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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

558 replies

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:48

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

OP posts:
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DrummingMousWife · 22/03/2025 13:50

I don’t think you are unreasonable. If a man walked around with his arse cut out of his shorts, every mum in the pool would be rioting ! People have to learn to reign in their need for constant attention.

Jshrbt · 22/03/2025 13:50

Sorry yes I think it’s pearl clutching; when you go on holiday with children you’ll see the same and I’m assuming you wouldnt complain on a holiday abroad? Also surely if you’re in the pool it’s only briefly when you’re getting in and out you’d see her bum.

blowingbubbles1 · 22/03/2025 13:51

You sound jealous…

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:51

Jshrbt · 22/03/2025 13:50

Sorry yes I think it’s pearl clutching; when you go on holiday with children you’ll see the same and I’m assuming you wouldnt complain on a holiday abroad? Also surely if you’re in the pool it’s only briefly when you’re getting in and out you’d see her bum.

She spent more time prancing around by the loungers on the side of the pool than actually in it, like it was some sort of parade..

OP posts:
AssassinsBlade · 22/03/2025 13:52

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:51

She spent more time prancing around by the loungers on the side of the pool than actually in it, like it was some sort of parade..

Oh for goodness sake 🙄

londongirl12 · 22/03/2025 13:52

Assuming her genitals were covered, then it’s not up to you to police how much bum cheek was on show. Sure there wasn’t a teeny bit of jealously there?

BarneyRonson · 22/03/2025 13:53

Yuck. People that don’t value a bit of discretion and style are ruling the roost. Vulgarity is having its day, it’s tedious isn’t it.

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:54

londongirl12 · 22/03/2025 13:52

Assuming her genitals were covered, then it’s not up to you to police how much bum cheek was on show. Sure there wasn’t a teeny bit of jealously there?

Jealous of not walking around wearing something which shows everyone what I had for breakfast? Absolutely not

OP posts:
Redpeach · 22/03/2025 13:54

Yeah its a bit much

Namerequired · 22/03/2025 13:54

It’s not for me and I would have raised an eyebrow, but I wouldn’t have complained.

mummyh2016 · 22/03/2025 13:54

YANBU to say it’s inappropriate however YABU to kick off about it. Who can be bothered.

ConnieSlow · 22/03/2025 13:55

Gross, totally inappropriate at a kids session or family area. It’s different being on holiday. She clearly wanted attention with her arse hanging out.

Titasaducksarse · 22/03/2025 13:55

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:54

Jealous of not walking around wearing something which shows everyone what I had for breakfast? Absolutely not

She probably didn't have breakfast if she's got the figure for something so skimpy...

EmberAsh · 22/03/2025 13:56

Everyone will defend this young woman and her right to have her arse hanging out but I guarantee if it had been a man in a thong or an obese woman they wouldn't be so thrilled to see it. We teach children that there are certain places on your body you don't show to strangers. I don't think it's a great message to send having your bum on show at a toddler session in the local pool.

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 13:56

It's only buttocks. We all have them. Nothing to get het up about.

Jshrbt · 22/03/2025 13:56

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:51

She spent more time prancing around by the loungers on the side of the pool than actually in it, like it was some sort of parade..

Sorry OP but I can’t say even that would have bothered me. I’d have raised an eyebrow but not complained. If she was showing off I’d have found it more funny than anything that she was trying to impress what I can only assume were other toddler dads

CatrionaBalfour · 22/03/2025 13:56

Just a thong? It's a bit much to have the boobs out, imo.
Women's clothing, especially swimwear, is very sexualised. Just watch today's athletics.

buyingnottingham · 22/03/2025 13:57

Get a grip and tell your child not to be so rude by pointing at people and commenting on their body or what they are wearing. Do you seriously think toddlers give a shit that someone is showing a bit of skin? Sounds like your attitudes are rubbing off on your child.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 22/03/2025 13:57

What’s your issue exactly? You think your DC will be traumatised by the sight of butt cheeks?

If you were on holiday and there were women ‘prancing’ about in thongs, what would you do?

londongirl12 · 22/03/2025 13:57

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:54

Jealous of not walking around wearing something which shows everyone what I had for breakfast? Absolutely not

I wouldn’t wear something like that either. But just roll your eyes and focus on what you’re there to do. If she’s attention seeking, well that’s up to her.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 22/03/2025 13:58

Well, I would cringe for her a bit but yabu to make a fuss. It's just a body.

Soontobe60 · 22/03/2025 13:59

I don’t want to see some strangers arse in a public pool when I take my grandchildren swimming. It’s exhibitionism as unnecessary. If I were on a beach, I would be able to move to a different area, or not go there at all. The local public pool - no thanks love. Oh and I’m bemused as to why women on MN are accusing someone of being jealous because they don’t want to see someone’s arse? Sounds like you’re being mean schoolgirls!

Soontobe60 · 22/03/2025 14:00

buyingnottingham · 22/03/2025 13:57

Get a grip and tell your child not to be so rude by pointing at people and commenting on their body or what they are wearing. Do you seriously think toddlers give a shit that someone is showing a bit of skin? Sounds like your attitudes are rubbing off on your child.

Would you feel the same if the person were topless? Or crotchless?

KellySeveride · 22/03/2025 14:02

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 13:56

It's only buttocks. We all have them. Nothing to get het up about.

All men have dicks but we’d soon be rioting if they were walking round a kids swimming session with them flopping out on show

coffeandbookstore · 22/03/2025 14:03

I think I’d have raised my inner eyebrow at her being only in a thong - it does feel a bit strange to be topless when kids are having swim classes, but I appreciate that’s probably quite a cultural subjective opinion and the same happens when we go abroad and I sit covering my cellulite with a beach dress and other women have the confidence to walk around in only a thong….I think I’d have used it as an opportunity to say everyone is different and likes to wear what they feel comfortable in. (While also thinking you couldn’t pay me enough to walk around in only a thong and topless!)