To think the level of inconsideration around is staggering?

[CoralCrab]

It feels like people have become more self-absorbed and less aware of how their actions affect others. Whether it’s blasting music in public, not cleaning up after themselves, ignoring basic etiquette, or just a general lack of courtesy, I’m constantly noticing behaviour that seems thoughtless at best and outright rude at worst.

I don’t know if this has always been the case and I’m just more aware of it now or if people really have become more inconsiderate over time. AIBU to think that basic respect and awareness of others are disappearing? Or is this just normal and I need to stop expecting better?

This hasn’t always been the case. I blame the internet.

I agree. We went to sit in a little park in Central London for a breather last Sunday, and some clown decided to play his bloody ghetto blaster at full volume.
Self absorption personified.

I've just endured an hour of waiting during a child's activity.

Loud Dad was there, but fortunately he was more distracted chatting this week than being in his usual "I Am Parenting" mode broadcasting across the venue, and hyping the toddler into a squeeling frenzy.

Meanwhile some numpty let their child bring a remote control car and have that skittering across the floor as people pass through to different zones of the building.

Then the obligatory tablet, tonight being every bloody sound effect on a computer game being audible across the room at least 10m away.

The videos playing behind me almost seemed reasonable as they were quiet enough to only be heard within a couple of metres.

I think the staff have given up. About 10 years ago they were pretty hot on young children being allowed to roam around and be a nuisence. They certainly wouldn't have tolerated remote control cars then!

There's only about 8 chair/ table clusters there!

But hey, at least no 30min speaker phone chats tonight.

I have just moved to the top deck of the bus to avoid someone having a conversation on a mobile where I can hear both sides. The bus' engine cuts out when it stops and I can still hear both sides upstairs.

I had a kid playing video games going into work this morning and couldn't escape that one!

An unintended fallout of non-judgementalism gaining traction in the 90's?

So true ! I've had to complain to my neighbors again today about their various builders just parking their vans on my drive . Not over it, on it either blocking me in or just in the main space when I go out. They look so offended when asked to move it's astonishing

I think many people have really low personal standards now and it's reflected in their poor behaviors. They literally don't give a toss. Loud, brash, self absorbed, they treat the environment as though it's their personal playpen. I feel sorry for the wildlife and other people who are more sensible and care about how they conduct themselves. It's difficult to go out now because we're so overcrowded and an overcrowded place full of feral people isn't good. Just leads to so much stress. You can't behave like that in an overcrowded country.

The litter as well. So much litter. We're turning into a rubbish dump. Again, the wildlife suffer. We drove over the moors the other day. An area of outstanding beauty. Three dead sheep by the side of the road (speeding drivers) and so much litter. Felt like bloody crying. There's no escape from the environmental harm. I wish I could track the litter people down via DNA and make them bloody eat it.

I think many people are totally self absorbed and don’t realise that :

their bag doesn’t require a seat in a busy train / bus when people want to sit

a disabled / elderly person may need a seat so please look up snd look around you on public transport

that nobody else wants to listen to your music / tic toc habit and that headphones are cheaply available and should be used in all public places

no one wants to hear your domestic issues or business deals in The quiet carriage of the train. Take phone calls elsewhere

that pepper pig is fab for keeping your kid occupied - but no one else in The restaurant want to hear it - so please - sound off or head phones on

that ‘child friendly’ restaurant - doesn’t mean it’s a child free for all or soft play - your little darling running around is both a hazard to the waiting staff carrying hot food and drinks and really annoying to everyone else

that no one else wants to hear them eating in the theatre so please don’t open rustling sweets in the middle of the show

that no one else wants to hear their thoughts during the cinema or theatre or a concert so please sit quietly and talk about it during the interval (adult or child)

an orchestral overture is part of the show so please stop talking the minute it starts

rubbish doesn’t belong on the floor - stuck it in a bin or put it in your pocket or bag until you can find somewhere suitable to put it

not everyone likes dogs - so keep yours on a lead unless you have adequate control and recall and don’t let it run up to other in lead dogs or people ‘it’s friendly’ doesn’t mitigate the need for training

pick up your dog poo and bin it don’t hang it from the tree in a bag or leave it for someone to tread in

saying ‘please and thank you’ costs nothing and makes life sweeter - as does talking to waiting staff and shop staff as human beings and not as servants. Treat others with respect and talk to everyone as you would wish to be spoken to

BASIC MANNERS really matter!

i know I will sound like a grumpy old woman - I’m mid 40’s but I do find that the world has changed a lot over the last couple of decades and become a very self centred place and many are keen on asserting their perceived individual rights rather than also considering their responsibilities to make society work for everyone.

a little consideration in many public situations go a very long way - but are sorely lacking in the uk at the moment.

Yep, headphones are essential just to make my daily bus journey bearable due to people's full volume videos and FaceTime conversations and I've encountered the same in two separate medical waiting rooms this week alone. I find it breathtakingly rude and inconsiderate but fear I'm becoming the minority.

