends are married or together so we tend to do dinners , BBQs etc . We have one single friend from childhood who is single and my hubbys best friend but we both know him for 30 years and he lives abroad so when we see him he tends to stay over and likes to see the kids too .
Might be cultural why it’s so alien to you maybe ? We are both from south Europe so we are really family oriented. We don’t have a pub culture as a example ( not critical in any way just trying to be explain )