Cafe humiliation

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Took my DD (hardworking mum to my 2 DGC) for lunch in a very nice local cafe (pink tea pots, fresh roses on the tables) as a treat.
Lunch menu looked nice. We ordered and I asked if I could just check if my salad could be gluten free. At this the waitress asked if I was choosing or actually coeliac. I am in fact, coeliac and she said then informed me that I would need to sign something first. Honestly, I thought it was a joke but she came back with a large clipboard and an A4 sheet of paper and pen and asked me to have it signed by the time she returned; she was not going to take the order until this was done.
I sat staring at the paperwork wondering of this was for real. The paperwork was a disclaimer that if the cafe should inadvertantly slip me anything gluten laden then they would keep this piece of paper with my "consent" at the risks therein.
Several ladies having tea and lunches were staring at me and DD when the waitress came back; she was astonished that I hadn't signed their form yet. I just wanted to have a nice salad lunch with my daughter to treat her without having some jobsworth make me out to be some sort of liability to them. DD said it had sucked the good vibe right out and she was absolutely right.
So the waitress then asked why I wouldn't sign. I had to explain (calmly but upset) that I had hoped for kinder and far more inclusive customer service instead of singling me out and making me "other" whilst their diners looked on wondering why I was having to sign their paperwork before anyone was willing to serve us. She said, no, it's not like that - but I had to explain again that their paperwork was not to caring for the customer it was them covering their back against me if they were to make a mistake. Although I previously liked the cafe very much, DD and I left.
I'm a woman of the world and a solo traveller too. I have a happy go lucky nature but today...I really felt humiliated. AIBU?

I refuse to serve people with serious allergies because I'm not always 100% certain there won't be any cross contamination.

I would have written “signed under duress” in the signature box in nice squiggly signature writing.

I am not sure if this would hold up legally?

Surely if someone/a business is negligent regardless of what you have signed that is on them ? I mean incase of serious incident eg someone died ?

Obvious disclaimer I am not a lawyer. But I’d like to know the answer.

But how it's it a protection? Who is it protecting? Only the restaurant from a claim
Being made to sign is pretty much them saying we're not sure you take your chance.
If there were no cross contamination then they'd have nothing to sign.
Our group had a booking at a restaurant. When i enquired about gluten free they said it was an open kitchen and couldnt guarantee it. So we went elsewhere.

I doubt everyone in the cafe was watching you. Honestly I bet most of them never gave your a second look. Your big complaint is you were asked to sit there holding a clipboard, which sounds a bit ridiculous

I'm sure her presentation of it could have been better, but as a food retailer I am on their side.
It sounds like what she should have explained is that although some of the meals don't have gluten in the ingredients that they don't operate a gluten free kitchen so there is a risk of cross contamination.
Allergens are a MASSIVE thing now as a food producer, and for gluten free in a standard small kitchen it would not be possible to offer guaranteed gluten free dishes.
Even storing the salad things in the same fridge as items containing gluten would be a risk.
To be honest, I am surprised if you are fully celiac and not just intolerant that you didn't call ahead and check if they could accommodate allergies. Do you normally expect to be able to find safe items at every cafe?

Is there gluten in salad? I get transference danger with peanut allergies etc but wasn’t aware it was dangerous re gluten.

I imagine the form wasn't in fact saying that they weren't liable if their gluten free items had gluten, but making sure the diners understands and agrees that the cannot guarantee that there won't be cross contamination as they don't operate a gluten free kitchen.
If you are really allergic then you need to know these things so you can choose to eat elsewhere.

Croutons in caesar salad.
Wheat in english mustard so could be in the dressing etc. You'd be surprised where wheat gets!

I think this is why a lot of places are advertising themselves as 'low gluten' now, rather than gluten free. I think the form is over the top and they should just have disclaimers on the menu that they can't guarantee there won't be cross contamination or allergy free due to the handling of these items in the kitchen.

Then that’s fair enough.

I have an allergy or possibly just intolerance I’m not sure. But a particular ingredient makes me violently sick for about 24 hours and I would be happy with “not guaranteed” although I would prefer not at all obviously.

But I can eat in places serving it in food as long as I am not actually eating it which from what you’ve said it is basically asking you to confirm ?

Not necessarily but if it's prepared in a kitchen that is not gluten free, there is a risk of cross contamination from airborn particles of wheat or other substances that contain gluten. Cross contamination is a real problem for coeliac disease.

This has happened because people have become so litigation mad, you can't blame them for protecting themselves.

I wouldn't be humiliated. I don't think anyone else in there would particularly care. They'll have certainly forgotten about it by now.

