To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

[Raven25]

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

I mean, nobody wants to go to the leisure centre to be full mooned by an exhibitionist. It's grotty

Must be an exhibitionist. She probably knew it wasn't appropriate, but wanted to show her arse off, regardless!

Strange response from Your DH. Why would he be embarrassed?

“shows everyone what I had for breakfast?” 😂😂😂 not heard anyone outside my grandmother’s age say that. Would I wear a thong? No. Would I stress about someone else wearing one? No. Get a grip. I grew up going on holidays to the Mediterranean where most women wore thongs and no top, I don’t think I’m damaged by the experience.

I think the answers you would get from the bathing public would depend on the attractiveness of the person wearing the thing unfortunately. If she’s an overweight 89 year old man then it’s obviously disgusting and shouldn’t be allowed, if she’s slim and attractive then you are obviously a jealous old bag. It’s impossible to comment on other people’s clothes, most people wouldn’t find it appropriate to swim with their baby in a thong bikini but unless she is in there naked then you won’t win this one.

It really isn’t.

We should be empowering our children to critically analyze where the influences ain women’s clothing choices are coming from, how these compare to men’s and what all this is really saying about how society views women.

Banal ‘woo! Do what culture tells you to without thinking’ is not empowerment. It’s the very opposite of empowerment. In fact, it tells you how women are not empowered, if hanging our arses out at a child’s swimming pool is considered ‘ empowerment for women’.

Wtaf are you on about? You appear to be making a connection between a woman wearing a thong to therefore potentially being a child abuser? Is that really how your mind works?

👍

With toddlers and young children they don't really have that same awkwardness about bodies and are used to being undressed around adults (potty training, nappy changes, even just stripping off entirely in the changing rooms). I'm surprised your daughter said anything to be honest. In a young session they'd usually be several mums around breastfeeding. It wouldn't bother me. I feel like in a general swim session it is more inappropriate as young teens/ preteens can feel quite uncomfortable, but I'd still never say anything.

Personally I never wear anything less than a modest one piece, but that's just me as I'm quite conservative. I don't worry what others wear though - if they want to wear a thong I wouldn't complain. I think it's unreasonable to complain, she wasn't hurting anyone.

I think it’s revolting when someone wears a full flowing set of clothes to a pool but it’s allowed.

Swimwear is meant to be minimal. It’s only a bottom. We’ve all got one 🤷🏼‍♀️

100% this

I think there should be some standards about decency and lines drawn. I agree with the previous poster who asked if it would be hooray for body positivity if it was an old man showing everything he had or the woman wasn’t so young slender and attractive?

I suppose this makes a change from the usual ‘inappropriate’ teenager in a thong posts from our friendly resident thong pervert.

@Raven25 I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

Joins husband with the embarrassing wife.😧

Perhaps teach your child not to point? 😅

Yeh that’s none of your business and you sound like a giant prude, I’m with the younger girl, glad women can wear what they like when they like. You telling me an extra few inches of a bum is offensive now? I mean if her vulva was on display maybe a different matter.

And the word parade! That's the language my 70 year old Nan used to use in the 70s..."Prancing around like it's a fashion parade" 😆

Me and my kids would have pissed ourselves laughing if we’d seen this. Complain? No. Laugh? Hell yes.

When we lived in France the ladies in the swimming pool were often topless. I found it hard not to stare but my Mum explained that it was just normal there and we got on with it. It was quite funny though.

Then more recently as an adult, I went to a swimming pool with a Norwegian friend. When we were in the communal showers she suddenly took her costume right off and carrried on talking to me quite normally. I was very surprised about that, but I think it's just a different cultural norm.

I would prefer people were covered up tbh, but sometimes they're not.

I grew up going on holidays to the Mediterranean where most women wore thongs and no top, I don’t think I’m damaged by the experience

Mmm. But a holiday to the med isn't the same as your local leisure centre. There are different levels of appropriate dress depending on your location.

Topless on a beach in the med when there's a practical reason for it (heat/suntan) - meh. Topless in your local LC, surrounded by toddlers doing a swim class? Not great. Topless walking down the highstreet? Arrested.

Arse or tits on display in your local pool is just fucking grim.

People! This isn’t real.

@Chuchoter if someone chooses to dress in a way that stands out, it makes them more noticeable, so people will look. It doesn’t make them creeps.

My bum cheeks are usually out in my swimming costume but that's because I have a rather large bottom that tends to eat my swimming costume. Your son would be traumatised by that 😂

I just checked and nudity is only illegal if it is done to intentionally cause distress.