Cafe humiliation

[Skyview7]

Took my DD (hardworking mum to my 2 DGC) for lunch in a very nice local cafe (pink tea pots, fresh roses on the tables) as a treat.
Lunch menu looked nice. We ordered and I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac. I am in fact, coeliac and she said then informed me that I would need to sign something first. Honestly, I thought it was a joke but she came back with a large clipboard and an A4 sheet of paper and pen and asked me to have it signed by the time she returned; she was not going to take the order until this was done.
I sat staring at the paperwork wondering of this was for real. The paperwork was a disclaimer that if the cafe should inadvertantly slip me anything gluten laden then they would keep this piece of paper with my "consent" at the risks therein.
Several ladies having tea and lunches were staring at me and DD when the waitress came back; she was astonished that I hadn't signed their form yet. I just wanted to have a nice salad lunch with my daughter to treat her without having some jobsworth make me out to be some sort of liability to them. DD said it had sucked the good vibe right out and she was absolutely right.
So the waitress then asked why I wouldn't sign. I had to explain (calmly but upset) that I had hoped for kinder and far more inclusive customer service instead of singling me out and making me "other" whilst their diners looked on wondering why I was having to sign their paperwork before anyone was willing to serve us. She said, no, it's not like that - but I had to explain again that their paperwork was not to caring for the customer it was them covering their back against me if they were to make a mistake. Although I previously liked the cafe very much, DD and I left.
I'm a woman of the world and a solo traveller too. I have a happy go lucky nature but today...I really felt humiliated. AIBU?

I would think with the best will in the world there’s always going to be a risk of cross-contamination in a busy working kitchen. It’s not a controlled, sterile environment.

The disclaimer probably just said something similar to what you were told verbally - no big deal.

But people will sue and say they didn't see it on the menu.

do they advertise that they are gluten free? If not then I imagine that is why they tried to get you to sign it, you can’t as a coeliac go to a place that serves gluten and then expect for them to guarantee a gluten free meal because of cross contamination? I’m not sure on the legal aspects of that because there isn’t a legal requirement for them to cater to allergies.

To all these people saying you overreacted Op: Imagine going into a fish restaurant and having to sign a disclaimer before eating any shellfish that if you become ill from a bad mussel you won’t sue… it’d probably put you right off your meal eh?

I am also celiac and that’s what this form signing would do for me. I’d lose faith in the establishment and the chefs.

Sorry you had such a crap time OP! Wherever possible I phone restaurants in advance to make sure they’re happy to cater for me because I hate loads of fuss at the table. So many people these days are gluten intolerant or celiac that I don’t think it’s too hard a request to accommodate (unless it’s somewhere with a lot of flour in the air like a pizzeria or bakery).

This.

DS is coeliac.
If he was asked to sign a form like that we’d assume the restaurant wasn’t being careful enough. And leave.

Customers often say they are okay with traces. But what if those traces made them really ill? Not a risk a lot of cafes would like to make under the current laws about allergies in the hospitality industry. .

Coming from a food safety perspective (my former career prior to having children), which included allergen management, I'm fairly sure their disclaimer would not have been legally enforceable.

Catering establishments have to adhere to strict allergen management procedures, this isn't something they can do half-heartedly. Giving allergen sufferers disclaimer forms is not ok.

I would report them to trading standards and environmental health.

You did the right thing by refusing to sign and walk out. As an allergy sufferer myself, I would lose all trust in an establishment who attempted to absolve themselves from any responsibility over allergen cross-contamination - regardless of whether it was legally binding or not.

I’m coeliac too. I don’t eat out now as I can’t be arsed with the risks of cross contamination and I REALLY can’t be fucked with the “coeliac speech” I have to do before ordering, it’s tedious.

I wouldn’t want to sign anything. To me, it’s them saying they are lax with cross contamination and sign this so you have no comeback.

YANBU. Sadly some ill-thought out replies here.

Food establishments do not have any reason to ask you to sign a disclaimer.

I always refuse and have still been served in restaurants.

I think the FSA (Food Standards Agency) or local environmental health like to be advised when establishments try the old “sign this waiver” trick.

Most Coeliacs can’t risk cross contamination as it would make them feel really unwell for a day or two. But it’s not potentially fatal like a peanut allergy could be.

Awful customer service. I can totally understand how embarrassing that would be. Are you on any Coeliac groups? I would share your experience there if so so nobody else has the same horrible experience.

Honest review and I'm tbh shocked. They refusing to take responsibility for what they serve. A cafe to totally avoid and you need to warn others. Can you report to trading standards

I have a few things to add. I have a number of allergies - coeliac is one.

