To think it’s wrong to go on holiday without DC

[Pinkdreams]

I keep seeing on Facebook women going on holiday multiple times a year, leaving their young DC at home, this isn’t just one person it’s multiple, as a mother I couldn’t stand the thought of being in a different country to my child, what if something happened? Is it just me? Is this the norm?

I was cabin crew for the first five years of being a mum! Away quite often.
Since then I’ve holidayed once a year without them, abroad, and it’s what I needed and what my husband needed.
My children were always fine, they are young adults now, independent, enjoy their own holidays away from me.
My eldest is also epileptic and sometimes things happened but her grandparents and later her dad when we divorced were all just as capable as me at dealing with it. Each to their own but I’ve always enjoyed an adults only break yearly

I think it’s a perfectly good analogy unless you don’t believe that both animal babies and human babies form attachments to their primary caregiver.

Something has gone very wrong with OP.

Some parents do horrendous thiings to their children. Some are cruel. Some are absent. Some don’t prioritize basic needs. Some children live in houses where they don’t have a bed, don’t have a toy or a book.

But OP chooses to get outraged by women who go abroad for a holiday with their friends while leaving their children with perfectly responsible carers (I.e. the other parent, grandparents or aunt and uncles).

There is clearly something going on with OP that isn’t about the welfare of the children. Seeing women do something other than martyr themselves makes OP angry. Seeing mothers spend time and money on themselves makes her angry. I think she needs to think about why this is.

DH and I used to go on a 1 week holiday without DC every year as well as 2 week family holiday. My MiL and FiL used to invite DC to stay with them for a week. They live by the coast and would both take a week off from work and focus entirely on taking DC out somewhere nice every day and MiL would cook their favourite meals. My kids absolutely loved going to my parents in laws. About 3 weeks before they went each year we'd get the how many more days before we can go to MiL's house, asked every few days. My DC are all grown up now, FiL has died and MiL is elderly and lives alone but my DS's regularly go up to visit her and take her out for a cream tea or an ice cream. All the love she lavished on my DS's they are now repaying her. She'll never be lonely with no visitors.

Do you apply the same standards and thinking to men/ fathers, op?

I'm 62 you prick!

Hungover? 😂

Doesn’t mean you don’t live with your parents

you certainly don’t with your wife who you cheated on and left you

presumably she’s been on holidays with the children since then without you

Along with lonely bitter angry and full of resentment

Along with lonely bitter angry and full of resentment

So bit of a prick then?🤷🏼‍♀️

Well his ex certainly thinks so

I am a good mum, I have 2 wonderful teens who I am very close with. Every year since they were born my husband and I have taken a holiday without them. Sometimes it’s 5 nights in the UK, but we have also had upto 10 nights in the Caribbean. My children will one day fly the nest and we will return to life living as a couple, giving occasional priority to our relationship is very important to us, after 18 years of marriage we are as happy and as in love as we ever were - possibly even more so. When we are away my children used to travel to my mums and spend a week with their Nan and their cousins, they had a wonderful time. Now that they are older and leading more independent lives their Nan comes to stay just to keep an eye on things. My girls have a very close relationship with my mum, which given we live 200 miles apart may not have happened without the special times they have had together. My husband and I have continued to make very precious memories as a couple, I see no problem with what we have chosen to do. We also have a family holiday every year, my girls are very well travelled, they don’t suffer from mum and dad having some time together. I think your comments are rather judgy.

Still acting like a silly child…a very bitter and twisted one and so aggressive! Think his family situation worked out for the best for them

Too right

This is a thoughtful post and seems to be relevant to OP position.

@Pinkdreams instead of lashing out at women who are able to have holidays with their friends whilst their children stay with their father/other family, you should focus on your personal unhappiness.

I know that will come across as goady, but maybe I’ve been in a similar situation? Look inward for positive solutions.

@Mush62

do you have a problem with women choosing not to be martyrs?

As a single mum i need a break so i have absolutely traveled on my own abroad for a long weekend. Its liberating and resets my batteries.

as long as the children are safe i can't see any issues.

I believe it's important to rest and relax so you can give more of yourself to your children. Without a break you burn out.
My sister won't even go overnight without her child and that's up to her.

In theory I think it's commendable. In reality I wouldn't be able to leave DC for more than a night with anyone but their dad. If I was going without him then three nights max. I'd miss them so much though, not sure I'd really see the point. Maybe that's not a good thing.

I go away abroad at least twice a year with my friends. Most of us have children. It’s healthy and the kids are all happy with their other parent.

You’re 62, @Mush62?

How embarrassing for you. I’d be mortified if my dad was so incapable of reasonable discussion on an internet forum.

Not embarrassed at all, now why don't you run along!!!

I don’t suppose you are given your background! So much to feel embarrassed about

Leave your kids for 3 days to go on holiday - bad mother

leave your kids permanently to shag another woman- real man

yeah that works 😂

Is that what your wife said to you when she found out you’d cheated on her?

or perhaps one of your kids