To think that BIL has serious problems?

[arcticpandas]

My sister confided in me last night and obviously I can't talk about this irl but would still like to have people's takes on this.
Background: They both work ft, two kids (school age), not wealthy but not poor. BIL is quite rigid but always polite and generous for gifts for birtdays in the family.
BIL does the weekly grocery shop (he has always insisted on doing this acc. to sis). Now he has admitted that he doesn't pay for all the groceries (selfscan). They were having an argument about money/spendings this week and he told her that he was doing loads to save on spendings. I was quite surprised when my sis told me because I always had him down as a "rule-follower" but this itself didn't seem to bother my sis so much her argument being that they can never prove he didn't "forget" to scan. The worst to her was that he kept a fucking log on how much they had saved due to his "forgetfulness" eg stealing per week/month/year!!! I mean, who does this!!!??? Imagine the time it must have taken him, and why? Like a serial killer keeping souvenirs. I told my sister that I couldn't come over to theirs this Saturday because I just can't stand to face BIL right now. I mean I will be able to see him later but I need to digest.
My sister got all mad at me and said hurtful things about my DH and that if I didn't come this Saturday I don't ever have to bother.
Should I suck it up and go although I can't stand to look at BIL right now (AIBU) or am I justified in wanting some time to digest this before I see him again (AINBU)?

😂I was ‘brought up’ by pretty horrible people and even I know stealing is wrong. Go figure.

Sorry, the Centre for Retail Research is spreading misinformation via the BBC? 🙈

No- it’s your article- you do some research and find out. How would I know? It’s just an industry think tank. It’s not up to me to research the links you post to prove things, as you well know

Do you not understand the point of think tanks? Do you think they have access to tescos pricing modelling teams?

Well, I have posted something that makes a claim (not ‘my’ article, incidentally: a BBC article). You have said that claim isn’t true. Of course you don’t have to prove it’s untrue. You don’t have to do anything; it’s a MN thread. But you do look rather silly if you can’t, especially as you’ve made previous claims to some expertise in this area. As far as I can see I’m the only one of us who has produced anything even resembling evidence thus far. I asked you before for evidence of your own claims. You didn’t feel able to oblige.

If you don’t know if and how they are arriving at figures spuriously, and can’t offer proof that they are, then perhaps it’s best not to make the implication.

You and I have been down this road already, and it’s pretty obvious that, for whatever reason, you are determined to insist that shoplifting costs us nothing. I don’t know why that is; it seems a strange crusade to me, but you’re in charge of your own destiny. So I’ll say thank you again for the discussion, and leave the link which OP can research if she feels so inclined.

Are you suggesting that economic data that we make our projections on is spreading misinformation? That’s deep for mumsnet

why do you think this is economic data we use to project spending? It couldn’t be further from it 🤣

and this is why there is no point in this conversation. You clearly know nothing about the ways these things work or are used. It’s bold to argue a point you know zero about, I’ll give you that. Economic spending data 😭😭

why are you so bold to assume I have no knowledge of economics?

Because you think a sound bite from a research tank is “economic data used to make projections” when it clearly isn’t?

I’m not wasting my time talking with you. Am I to assume you work in a supermarket and are taking umbridge with the fact that you make your own pricing information and are not influenced by an economic think tank. Crack on. I personally feel that the economists hired by by the think tanks are just slightly more prestigious than the supermarket staff who probably use external consultancy firms to write their models for them

Oh for gods sake. Even if the consultants pricing models are wrong, that’s WHAT THEY CHARGE THE CUSTOMER.

How can a think tank claim that they know how much supermarkets increase their costs by better than the supermarket? Just use some basic critical thinking.

the think tank (it’s not an economic think tank) aren’t even claiming what you think they are. they don’t have economists. You’re not even doing a minutes research into it. The link that you posted.

I didn’t post any link 🤷‍♀️

Ah it’s the other water thing then. Your posts are blending in.
So you presumably know even less than them about the centre for retail research yet you’re still here, making things up as you go along

I think what he's doing is wrong, and his chart is pathetic. He could get caught. They do have additional cameras and if he's found with his spreadsheet he could get in more trouble, certainly a shop ban.

I don't think its the same as serial killer and souvenirs though and I wouldn't alienate your sister who sounds like she is equally distressed by his behaviour.

Disgusted is a push OP surely?!

That smacks of being a cowardly snitch. And your sister told you in confidence because she trusts you.

Funny. Only today R4 program about shoplifting. Shop staff reporting that it is mainly the middle classes who shoplift as it is treated as a game to spice up and later laugh over what is otherwise a boring shopping experience.

OPs bil and sister are in this category.

OPs sister made her choice and I wouldn’t want to be associated with it and them. I couldn’t get over the arrogance particularly as it is the poor and their children who are cannot afford rising food prices and suffer as a consequence.

I would be saying this to the thoughtless horrible pair.

God, he'll be an utter pain to manage when he gets caught. Pedantic man, logging how much money he is stealing and he has made it OK in his head.

Urgh. It’s might have, not might of.

it only sounds like might of because what you’re actually saying is might’ve (might have). Why people can’t understand English grammar is beyond me

@Waterballoons, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Capital letters and punctuation seem beyond you.

Oh really? Where? I’ll gladly correct if indeed there are errors

I think I’d file this into the not my problem folder and forget about it.

@Waterballoons, in your pp there should be punctuation after ‘me’ and ‘it’ needs a capital I. Your last post should have punctuation after ‘errors’ as well. Other posts earlier on this thread are also missing punctuation. For example, a full stop at the end of sentences in posts yesterday at 18:45, 18:47, 21:57 and today at 07:46, 11:14, 12:23.

Totally disagree, this is disgusting your BIL is not just stealing from Tesco, etc from all of us who are paying the inflated price due to so many shoplifters who get away with it. I hope he gets caught soon and would have nothing to do with your Sis as she condones it, if not, she would shop herself and pay for all the shopping like all of us do. If you continue visiting them you are condoning it too.

As a retail worker I certainly would appreciate a call to the store to be informed of this man's theft. Ask to speak to the manager and let them sort it out.