In terms of absolving themselves of the right to be sued for negligence - you can’t actually waive your right to this. If you had a peanut allergy, and you identified yourself as such, and they put peanuts in your food and you died, this piece of paper wouldn’t help them.

HOWEVER - you have to risk assess the situation yourself. There will ALWAYS be the risk of cross contamination in any kitchen which isn’t fully gluten free, so that in itself is somewhat of a red herring for a coeliac.

For me, I judge it on how aware of and how seriously a place seems to take food allergies and how knowledgable the serving staff are. It’s very obvious, very quickly. We have politely left many places - if I don’t feel comfortable, I won’t eat there.

Coeliac is very serious and cross contamination is an issue, but you also have to be rational. It’s not airborne. If I had an airborne allergy, I wouldn’t eat anywhere that couldn’t guarantee no cross contamination. If I had anaphylactic reactions, I certainly wouldn’t, and to be honest I probably wouldn’t even eat out.

You have to ask them specifically whether they use a shared fryer - that’s the thing that often does get forgotten by staff. Shouldn’t, but does.

In terms of them humiliating you with this clipboard and sheet to sign - they are showing themselves up, not you. They have tried to ‘cover all bases’ in terms of litigation, and just failed. It just makes them look ill educated, and a bit silly!

If they don’t feel that they can safely prepare food for people with allergies, then they shouldn’t do so. I understand it can feel awful, I’ve been there myself - but ultimately, these chefs and waiters are potentially playing with people’s lives and being paid little more than minimum wage for it. If I couldn’t be certain, I wouldn’t serve me either - it’s their conscience involved if they get it wrong - and more importantly it’s someone’s life. If they have a small kitchen serving mostly sandwiches or fresh pizzas for example, the place will be full of allergens for a coeliac. They won’t have space to keep somewhere totally safe.

I know it feels like you’re walking round with a big X on your forehead sometimes, but it’s better to not be served in a place that can’t serve you safely than to be served and them get it wrong.

It has long term consequences too. Not just feeling like death for a couple of days (it’s actually around a week for me to feel back to normal as I also get horrendous joint pain if I am glutened).

You describe the waitress as a jobsworth. Do you think it was her decision to ask you to sign the form, or do you think she could have refused to ask you to sign the form without any risk of losing her job? Please clarify.

Wow this is crazy! Fancy refusing to serve someone just because they had allergies!

@Skyview7 I think feeling humiliated was a bit strong - honestly if anyone should be embarrassed it would be them. I would have been saying loud enough for other customers to hear 'you want me to sign something that basically says you reserve the right to contaminate my food with allergens'? As a PP said it doesn't suggest they are confident in their ability not to cross contaminate food! You were definitely better off leaving. Hope you went somewhere else nice.

YABU. She doesn’t make the rules and you don’t have to dine there 🤷‍♀️

Last time we were in Nando’s, the lady taking our order wasn’t allowed to take it as DH has an allergy. It turned out that only managers are allowed to put through allergy orders, who knew?!! It’s a pain but it’s not the end of the world.

Disclaimer, I’m not sure if this is every Nando’s but it’s the one near me.

I would have walked out, shame on the cafe for acting like this

So basically what they are saying is that they simply can’t do gluten free, ie they can’t ensure it will be 100% gluten free
(why? You take your pick from not having checked suppliers, can’t be bothered, aware of their own ‘limitations’ etc….)

But they feel that you’re just ‘intolerant’ they can get away with it. Basically, if we’re sloppy it doesn't matter.

Even with signing the disclaimer, I wouldn’t have wanted to eat there as a coeliac.

I know that. But I’m
going on the basis that being glutened is a relatively uncommon occurrence.
unpleasant when it happens but as long as it’s not happening every week it shouldn’t have any long term serious impacts on your health.

Liability for personal injury cannot be limited by law, so a claim brought for that couldn’t be waived or limited even if the person signed the disclaimer willingly. I’m fairly sure any attempt to induce a customer to waive their right to sue for negligence for something as serious as food allergies would be viewed dimly by a court.

Food allergy laws are in place for a reason. Anywhere that is trying to make you sign a waiver might as well have a sign outside that says “We don’t give a toss”.

It isn't legally valid to exclude liability for negligently caused personal injury, so the cafe would still be expected do all they could reasonably do to safeguard you from contamination. The only situation in which this "waiver" might hold up would be if there was non-negligent cross-contamination despite them taking reasonable care, in which case they could perhaps argue that you were aware of the risks. But you signing a form would not protect the cafe from actual negligence.

Absolutely this.i have a Coeliac family member who loves eating out. We’ve never been presented with one of these (yet), but if we were I would be suggesting we leave and eat somewhere else

This is good and shows they take it seriously