Cafe humiliation

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Took my DD (hardworking mum to my 2 DGC) for lunch in a very nice local cafe (pink tea pots, fresh roses on the tables) as a treat.
Lunch menu looked nice. We ordered and I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac. I am in fact, coeliac and she said then informed me that I would need to sign something first. Honestly, I thought it was a joke but she came back with a large clipboard and an A4 sheet of paper and pen and asked me to have it signed by the time she returned; she was not going to take the order until this was done.
I sat staring at the paperwork wondering of this was for real. The paperwork was a disclaimer that if the cafe should inadvertantly slip me anything gluten laden then they would keep this piece of paper with my "consent" at the risks therein.
Several ladies having tea and lunches were staring at me and DD when the waitress came back; she was astonished that I hadn't signed their form yet. I just wanted to have a nice salad lunch with my daughter to treat her without having some jobsworth make me out to be some sort of liability to them. DD said it had sucked the good vibe right out and she was absolutely right.
So the waitress then asked why I wouldn't sign. I had to explain (calmly but upset) that I had hoped for kinder and far more inclusive customer service instead of singling me out and making me "other" whilst their diners looked on wondering why I was having to sign their paperwork before anyone was willing to serve us. She said, no, it's not like that - but I had to explain again that their paperwork was not to caring for the customer it was them covering their back against me if they were to make a mistake. Although I previously liked the cafe very much, DD and I left.
I'm a woman of the world and a solo traveller too. I have a happy go lucky nature but today...I really felt humiliated. AIBU?

We’ve had this a couple of times for DC with peanut allergy.
Where possible we go somewhere else because it makes me lose confidence in them.

The fact that people need to sign papers just to access food that meets their dietary requirements is completely unacceptable and frankly, disrespectful. Food should be accessible to everyone, regardless of allergies, intolerances, or health conditions. Why should someone be made to feel uncomfortable or different just to eat? Imagine navigating this with autism or other mental health issues. This isn’t about special treatment; it’s about basic human decency. We need to create a more inclusive and understanding food environment for everyone. This discriminatory practice needs to end.

If someone with a coeliac condition came into your kitchen, could you guarantee that there wouldn't be cross-contamination? Could you hand-on-heart swear that there is no chance of just a crumb accidentally making its way into their food? I doubt you could unless you set up a completely separate kitchen area. This is what it's like for lots of small cafes. They simply don't have the space to be able to make guarantees like that. It's nothing to do with respect, or decency, it's practicalities and space.

I have a coeliac friend. I do my best to cater for her when she visits. Likewise, she knows this, so if she accidentally got sick, she would know I did my best and not sue me. Unfortunately, it's not the same when eating out. Cafe's and service establishments get sued on a regular basis. They have to be able to protect themselves.

That's nice to hear. I've passed Wagamamas a few times and wondered if they were safe. I might just give them a try.
I eat out rarely now due to Coeliac. I will drink tea or cold drinks in places that offer Oatmilk coffee I used to like a milky coffee but, as they can only wipe the milk steamer so it will be contaminated with non gluten free oats.
As years go by with no gluten in my diet, I react more severely than before diagnosis.
I used to only have no obvious symptoms after eating gluten.

I can, most meals are GF in my house. We clean again if Dd cooks something non GF. Everything runs through the dishwasher.
We now have dairy free meals for DiL too.

No, you can't.

There are entirely too many ppl on this thread who've not the first clue about how professional/commercial small kitchens work. Just none at all. I'll ALWAYS check if a 'no dairy/gluten/etc' request is a preference, intolerance or allergy (inc coeliacs) because in the case of an allergy I can't even prepare dishes next to one another. Not really even at the same time! I've got to have a completely clean area.

I have to know which of all my ingredients are 'made in a factory that..' & which dishes they are in.

When the EHO visit, this is what they want to know - what the conv is with the customer, what measures you take etc etc.

Ultimately, your safety is being put in our hands - quite literally your life in some cases! A good kitchen will take that incredibly seriously & I can understand the desire for paperwork that shows the customer was happy to take the risks, no matter how low they are.

@MrsCarson I’m the same.

I had zero syntoms before diagnosis. After cutting out gluten, my god, if I get glutened, it’s horrific. It’s a very specific feeling, not just the gastric symtoms, but the brain fog, the joint pain, it all lasts for days. The last time I it happened, I felt like I was dying. I don’t generally eat anything I’ve not cooked myself (or dh has cooked) in our own kitchen, which isn’t a completely gf kitchen, but we are very careful and it becomes second nature, but I have eaten at Wagamama as couple of times and felt safe.

I go out with friends and I just don’t eat while everyone else does. I’m so used to it now. It’s not worth the risk to me, and I would never eat at someone else’s house, I do warn people (in a nice way!) to go to any effort for me as I don’t take risks and it’s a complete ball ache for them.

Please explain how you would run a cafe that caters for all allergies and conditions.

When you buy ingredients from a shop there is no legal requirement for them to include a “may contain” statement. Many suppliers don’t bother. So for you to know this information you would need to be calling up each individual supplier to check.

While it’s absolutely sensible for you to check if the customers have an intolerance or an allergy I do think you are exaggerating how much of an imposition it is for you. If you can handle not contaminating meals with raw fish or raw chicken then you ought to be able to do the same with any allergen.

