Cafe humiliation

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Took my DD (hardworking mum to my 2 DGC) for lunch in a very nice local cafe (pink tea pots, fresh roses on the tables) as a treat.
Lunch menu looked nice. We ordered and I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac. I am in fact, coeliac and she said then informed me that I would need to sign something first. Honestly, I thought it was a joke but she came back with a large clipboard and an A4 sheet of paper and pen and asked me to have it signed by the time she returned; she was not going to take the order until this was done.
I sat staring at the paperwork wondering of this was for real. The paperwork was a disclaimer that if the cafe should inadvertantly slip me anything gluten laden then they would keep this piece of paper with my "consent" at the risks therein.
Several ladies having tea and lunches were staring at me and DD when the waitress came back; she was astonished that I hadn't signed their form yet. I just wanted to have a nice salad lunch with my daughter to treat her without having some jobsworth make me out to be some sort of liability to them. DD said it had sucked the good vibe right out and she was absolutely right.
So the waitress then asked why I wouldn't sign. I had to explain (calmly but upset) that I had hoped for kinder and far more inclusive customer service instead of singling me out and making me "other" whilst their diners looked on wondering why I was having to sign their paperwork before anyone was willing to serve us. She said, no, it's not like that - but I had to explain again that their paperwork was not to caring for the customer it was them covering their back against me if they were to make a mistake. Although I previously liked the cafe very much, DD and I left.
I'm a woman of the world and a solo traveller too. I have a happy go lucky nature but today...I really felt humiliated. AIBU?

I don’t blame them.
It’s a small business, and everyone threatens to sue these days.

You may not have liked it, but otherwise you have no choice but not to eat out.

I think this will happen more.
My relative has a severe allergy, and takes risks every time they eat out, but they are aware of this.

My friend who has allergies, had to have her food seperately served by a Manager when we were in a cafe chain, they daren’t make any mistakes, they just can’t afford to, for your sake and their own.

We all accepted it, it was a necessary evil, and there was nothing to be embarrassed about.

Honestly acting like this means eateries simply won't even bother in the future to serve GF

I think this is shit practice. They are in essence saying they can't guarantee there won't be cross- contamination: I don't think that's unreasonable for a small cafe, but then they should own that, and accept that it will lose them your custom, not try and claim that you can go ahead and eat food that may or may not make you ill at your own risk.

It's come about because of the nashatsha law. It's impossible for small scale kitchens to be completely allergen free as there's potential for cross contamination & everyone's allergy is going to have different degrees of risk.
Someone might be okay with gluten bread & gluten free in same kitchen if utensils & plates washed in between but someone with a peanut allergy might need a completely nut free environment.

The only safe way for a small independent kitchen to manage the risk is to be thoroughly transparent of what is handled in every kitchen & what can/can't be kept separate.

For example we handle nut products so can't cater for anyone with a severe allergy. We don't refuse service but customers need to read the allergen policy.

We have bought in pre-wrapped dairy free, vegan & gluten free cakes but gluten free sandwiches are prepared in the same area as regular but utensils etc are washed in between.

Most people are happy with the policy and it's used the advice from the natasha regulations which is that the information given to customers must be accurate - it's sensible to ask customers to sign/check a box on an iPad so they can't claim that they were given incorrect information.

It makes more sense to give people the information so they can make a judgement knowing the risks of their own allergies/health conditions rather than a blanket ' Sorry out food is made in an open kitchen and there may be traced of any allergens in our products' which either excluded people with dietary restrictions/allergens completely or forces them to take unknown risks.

But they aren’t serving GF because they can’t ensure the food is GF.

100% agree with you on that. It’s better to lose the custom than potentially have a customer with a potentially harmful reaction to your food. Not just crap customer service but also inhuman!

I work in a deli and cross contamination is really difficult to control. There could be something on the tongs, knives, gloves, anything really. I always tell people that there is a risk of cross contamination and I have sometimes refused to serve customers if they say their allergy is so severe they can die!

I’m coeliac. I’ve noticed hospitality being more careful these days which imo is a good thing. Gone are the days where the servers would stare at you as if you had 2 heads. But expecting you to sign paperwork is OTT and ridiculous. I’ve never had this.

Unfortunately with so many people ready to jump on businesses who make an honest mistake I can understand why they want to cover themselves.

Don't blame the waitress for doing her minimum wage job correctly per the company policy.

Personally I would sign the form and crack on with enjoying my lunch.

YANBU. If a cafe can’t organise it’s kitchen to avoid being gluten in a fricking salad then it has no right to call itself a cafe.

I'm not coeliac, but I have a friend who is. Fortunately, we have a reliable cafe locally which can cater to her needs. Apparently, one of the things gluten can do is damage the gut to the extent of causing malnutrition and all that implies - vitamin deficiencies, osteoporosis, anaemia and feeling generally unwell. Anything that affects your bones is awful; I had a severe vitamin d deficiency in 2023, which has been addressed, but I still get bone pain - and that's without coeliac as a complication. Have you had a bone scan?

