To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

Well, people get to form judgments about pursed lips just as much as about skimpily-covered arses. And I'm judging you to be a very unpleasant person.

Not everything's about sexualisation, and if a woman's body being shown off/being noticeable and not suitably hidden away is sex to you, that says more about you tbh.

Same with the flasher in the park? Just because he doesn't feel the need to hide his body away, it's you and your obsession that is choosing to see any sexual links or motives?

Lovely though many of them are, that's one thing that I find a bit euw about dogs: the fact that they're basically walking around wherever they go with their anus exposed and coming into contact with any number of surfaces - but that is normal for dogs, who don't routinely wear clothes.

I cannot believe that we'd come to a point where intelligent human beings actually choose to be the same as dogs: to walk around with their bumholes open to the elements, visible to everybody nearby and directly touching anything they sit on or brush past.

I hate these swimsuits and find them really tacky and attention seeking. However YABU because I don’t see why people can’t wear them if they want to.

Schis kebab, you’re one shrill pearl clutcher

You’re not in charge of what’s empowering so sit down.

Women are allowed to speak and hold opinions as well as choosing to dress to a sexualised ideal.

'Shrill' is a highly misogynistic label to attach to a woman. Women are right to speak out against the pornification of their everyday lives.

Contrast it with male swimming costumes which have become larger over recent years.

It says they haven’t been brainwashed by the patriarchy into believing they have to dress a certain way, show off their body or be noticeable to be deemed of value

This snotty, superior attitude pisses me off much more than someone's arse cheeks on display.
That silly little women can't possibly think for themselves, that they have to have been brainwashed into thinking that they like what they like, what they feel comfortable in.
It's infantilizing, insulting. Patronising.
Either women have minds of their own or they don't.
Feminism my arse. no pun intended

Allow me to translate that for you.

"If you don't agree with me, you should sit down an shut up! Also, I have no counter arguments, so I can only respond with calling you a 'pearl-clutcher'"

Of course. You cared enough about the OP to respond, I responded to you. It’s how threads go. We all discuss our and other’s opinions.

Your opinion is prudish and you should be cooler 😎

Do ordinary men wear thongs to the swimming pool? No. They don’t. That’s usually a good test as to whether something is misogynistic or sexualised.

Yanbu op. But no minimum wage pool attendant is going to enforce modesty standards so I wouldn’t bother complaining. I would just teach my child that some women show their buttocks and look ridiculous because they don’t know any better.

No you are not being unreasonable. I don't understand why some ladies feel it's appropriate to have their full bottom on show in a public place

Read her post again. Not what happened, but you do you.

Aw, this thread is making me miss late-DM. Especially "prancing about... Like it was some sort of parade"

Isn't your bum hole nestled away between your buttocks? It usually requires manual exposure or contorting yourself to expose it, even in a thong. Christ I'm surprised you haven't been booted out the supermarket if you're routinely brushing past people like that 😁

I assume you have the same view towards women who ‘choose’ to wear a burqa ?

I’d have laughed too. She is clearly a bit of an exhibitionist, but who cares? It’s only butt cheeks! Good on her if she looked good - I wish I could still get away with a skimpy bikini, perhaps not a thong though 😂. You sound very prudish and it was absurd to complain.

You made me laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bumhole on show (aside from my dog obvs).

You read it again and then read your own response. You were deliberately insulting.

Unless there is an insistence on one piece costumes, no chance. And do that and the level of use of the pool would reduce.

You sound jealous. Who cares what she was wearing. It’s only a bum; it’s super embarrassing you complained 😂

Some people just don't have decorum.

I would just teach my child that some women show their buttocks and look ridiculous because they don’t know any better.

Explain please how teaching your child (boy?) to mock women for not dressing modestly enough is not misogynistic?

I very much suspect a few hairy backed marys have invaded this thread.

Can't think how it's obvious...

And I wonder what their motives could be...