It would be because I bet somones complained this way Thier covering their arse so they can't get sued

Nonsense. Much easier to make sure raw chicken isn't contaminating foods than to make sure there are no sulphites in anything you're serving.

This.
Either the place selling food can handle allergies properly with trained staff and dedicated equipment, and care or they can’t.
if they can, there’s no need for a humiliating form filling
if they can’t they need to blazen it across their shop with “we can’t deal with allergies without the risk of killing you and we won’t take that responsibility legally”.
then people can walk out before they even sit down

They’re hedging their bets and abdicating responsibility for cocks up , yes we can, but , but, but…. It is a cop out. Either do it properly or not at all .

not sure whether that then lays them open to disability discrimination!

yes, appreciate it is a pain in backside for eateries. But not following correct labelling literally kills people. Sadly.

But they absolutely can be sued. A waiver like this has no legal basis - the food establishment has a legal responsibility to keep the customer safe and if they can’t guarantee that then they refuse service and explain why. They can’t push the responsibility back onto the customer, and quite honestly l wouldn’t sign a waiver because l would take it as a giant red flag that l was about to be compromised.

What?
all ingredients used by have their own labels of ingredients form their suppliers, who have their ingratiated in raw materials etc

we could do it in food manufacturing, we could do it in pharma. Restaurants have supply chains too- it is not rocket science.

I worked in supply chains, seriously, it is definitely not rocket science.

we’re not tlaking about your personal kitchen. Even their you can read the back of a packet I assume?

Ha at you trying to be condescending while showing yourself to not have a clue what you're on about.

“for you to know this information you would need to be calling up each individual supplier to check.”

yep. Exactly what does need to happen. That’s what happens in food manufacturing, and pharma industries. It ain’t difficult. Most businesses work with validated suppliers. Even if it’s the local farmer, the lady who makes the Jams etc etc. businesses should have relationships with their suppliers even if it’s Heinz.

serously, this is simple stuff. Why would you serve something to your customers family, child, old person, or random stranger where you have no idea what the ingredients contain?

A food establishment doesn’t need to be run that way. There is a list of allergens and intolerances that all food establishments should be aware of and familiar with. If a customer declares an allergy or intolerance then they should be able to say whether or not they can guarantee their safety. If they can’t then they refuse service. Presenting the customer with a waiver is an indication that they know they’re putting you at risk. I’d walk out before l’d sign. Waivers don’t mean a thing in law and they won’t prevent a customer taking legal action. The responsibility is on the food establishment, not the customer.

Did you read the post I was replying to?

Reading comprehension is so dire on this site.

Cafes are not specialists in your health and the intensity of your intolerance/allergy. Therefore the cafe can't decide whether the level of contamination which is a risk at their place is acceptable or not.

They can openly inform you about the procedures and level of separation and you need to decide what is ok for you.

Is a single speck of flour powder too much? You need establishment with separate kitchens. Do you need to be mostly free from? Clean utensils should be fine.

I take it this comment is tongue in cheek.

Or that the gluten flour you used to make seitan, or wheat flour you used to make cake haven't 'floofed' all around the kitchen. Or that the dairy free spread has only EVER been used with a clean utensil. Or that the dairy free ingredients are always separate in the fridge. Or that the oil you're frying seafood in doesn't spit near any other ingredients etc etc

@muggart So you think I shouldn't take seriously cross contamination of allergens for customers who risk anaphylaxsis - who I have multiple of cos I do my absolute best. You don't think someone with a severe allergy should have their food made in a clean area? You think the EHO agree with you that I shouldn't know which ingredients contain which allergens? That there's a difference between things being labelled 'GF' & ones just not containing gluten? Or that my suppliers shouldn't my spices when things have been produced in a factory that processes nuts?

That I shouldn't inform the customer where there is risk & they can decide themselves?

There's a specific (and thankfully rare) allergy I couldn't ever risk cooking for, but otherwise I will do my best, every time.

I hope you don't work in hospitality.

Signing a disclaimer is not a precaution , there are covering their arse if they feck up. I don't think for one minute anyone who is gluten intolerant would sign this as you are basically saying - go ahead, don't use your due diligence and if you make me really ill, its not your fault. I would have called them out very loudly on it and I would also report them to the environmental health department. I wonder if they do the same for nut allergy's. I cannot see a judge agreeing with this, I am sure it would not stand up in court. Name and shame on socials. Also, I thought all ingredients had to be listed on menus, and they had to be adhered to.

Nothing wrong with my reading comprehension thanks. This was your question:

Please explain how you would run a cafe that caters for all allergies and conditions.

To which my reply was appropriate - explaining that they didn’t need to cater for all allergies when the FSA recommends refusing service if they can’t guarantee customer safety. A waiver doesn’t cut it and wouldn’t stand up in court because the responsibility is on the food establishment, not the customer.

I didn’t say they were specialists or needed to be. But by law they should be aware of the allergens and if they can’t keep you safe, should refuse service rather than getting the customer to sign a meaningless waiver that won’t prevent legal action in the event of an incident. That’s FSA advice.

Absolute nonsense

Why would the OP sign a form that releases them from any obligation if she becomes seriously ill as a result of their mistake?