To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

I think they are very common now, I’ve even seen young teen girls walk around with thong bikinis on holiday and at the local pool to the point you can see everything as those types never really contain anything especially if swimming/going on slides, I remember a young girl losing her g string bikini on holiday after going down a slide, she was mortified. I’d be constantly worried something like that would happen to me 🤣

id probably just roll my eyes and get on with my day, life is too short to worry about how much skin someone else is showing. That goes for if a man wants to wear a mankini or the tiniest of thongs too 🤣

Yeah no one's go to choice for practicality is a string chafing between their bum cheeks

Oh you’re so cool that you wouldn’t notice a thing, wish I was that cool. I’d think it was funny and gross and badly judged.

I think your Husband is a bit ridiculous for saying he’s embarrassed to be with you at the gym now. I wouldn’t complain I can kind of see your point.
Chasing a toddler/small human around, why would you want something that’s not hugely supportive of your bits? Bikini’s move, especially the smaller ones.
Unless she doesn’t intend to engage in the pool with her child, that’s a whole different conversation.

YABU, sorry. I’d maybe have been slightly surprised myself at a typical British swimming pool, rather than one on the continent - but thinking about it, why is it really a problem? It’s an arse, everyone has one. For most kids (and indeed a lot of adults), the sight of an almost bare bum when everyone else is more covered up is just going to cause giggles if they noticed it at all. It’s not going to horrify your children as it’s only sexual if it’s in a sexual context (rather than just swimming or walking around a public pool).

And yes, I feel the same about bare chests too - everyone has nipples as well. I wouldn’t want to show my bum or boobs to the world as societal influence has made me ashamed of their sagging. But I don’t think it’s at all a big deal if others do.

I am annoyed that nudity is now often so sexualised though. Maybe I’m just an old hippy/non-conformist but while I can perhaps see the logic of covering the genital area (for hygiene reasons if nothing else), I’ve never understood why the rest is mandatory for “modesty”, rather than just for personal preference. I personally prefer to cover my own upper arms and thighs too in public, even when swimming - but I don’t expect others to do the same!

YANBU - I don’t want to see strangers with their arses hanging out (male or female) anywhere, let alone at kids swimming session. Grim.

I hope you told your child in no uncertain terms never to point at people and ask questions about their appearance.

now THAT is completely unacceptable behavior and should be nipped in the bud right now.

What yucky stuff is coming out into the swimming pool? Blimey. A fully closed in bikini pant isn’t holding in faecal matter etc if that’s what you are referring to…

Because he is one?

I think a prance might be more bouncy? Or maybe she was letting out occasional ‘neighing’ sounds to give the impression she was a prancing horse?

Jealous of what?

Get a life ffs 🙄

You sound like a prude op. Fair play to this woman for embracing her body.

If it isn’t overtly sexual or exhibitionism, have a think about why we aren’t happy with our 5 year old boys wearing thong bikini bottoms.

As I mentioned have no issue with nudity per se. I would take kids to nude beaches and use same sex changing rooms. it’s this weird peekaboo style micro bikini that I think is deliberately sexual.

I think YABU to use the word ‘sphincter.’ 😂

Ignore. It's a standard go to at MN for some. Even if she would be obese with hémorroïdes visible beside the thong you are jealous for being bothered about it.
I would love to ban thongs everywhere except in the bedroom because I just hate seeing people's bum cheeks. But obviously I'm jealous...

It’s true that we probably shouldn’t be shocked by a very skimpy bikini - we all have bums after all! - but to be fair to OP, it’s about context. I remember seeing two young Italian women strutting around topless by the Thames riverside and it seemed really quite ‘wrong’ as most people around them were fully dressed etc. Whereas if we’d been on a European beach….

Equally, a thong bikini for a toddler swimming class just seems a bit inappropriate.

My son literally went straight in the pool I had to stop him from drowning as he went beyond his depth whilst I saved him in a pool full of families he decided to pull my whole tit out I was embarrassed more than anything was that inappropriate? I think you should be more focused on what your toddler is doing in the water than what someone is wearing. If you don't like it that's your valued opinion but it's appropriate for the leisure centre

Why do you care what my opinion is enough to make a sarky comeback? You cam have your own opinion.

It’s just a body, yes. But it’s always women in skimpy clothing, and not because it’s more practical. A grown woman showing her bottom to toddlers. And all women calling you jealous if you were to say anything. Huge society problem, created and encouraged by patriarchy, and not actually a result of women feeling confident.

No, course they wouldn't. Some would laugh at how ridiculous he looked. Others might think it was concerning for a man to wear revealing swim wear, which isn't really a thing for men in the UK, so would look suspect. You see, men are not women are they? There are different clothing trends, different swimwear expectations, and of course, different levels of likelihood they are going to be inappropriate. Trying to pretend it would be the same is pointless and silly.

A lot of parents wouldn’t let their 5 yo (boy or girl) wear a bikini at all, so I’m not sure that’s an appropriate benchmark.

I disagree. You can buy standard bikinis for 5 year olds. You cannot buy thong bikinis for 5 year olds. Why is that?

Again, sumo wrestlers. I don’t see anyone rioting at sumo wrestling stadiums about the male arse. Male arses are funny right? Women should be ashamed.

@Raven25

if her ladies areas and nipples were cover who do you think you are to judge others.
i think you are completely being unbelievable to complain.