To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

😂

I think I hit a nerve. Calm the aggression down 😂

We can disagree without the put downs, surely?

😂
Ooh ooh have we reached the inevitable part of every thread on here that goes "wah you must be a man!" if you disagree with the "correct" 🙄 way of thinking for a woman?! 😁
Or that they must be trolling instead of just disagreeing with you?!
Laughable really.

Guys even though she’s in the wrong I think some of these comments are way too harsh and personal this app really can be good but also absolutely awful

Agreed. I'd be teaching my child not to body shame anyone.

It's important kids see all kinds and shapes of bodies and are taught to be polite.

Mumsnet seems happy with endless fake posts about ‘inappropriate’ thongs. Baffles me.

If you think it's fake, report it instead of troll hunting.

It’s not body shaming to think it’s inappropriate clothing for a toddler swimming session.

The post I responded to wasn't challenging harmful stereotypes. They were saying that if its not OK for men, it shouldn't be for women, which is a different argument entirely. And rather silly given when it comes to swimwear, when men are permitted to be topless and women are not, so the norms are entirely different. I'm all for awareness of the issues around women's clothing, and fully agree with your second paragraph. But this is a thread complaining about and shaming an individual woman for her choice, and I'm not interested in doing that, whatever faux feminist spin people may use to justify it.

Your completely unreasonable! It's not your business what someone else wears! Quite frankly you made yourself look like a complete Karen complaining about something you had no business to. My advice. When your out and about stop shaming other women and mind your own business you'll be much happier for it!

You're
...and another misogynist.

I dread to think how you behave when you see nipples in the pool!

This is like the 7th swimming pool thing thread in a fortnight. What’s going on? Do people really care about seeing a bit of arse cheek?

Well it wasn’t a toddler wearing a thong was it

Where do you stand on nipples out in the pool?

a person who dislikes, despises, or is strongly prejudiced against women.

The definition of a misogynist. Just thought you might need it seeing as YOU'RE throwing out accusations. Might hold more weight if you actually used if correctly lol!

You’re right, it wasn’t a toddler wearing a thong. They don’t sell thongs for toddlers due to them being inappropriate for toddler swimming sessions.

Yep. If you're using misogynistic slurs, it really undermines the idea that your view is on the side of women.

As opposed to complaining about a woman minding her own business wearing what she wants. Blasting it all over the Internet calling her inappropriate attempting to belittle her!

Or calling a multiple women misogynistic for expressing their opinion? 🤔😂

And they do sell things for adults because they’re appropriate for swimming on an adult.

You didn’t answer my question about nipples

I think the person I most feel sorry for is the poor fuckers on reception, working on Sunday to hear complaints from some pearl clutching prude. It’s a swimming pool. You’re gonna see skin. Men show way more of their bodies than women. And even more when half of them show their builders bums popping out their shorts when they bend over. If you find it upsetting maybe stay home or hire a private pool

I hate this new world we live in. Where everyone is ' desensitized' to PORN. This vountry has come a long way from not showing ankles in 1900 , to practically NAKED in public. I sooo agree with the OP. Its only going to get worse Im afraid.

If they are appropriate for swimming on an adult why are they not appropriate for swimming on a toddler?

It’s obvious the ridiculous point you’re going to try and make but I’ll play along for now, where do I stand on nipples out at the pool? I don’t think women should be swimming topless at a toddler swimming session either, does that answer your question?

Why do they wear these thongs in public places ie swimming pools though? - whats wrong with bikini bottoms covering the cheeks - the beach yes - swimming pool no end of - think there should be posters up showing what’s appropriate swimwear in public pools -

What did you expect the staff to do escort her off the premises? Display a sign saying no buttocks on show? This has give me a good laugh tonight 🤣

I think it's not something you really see at swimming pools in the UK, hence the OP's post. However, it would be pretty common place at a beach on holiday along with women being topless and nobody bats an eyelid there. Personally, it is not something I could have got worked up about and complained about but people are entlitled to their own opinions.

You Might have found it totally inappropriate but was she actually breaking any rules? No? Then i think your absolutely being petty. 🙄

The thing with 'it's not breaking the rules', though, is that there's no possible way that the people in charge can have thought of and ruled on everything, and they will make assumptions of normal behaviour - that doesn't mean that it's otherwise automatically OK.

OP says they have rules that swimmers cannot be completely naked, so technically, a man wearing a t-shirt and nothing else at all would not be completely naked, and so he would be within the rules and how dare anybody say anything when he isn't breaking any rules. He's wearing what he feels comfy in, and if any prudish, body-shaming pearl-clutchers don't like it, they can just look away and mind their own business, eh?

They likely don't have an established stated rule that you can't ride a bike along the pool side; or loudly play the trombone in the pool; or pay for your swim using potatoes - but that doesn't mean that they've declared it fine to do, should somebody wish to. In fact, it wouldn't surprise me if some TikTokker somewhere cottoned on to this and deliberately did outrageous things that nobody had thought it necessary to make a rule to ban, for clicks.

Until this trend of swimwear exposing bums began, it would just have been assumed that everybody would have been on the same basic page: that genitals, bottoms and female breasts would obviously be covered, without anybody having to spell it out.

Just like they don't have a specific dress code for the Oscars, Grammys and the like - but that didn't stop a lot of people being offended and outraged by Bianca Censori effectively wearing nothing at all. There will be a basic understanding of what is decent; and normal people don't need rules to tell them what should be blatantly obvious.