To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

I'm on the fence. I kind of agree with you (though I wouldn't have actually complained, just thought it to myself) but, at the same time, I think my issue with it comes from my psychological issues with my own body than from any logical reason why other women shouldn't be able to wear that if they want to. I am almost as horrified by the idea of wearing a one piece swimsuit in public. I'd never do it but it's perfectly acceptable swim clothing to 99.9% of people. The last time I had no choice but to swim I rocked up in a short sleeved leotard and knee length lycra dance skirt. My friends (probably rightly!) pissed themselves laughing!

I find this modern idea that the only bit of a woman that needs to be covered is her vulva, to be absurd. How have we got to this state?

Of course it’s gross to walk around with your bare arse hanging out. It’s not ‘confidence’, it’s porn culture.

Surely there has to be a sensible middle ground between full burqa, and ‘anything except your flaps’.

I actually do think there's no reason to wear a thong in an indoor communal swimming pool.

If someone wants a tan they can get naked in the tanning booth or go to the beach where arguable thongs are more acceptable. Not pleasing on the eye in many cases but still, it's a beach, it's sunny.

I would welcome a 'no thongs' rule in such an environment. If they have a huge market for thong wearers they could open up a specific paid session for them?
Beyond all else it's not necessary or comfortable and can only really be for exhibitionist reasons.

Wouldn't bother me, everyone to theirown... but then I grew up in a country where a body didn't always need to be covered from head to toe.

Sorry but you sound like a hater 🤷🏽‍♀️

Could never be this jealous to be honest. The fact that you took what the receptionist said so personally shows that your “outrage” is driven by your own deep insecurity.

This

Those of you assuming it’s jealousy… are you joking or trolling or genuinely as banal as you sound when you make such a trite response.

I like the idea above of images up of acceptable swimwear. I think I’m going to email their head office with this as a constructive suggestion. I probably won’t get anywhere, but there’s no harm in trying.

You know what isn’t pretty or appropriate?
Women bodyshaming other women. There was no “full nudity” and staff told you there was no issue.

The jealous comments - can someone please elaborate on what it is I am jealous of exactly? I’d love to know. My DH loves my figure but I don’t feel the need to parade it at a kids swimming class.

Dear God, girls being told by society that they should wear porn culture attire, is the opposite of empowering.

How the eff has feminism been so pornified that people make this argument?

Men’s clothing is practical, warm and comfortable.

Women’s often isn’t ( even the material is thinner). We aren’t the ones empowered by our clothing.

This^

How was I body shaming her? I didn’t comment on whether she had a nice body or not, I said her choice of attire was completely inappropriate.

Massive misinterpretation.

When this sort of thread is posted by someone with no posting history, I'm always a bit wary, and would recommend that people don't respond with stories of what they wear swimming, as there are people who would start threads like this hoping for that kind of information

Why, though? Why do you care what she wears?

Oh fgs. Live and let live. So long as she's not hurting any small children it really seems a bit of a non-issue. I don't like them, and my arse is certainly not for public viewing, but why the hell shouldn't she wear it if she wants to? Surely we want our daughters to understand that our bodies are our own to be dressed or undressed as we wish?

She'll probably stop wearing it after all the kids have sniggered and pointed out they can see her bottom.

You do you! That’s great!
But she’s NOT you and I find the “parading” more likely to be projection from you because you don’t approve of her attire.

Other mum’s what?

<gimmer> I watched love island with dd and was absolutely goggling. I'm unlikely to be on a pool holiday any time soon, but I would find it excruciating to be surrounded by people with string up their bum - not only because it feels really really weird to me to be able to see the entirety of someones arse, given the social norms that still pertain, but also because.. they've got string up their bum.

String, up their bum.

All the cool girls will be telling you how nothing bothers them, and they are totally okay with their children being shown unsolicited body parts usually kept covered.

Until some one decides that showing isn’t enough, and wants touching…. There’s a good reason for boundaries around children.

I probably would have clutched my pearls a bit internally but wouldn't have complained about it

I think it's rather OTT and attention seeking for a swimming lesson with kids. But up to the venue to enforce any rules.