Cafe humiliation

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Took my DD (hardworking mum to my 2 DGC) for lunch in a very nice local cafe (pink tea pots, fresh roses on the tables) as a treat.
Lunch menu looked nice. We ordered and I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac. I am in fact, coeliac and she said then informed me that I would need to sign something first. Honestly, I thought it was a joke but she came back with a large clipboard and an A4 sheet of paper and pen and asked me to have it signed by the time she returned; she was not going to take the order until this was done.
I sat staring at the paperwork wondering of this was for real. The paperwork was a disclaimer that if the cafe should inadvertantly slip me anything gluten laden then they would keep this piece of paper with my "consent" at the risks therein.
Several ladies having tea and lunches were staring at me and DD when the waitress came back; she was astonished that I hadn't signed their form yet. I just wanted to have a nice salad lunch with my daughter to treat her without having some jobsworth make me out to be some sort of liability to them. DD said it had sucked the good vibe right out and she was absolutely right.
So the waitress then asked why I wouldn't sign. I had to explain (calmly but upset) that I had hoped for kinder and far more inclusive customer service instead of singling me out and making me "other" whilst their diners looked on wondering why I was having to sign their paperwork before anyone was willing to serve us. She said, no, it's not like that - but I had to explain again that their paperwork was not to caring for the customer it was them covering their back against me if they were to make a mistake. Although I previously liked the cafe very much, DD and I left.
I'm a woman of the world and a solo traveller too. I have a happy go lucky nature but today...I really felt humiliated. AIBU?

I'd leave an honest review.
That's a ridiculous carry on and really rubbish customer service.

I’m gluten intolerant (though not diagnosed coeliac) and have been for almost 20 years. I’ve noticed a recent rise in the number of places asking which I am. I tell the truth, so maybe they would be bringing out the clipboard if I were fully coeliac. I suppose it’s the rise in litigious culture and risk aversion that’s driving this, but I’m with you, OP, I would find this very embarrassing and leave if I could do so without inconveniencing others. Poor you, how horrible.

This is becoming more prevalent.
I had to sign an iPad for a bit of herb butter in miller & carter! 🙄

It’s really embarrassing. It’s awkward enough having to ask for gluten free options without being put on the spot as well

I had the iPad thing too in a Toby carvery and the wifi didn't reach the bit of the pub we were in so it took ages!

Agree with PP, leave an honest review. They are clearly doing it to cover themselves should they make a mistake. This in itself would make me not want to eat there as it sounds like they aren't confident in themselves dealing with allergens.

They are being overly cautious and you are being ridiculous.

No-one's humiliating you.

They wanted you to sign a disclaimer that they wouldn't be liable if they gave you gluten, after you made it clear you are gluten free? Like a "eat at your own risk".

I think that needs to be flagged via review.

Good god I'm coeliac and I didn't know this was happening (too skint to eat out ATM) but WTF?? I wouldn't have signed either

Why? Everyone who eats out eats at their own risk. Yes OP might ask for gluten free and as much as some places really do try their is always a risk of cross contamination and anyone who eats out takes that risk

No way should you have signed that! I’m not sure humiliated sounds what I’d expect my reaction to be but just that it sounds dangerous - I wouldn’t trust them to get it right if they did this.

It would have done you no harm to sign the form

I bet you are glad that there are now processes and protections in place for people with allergies right?

So then don’t complain when those processes come with additional precautions

I think you’re overreacting but it’s perfectly reasonable that you left and won’t go back.

Having worked in catering and having a best friend with a child newly diagnosed with coeliacs, I can see both sides.

Yes, you found it embarassing but you are not being 'othered' or 'singled out' as all patrons who declare an allergy or intolerance will likely be given the same form to sign. Its not discrimination. They could maybe have been more subtle though. People staring is just odd.

Small cafes probably have small prep/storage areas where cross contamination may not be able to be avoided. The cafe is protecting itself against any potential legal action. As a potentially small/independent business, they can't afford to be dragged through court over gluten or any other allergy or intolerance.

Its not personal. Its a risk you can choose whether or not to take. They have the right to protect themselves.

This.

These days there’s so many different allergies and intolerances it must be really hard for places like this to be able to accommodate so many different requirements. Could have been handled more sensitively but it must be really difficult for small establishments keeping up with every dietary need imaginable. I can well imagine if they are busy it must be near impossible to rule out every means of cross contamination in a relatively small kitchen. A lot of food intolerances are more related to modern society. Eating out used to be so much simpler. We didn’t need disclaimers years ago and customers weren’t dropping like flies all over the place before.

I would've just sucked it up and signed, instead you let it ruin your day (assuming after seeing they have a disclaimer you were going to eat there anyway). Obviously something has happened for them to now do this, so I'd blame whatever that was - no doubt some complaining customer threatening them or something.

I have a son with allergies & have not personally come across this!

However I saw this post by the Natasha’s Foundation the other day so it it looks like it’s becoming a thing! As they say in the post it’s a cop out rather than training staff and ensuring good practice!

www.instagram.com/p/DHVXYeMiV78/?igsh=djdhYmczYzB4NXJ5

They’ve obviously had people try to sue them in the past and now need to protect themselves. I would have just quietly signed the paperwork and not given it a second thought or given anyone anything to stare at.

Well done you for not signing! Any reputable business would have rigorous processes in mind to ensure no cross contamination for allergens, it's a part of their obligations under EHO, which was made much stricter after that poor girl died as a result of her Prett sandwich which was incorrectly labelled. I'm sorry your experience was so rubbish but you absolutely did the right thing in not giving them your business.

That isn't remotely humiliating.

It is, however, ridiculous of the restaurant and not legally enforceable if it was found they didn't take reasonable steps to ensure no gluten in your food.

There is always a risk of cross contamination. I can understand why cafes are very cautious. Allergy rules are very strict.

I really don’t think they can change their duty of care to you by getting you to sign something like this. It’s pretty awful that they asked you to sign it.

I think loads of places are doing this now. You can see why it started though. People have died after being served food they are allergic to.

My DS has allergies but we always have his EpiPen and he sticks to food we know is safe.
For years we ate in a local cafe without issue.

It then got taken over but we saw no reason to be concerned.

We went in and ordered breakfast as usual. They asked if anyone had any allergies and we said, yes DS but that's OK as we've ordered the breakfast and those are all safe foods.

Waitress says she will be back in a bit so we assume she means with drinks/food.

Another lady came over to the table after about 5 minutes. Looked pretty pissed off

She didn't even introduce herself just days "I understand one of your party has allergies so we will not be serving you today."

No sorry, no explanation. I said to her that we had ordered food he was fine with but she cut me off and said "I'm sorry madam but we reserve the right to decline service and I must ask you to leave".

We were so embarrassed and DS, who was 10 at the time, was sobbing. We had never had someone react like that ever.

I reviewed them and said what happened but they responded that they stood by their decision. Eventually it went in the local paper as they did the same to another family.

The cafe lasted 6 months and was closed again. Frankly they deserved it.

They’ve probably been told to do that by their insurance company who do everything they can to avoid paying out for a claim - just another nail in the coffins of small business