If it said "I understand the cafe will do it's best but there is a risk of contamination" I guess that's fine? It's making it very clear and you couldn't then claim they didn't tell you. I think everywhere has a little sign like that now. I don't know how it would stand up legally though if they weren't observing good food practices.

I've seen an increase in places saying "the kitchen is too small to guarantee no cross-contamniation so we can't cater for allergies". I always wonder about that one.

In both cases I understand why. I think if you have allergies, sadly you do take a risk whenever you eat out. I would be terrified of making a mistake.

Actually it would have done them harm because they are absolving themselves from any due care and responsibility so they don't need to take care over your food because they won't be liable if they fuck it up and kill someone because if they do it for the gluten intolerant they are going to do it for milk peanuts all the other allergies and intolerance

It's really hard to fuck up a salad if they really need you to sign a waiver "just in case" then I wouldn't eat there even if I wasn't gluten free who knows what crap they will put in your food

Totally understand how you feel.

some places make you feel like such a freak because of your allergies.

I am a celiac and some places make you feel reassured that they are going all they can to endure cross contamination and take your allergy / cross contamination seriously and others just make you feel like a total freak and an absolute burden.

I used to avoid Wagamama as their massive pen and ‘A’ written on the placemat in red ink made me feel like I had the plague not a gluten issue and made me feel totally humiliated. But now they have a gf menu and the manager takes your order and it feels helpful rather than awful.

people who don’t experience life threatening allergies or celiac disease just don’t understand how hard it is and how you just want to fit in and have a meal out occasionally.

when places get it right it is amazing - but too often places forget that you are a human being and have feelings - you are not just ‘an allergy! .’

It's not an additional precaution to protect customers though. It's a get-out clause which allows the café to be as careless as they like with no come-back.

I worked for a chain hotel with a pub up until the summer. Anyone who had an allergy needed to complete and sign an A5 allergy card. This was then taken into the kitchen signed by the chef and kept with the order receipt on the pass until it goes out. It was then filed for 6 weeks before it was disposed off. It isn’t a disclaimer as such but more to ensure the process from order, kitchen and table has no cross contamination. During large events/weddings the cards were filled in with the guest and kept on the place setting. As the orders for those events had already been taken and dietaries highlighted the plates were slightly different (blue rim around the edge) so the wrong meal wouldn’t be given out.

I 100% agree with you OP. They should have apolicy which they can give to GF customers which explains everything you need to know to make an informed decision about eating there but they shouldn't make you sign away your rights.

It’s not for you to decide what someone else finds humiliating

It is when they ask if they're being unreasonable. Hth

I’d be interested to hear from any legal experts to what extent a form like this actually protects anyone…

If they didn’t take adequate care and a person suffered or worse died as a result surely the cafe would remain liable for their actions.

It’s not like signing for an activity that carries an unavoidable risk even where all precautions are taken.

If you have a small prep area and one coffee machine you cannot guarantee there will be no cross contamination. It's not about being careless, in fact it's the opposite, It's about protecting the customers.

I really feel for places that serve food when it comes to this topic.

Theyre between a rock and a hard place. The updated requirements, and the associated training mean that there's a very high awareness of cross contamination issues. As the reasonably regular recalls demonstrate it’s also an issue with bought in products.

If they tell you they can definitely meet your allergy needs then they’re taking on a huge amount of responsibility, on a topic they don’t necessarily have that much control
over.

It’s pretty tricky to run cross contamination free levels of control when you’re the person doing the cooking, and you’re dealing with a single allergy requirement. Let alone doing it day in day out for any potential combination of allergies working in a sector with relatively low pay and training and high turnover. Then you add that many people with allergies will often choose to accept a reasonable amount of risk themselves and eat products labelled ‘may contain traces’.

We don’t run an allergen free household, so to several organisations standards everything from
our home kitchen is a ‘may contain traces’ of. I’m ok with eating out when they tell me that’s the best they can offer, and asking me to acknowledge that so it’s clear we’re all on the same page.

You don’t need to spend long on mumsnet to see how often the ‘make a formal
complaint’ or ‘sue them’ suggestion comes up. We can’t live in a society that both takes that approach and isn’t ok with disclaimers / waivers. Personally I’d rather ditch the compensation culture, but until we do, I’m ok with small businesses trying to protect themselves as well as doing their best by. Their customers.

I don't see why not. It would say that the cafè does not undertake to ensure that the food it offers is free of allergens and the customer has chosen to order and eat the food at their own risk.

I can only assume the cafè was stung by a litigious customer, as I don't think the form is necessary. Unlike Pret, they aren't advertising allergen-free options.