To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

I don't understand people's issues with seeing bum cheeks tbh. They're just muscles covered in fat and skin. Like your arms or legs. I understand wanting genitals and anuses covered, yucky stuff comes out of them. But it's literally the exact same skin as on your legs.

OP…I wouldn’t have complained but I would have rolled my eyes hard at the sight. I generally do when I’m on holiday too. It’s done to attract attention and nothing more.

Buttocks aren't genitals though. They are literally just rounded masses of muscle and adipose tissue covered with skin. It's not like she had her bumhole on display.

Well to be fair the string of a thong (giving rise to the exposure of said skin and fat covered-muscle) doesn’t really do much to hold in any yucky stuff that might want to evacuate, does it?

Why do you care? I agree it is embarrassing to have complained. I would have thought privately probably that she looked out of place like that but to actually complain...

It's not the same thing. Both sexes have buttocks.

I absolutely hate these bikinis - even when I had a body that I could get away with wearing something similar, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to see a man in a thong either. It's bordering on obscene at a children's swimming class.

YANBU to think it's inappropriate but I wouldn't have complained.

I was somewhat with you until you used the word "prancing".

Both sexes have nipples, but it would be generally considered indecent for women to have theirs out at a kids swimming session.

Spend your time worrying about things that matter.

was there enough lifeguards? Did the emergency buttons work? Were the lifeguards attentive and trained and focussed?

none died because someone’s arse was hanging out but otoh…..

I think the female receptionist was spot on and love her attitude.

I think you bumped into my SIL 😁 she’s beautiful, a genuinely lovely person. We do encourage her to at least make sure you can’t see her individual labia. After that, if people don’t like how she looks, it’s their problem not hers.

and has no one ever had to see blokes in budgie smugglers?

You can’t argue that it was “full nudity.” 😅 That isn’t something that is up for debate. She was either nude or she wasn’t. In this case she wasn’t.

Don’t be so officious. Complaining about someone’s swimwear? 🙄 Seriously, don’t you have anything better to do with your time?

are you just acting naive 🤣

This is the latest in a series of threads about thongs…

There are bigger problems in the world to worry about than what a woman wears to swim in. Just don’t look if it bothers you so much

Would it be considered inappropriate for a man to wear something similar?

I think that’s your answer. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with a man wearing a thong and just about containing his testicles. So I think the same standards should apply to women.

Why is it different on holiday,,. There's still families in holiday resorts

But I really don't give a flying fig

I agree with you, we have recently been on holiday, and there was a woman wearing one of these costumes, honestly she was constantly walking up and down around the family pool talking on her phone, as proud as anything. My husband was asleep on a sun bed, I was just thinking please don’t wake up, imagine that sight being the first thing your eyes see.

But it's normal for men's nipples to be uncovered and for women's breasts and nipples to be covered. Buttocks are the same for both sexes.

You should be teaching your child not to be rude and comment on other people appearances.

O

Would he have been scarred for life?

There was a similar thread recently on this. Someone questioned whether it would be alright for men to show off their butt cheeks, would we complain if they did. There was much debate about whether a thong is a sexualised item of clothing. It was interesting, many different views on it.

I agree OP it crosses the line for me into indecent and I may not have complained myself but I think its no harm that you did. Having public decency standards isn't some sort of conservative attempt to restrict people's freedom of expression, it simply is about behaving in a civilised way in a way that makes everyone comfortable. There are many things that are acceptable in one environment but not another. Topless sunbathing was ok in the Riviera once upon a time, not at a Manchester bus stop. A skimpy dress is ok in a nightclub not in a church etc. Likewise a thong may ok in Marbella in July but is not acceptable in a pool with children.

I think the bigger issue here is:

My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were.

We should be empowering our children to wear what they like without judgement and prejudice. Particularly females who are often blamed for the appalling actions of others towards them because of what they chose to wear.

This is interesting, I am always complaining to DW and Dd (30) that gyms should ban women in bra/crop tops and micro shorts. They tell me vociferously that I'm a dinosaur and women can wear whatever they want. It's not for other people to police them.
FWIW Op, I'm with you.