I don’t go to Wagamama any more, since the last time I went the manager took ages to turn up, and my husband had finished his main course long before mine appeared.

The deli I work in has gluten in the mayo.

Was that the actual wording though?

Or was it more like description of what they can/cannot guarantee?

We have similar & can't guarantee anything is 100% gluten free because we don't have a separate area but we do wash plates, utensils etc before preparing gluten free sandwiches , have separate tongs for gluten free cake & have a flap jack that comes in pre-wrapped & is 100% gluten free.

Customers check a box to show they've read that and made choices that are safe.

We can't guarantee no trace amounts of cross contamination of gluten products. Usually the risk is acceptable to people with coeliac but the risks of cross contamination of nuts for example could be life threatening. We are not allowed to make medical judgements only provide accurate information. Asking customers to verify they have understood protects both parties.

Large companies eg Starbucks, wetherspoons will have bought in pre-packed gluten free options made in gluten free kitchens so they might be a more appropriate option for you.

That's a good point, so it probably makes sense to not eat there. It sounds like OP still would've though so that wasn't the issue. I suspect most places can't guarantee cross-contamination.

It has nothing to do with organisation. If a cafe with a small kitchen handles gluten, cross contamination is always a risk, however small.

Good point. Soya sauce has gluten as well. Many non obvious food products contain gluten.

Can you imagine if it was the other way around, and a coeliac customer asked the cafe to sign a document to announce that the food presented would be stringently gluten-free? It just wouldn't happen.

The clipboard thing might be a bit of a fanfare but I don’t really understand why you got so upset. People were looking more because of your reaction to it than the clipboard itself, probably.

My DD has several food allergies (along with intolerances) and we know eating out is always a whole ordeal, but such is life.

A waiver has it's place, usually when you have been informed of an allergy and you can't guarantee that there won't be some cross contamination, or that a particular dish contains the allergen, but the customer tells you they can tolerate that amount of the allergen, and they still want to order.
Then you could be reasonably expected to sign a waiver to show you've been informed of the risk and have accepted it.

People don't like being 'told' what they can eat by someone serving them, and they don't like being refused service, but a lot would be quite happy to make an informed decision and take the risk - the waiver is to ensure that it's recorded you've made the informed decision yourself, in possession of the facts and if you become ill, it's not because the establishment were at fault.

At the end of the day if the person serving isn't confident that they can provide you with a food free from your allergen then they can either serve it anyway and hope for the best, refuse to serve full stop, or explain the risks and ask you to sign to say you understand and accept that risk. It's not feasible to expect every place to be able to cater for every single allergen.

Unfortunately there's people around that will have an allergy, eat out somewhere and then claim the food made them ill. They may well have been ill, they also may not have been, and it be nothing to do with that food at all, but they will blame that establishment regardless, even the best allergen policies and proof they are stuck to will have people who do this and while an investigation won't go anywhere, a slating on review sites and SM does damage.

I don't think this place handled it that well, an explanation that they couldn't guarantee that there wouldn't be gluten present in their food, and if you agreed to that risk, then asking you to sign the waiver is imo, acceptable, or if you refused but still wanted to order then politely refusing service. I mean on a human level, who wants to give someone food that might make them ill?
But either way it's going to draw attention to you when that happens because a conversation has to take place, it's not humiliation, the person having that conversation with you isn't responsible for the rubber neckers loving a bit of drama.

More and more places will put up signs saying they can't cater for allergies and can't guarantee cross contamination won't occur in the kitchen.

Then what happens? People with allergies cannot eat out unless it is a home packed picnic to eat in the park? I think this is exactly what will happen.

I’m sure they do clean separately and have a different food prep area and are taking all the precautions they can to eliminate the risk however in a kitchen when there are all allergens and food that causes intolerance etc there is always a risk

Both my Dad & I are eli-pen allergic to a variety of foods. We always have to check anywhere we eat & obviously wouldn't ever sign a waiver like the one you were presented with. I'm used to having to read through the 'allergen ipad' at different places- but that's to ensure I'm safe not to sign a waiver!
The restaurant that cancelled my Mum's 80th with less than 2 weeks to go as they suddenly freaked at our allergens? - that was annoying!

If you have a serious allergy then yes, unfortunately because no small kitchen can make those sorts of guarantees unless they are specialised to cater for particular allergies.

Businesses cannot cater for everyone’s needs. A small business cannot be vegan, vegetarian, gluten free, nut free etc. etc.

You have a choice where to go as a customer and good businesses will do their best to accommodate their customers where possible but it is ultimately the customer’s responsibility when their own health is at risk.

Were they handing out forms to sign for risk of food poisoning, if not then that comparison is irrelevant. And if someone is handed a risk form for food poisoning and then eats there then yes it is on the customer, who would eat there after that form 😂