To think it’s wrong to go on holiday without DC

[Pinkdreams]

I keep seeing on Facebook women going on holiday multiple times a year, leaving their young DC at home, this isn’t just one person it’s multiple, as a mother I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a different country to my child, what if something happened? Is it just me? Is this the norm?

I think parents getting away without their DCs, either alone or with a partner, would do wonders for mental health, relaxation, family and personal relationships.

My DCs are adults now. Going abroad wasn’t something I was able to do when they were younger but I’ll be the first to offer babysitting services if it’s something they’d like to do if/when they have DCs.

I’d have loved to have had the opportunity to go abroad - we (their dad and I) had some UK overnights away, DCs stayed with Grandparents and everyone loved it - it’s so important to be able to be “you” and not become lost/swallowed up being “mum”.

We always had a weeks holiday plus a couple of weekends away without our children each year and quite frankly most times I couldn’t wait to get away from them for a few days. They had fun with their grandparents while we were away.

We always had family holidays too so they weren’t too deprived.
Don’t break that strand of pearls when you clutch them too tightly now OP. 🙄

I suspect these women are also having multiple holidays a year WITH their children included and spending school holidays etc with them. Mothers deserve a break too you sound jealous

I'm fine with dads going away as long as mums gets a break too. In my experience it doesn't always work like that.

People have different ideas . Sone think it’s ok others won’t .
I would probably leave mine for a short break with my mum if they didn’t live in another country given the chance .
But mostly I enjoy family holidays , we try having at least 2 abroad a year .
on a similar subject it’s the girls or boys only holidays I don’t get . I would never leave hubby behind a week to go on holiday with girlfriends and I’m sure he wouldn’t either

I’ve only had an odd night or weekend away without them. It’s not for me, especially when they were little, but they are getting to an age where I can see it being an option again (mid teens). Each to their own though. Obviously easier if you have grandparents nearby (we don’t).

It’s just not for her, doesn’t mean she’s clutching her pearls! We all make different choices.

Did you read the title of her thread and her post! She is not ‘live and let live’ she is openly judging other people.

“To think it’s wrong”

you did read the OP’s thread title??

Yes we do and most of us don’t judge others but reading her post, she is most definitely judging.

You do you OP, but I will keep enjoying my sunset cocktail with my DH, toasting our confident, resilient, happy children who are very safe at home with their much loved DGP’s. Smug? About as smug as your “I love my children soooooo much I could never leave them, and judge those that do” post.

Maybe stop being so judgmental then

I haven't yet as he's never spent more than a night with this dad, but I will for two nights this summer for a friends wedding. I feel quite nervous about it, BUT for non single mums lwho have children that are used to being looked after and put to bed by decent dads yabvu. Give mums a break - they deserve it and it's too expensive and less relaxing to drag all the kids abroad, let mum get a change of scenery,, someone else to cook and make her bed for a couple of days

Lovely daughter!
I guess you should be saving money and batch cooking for your daughter and cleaning her room and crying that she's not there?

I couldn’t do it, I even more so can’t understand couples who go abroad leaving kids behind and the kids don’t get away abroad at all, lucky if they get a weekend in this country. My thoughts are if we c t afford to all go then we don’t go. Maybe I’m in the minority but there are (hopefully) plenty of years ahead to holiday without the kids, the years with them young and wanting to holiday with you are short in comparison.

All depends on the age of the children mostly. I still have a baby and breastfeeding so couldnt even think of leaving my baby, my other children are toddlers and it’s quite complicated with childcare to leave them, maybe for a day or 2 max. But if my children are much older then I may feel different about leaving them for longer. However I always wonder if I spend the whole time worrying about them would a trip be worth the stress. A spa trip for a few hours down the road is all
im ready for right now, each to their own.

I’ve never done it and it wouldn’t work for me. I enjoy being with my children and don’t wish to get away from them or “have a break”. I chose to have children and of course it’s not always easy but I don’t feel the need to have time away from them!

I guess it works for some people, and in some cases may be best for the children.

My parents did a big trip abroad without us when we were little and we went to stay with the big cousins for a week. I loved being with the big cousins it was so fun playing with them and much more fun than a long haul and sightseeing with my parents would have been!
I also think it would have been great for my parents to reconnect and reignite their marriage without us for a little bit, which we would have benefited from as kids, having parents who were even more in love and refreshed

Actually, going away for a few nights with the girls was the absolute best thing for helping our (mine and DH) relationship. It really helped us both to understand each other and get some perspective after a tricky few years immediately after our first was born and DH mother was ill. Which was good for our family overall.
Saying you will miss your children too much to go away for a few nights a year I think is worrying. They and you are individuals, not one person that can never be parted. I don't think its healthy to be that attached. In fact I actually think it's a bit weird. I certainly wouldnt want a parent that couldn't bear to spend one night away from me. It's totally suffocating.

I wouldn’t do it personally and sometimes when a parent (not just a mother) starts talking about their exciting childfree holiday, right in front of their child, I feel sad for them HOWEVER who am I to judge anyone?

Maybe they need that space to themselves to be a better parent the other 358 days of the year.

I enjoy being with my children and don’t wish to get away from them or “have a break”. I chose to have children and of course it’s not always easy but I don’t feel the need to have time away from them!

Do you think that parents who have time away from their children don't enjoy spending time with them? What a ridiculous statement.

I love spending time with my child, he's great company. I also enjoy spending time with my husband or friends doing things without children. That doesn't mean I wish I didn't have a child or that I need a break. It means I'm adult with interests that don't involve my child.

Ever heard of women who are in the army?

Kids at boarding school abroad?

Mothers leaving their kids in 3rd world countries to go and find work to provide for them?

If kids can be left at all, why not for a holiday?
It's good to recharge and also good for kids to be socialised with others, other than the mum.

Don't be so judgemental OP, life throws curveballs when you least expect.

If you're a single parent, you need to be able to have some Me time.

I think it’s great to teach children, particularly girls, that women are allowed to have lives separate from their role as a mother. Women can have careers, friends and hobbies. They don’t have to dedicate every second to caring for children.

Children should of course feel valued, safe and loved. But they should also be able to stay with trusted adults for short periods of time.

My parents went on holidays - to weddings, business trips, city breaks. We stayed with grandparents and my aunt and uncle. It was great! A couple of long weekends a year.

I also went on school trips from the age of ten.

@Radish81 unnecessary and not very kind.

I think each to their own. I personally can’t go anywhere without DC superglued to my side but it would be nice to have a break occasionally.