I think it's seen as totally acceptable now to just play videos on your phone or have a video call without headphones. People will sit next to you on the bus or tube in London and play something at top volume without a jot of self consciousness. It's such a regular occurrence that it's not worth the hassle of saying something and getting into an argument, although passive aggressive dirty looks and sighs are vaguely satisfying.

No, you're right.

I think as a nation we are total navel gazers. It's an epidemic and spun wildly out of control.

I think it's a general entitlement. I think we generally lack boundaries and rules and even a little bit of authoritarianism in our country. Everyone has just run a muck because they're allowed to. Nobody is ever told "no" or that their "rights" or demands are actually unbalanced and unreasonable. And it shows.

I think we need more "orderliness" back and doing things and having rules that benefit "the greater good" which would promote thinking of the benefit of others. A little bit of sacrifice. So we think of "we" not "me"

I feel like we need a return of public information videos.

"Charlie says always use your headphones in public places"

You're right and people are reluctant to challenge shitty behaviour, we have to "be kind" now. I wrote on here last week how I refused to be shoved onto the road and someone said it was down to an "un managed" menopause " 😂

Good grief 😂 (at the unmanaged menopause - honestly...)

I totally agree.

Unfortunately we're under rule by the blue hair brigade this century...

Oh, the litter!!

I take carrier bags out in my rucksack when I go walking with the dogs- I haven’t failed to fill one yet, and I live in the countryside.

Menopause was mentioned but chemo-induced (mine). The person went a bit mental and accused me of assaulting a guy when I raised my elbow and didn't move out of his way. 🙄

I have got to the point where I no longer want to eat out due to other people thinking I want to hear their conversations.
Last 2 evening meals out have been ruined by people on neighbouring tables using foul language, talking so loudly it is impossible to block them out and talking about things which I don't want to hear at the dinner table (or anywhere else).
Had lunch out today and the couple on the next table were chatting very loudly and he was extremely obnoxious. He then got his phone out and started reading out poetry very loudly and didn't stop. All I could think was how does his partner put up with it, I wanted to say to him to stop, I just don't get how either of them thought this was acceptable. When I say poetry it was like a Ronald Dahl rhyming story, seriously these were adults without children.
I had to get up and leave because it was just ridiculous. People have no idea if the noise pollution they create or they do and they don't care, either way you are not wrong, totally inconsiderate.

Seems like it’s everywhere now, and no one else gives a thought to anyone but themselves. We have a lovely green space near to us, the last decent sized bit we have left in our urban area I belong to a group who have been trying to save it for our community ( a very deprived area) for years. Our council is trying to sell it off for development so to try and show how well used and important the space is, we organise family events, fundraise and apply for grants to improve the usability of the space, have monthly litter picks ( which only a few of us do but never mind). We had a litter pick last weekend but by Tuesday there was litter piled all along one of the paths within 20ft of an empty refuse bin. Some folk walking their dogs don’t pick up their dog shit or put it in bags then hang it from the bushes and there are 3 dog waste bins nearby! Other times kids on those mini motor bike things tear up the grass riding around it.
Sometimes I want to say to the lovely people in the group trying to save the space, fk it lets give up, let the council sell it, all these selfish f*s don’t deserve or appreciate the space or care about the wildlife when they are throwing shopping trolleys in the duck pond. However I don’t, I just step back for a while til I can deal with the disappointment again.

This totally.

Ahhh the 80s

I think the range for what is acceptable and not has changed greatly, MN is a good example of this. Some people genuinely don't seem to understand the concept of thinking about someone else, I mean just look at some of the threads on here!

I was in Lanzarote in December and sat round the pool relaxing like many others. Most people were reading or like DP scrolling on phones, listening to music with headphones in or talking at a normal volume.

It was an adult only hotel and the pool had a big waterfall so it was a nice chilled out atmosphere, suddenly a couple came along and completely ruined it. They had a phone with speakers and started blasting tinny sounding heavy rock music, everyone started turning to see where it was coming from, they were on the sun loungers next to us and so I asked them to turn it down.

The woman agreed and went to turn it down but her husband got aggressive and nasty, he seemed to get great satisfaction to see people getting up and moving away.

I went to speak to a staff member who said they would try to get them to keep it down but this happened constantly with different guests and they often didn’t get good results.

I posted about it on here at the time and plenty of people said I was BU as I wasn’t confrontational enough, the couple had been drinking all day and I didn’t want a fight though.

On the plane home we had peppa pig and other kids cartoons blasting out of an iPad next to us, when asked if it could be turned down or if they could use headphones the child’s mum said “are you going to entertain her then?”

On a previous flight with a different holiday a big man was in the seat next to me and almost crushing me, I was starting to get panicky as he was pushed up right against me and after being assaulted I’m not great around men getting too close. I asked him if he could give me space and got a lecture about fat shaming, we had the choice of moving and giving up seats we paid a lot for or I carried on getting squashed. I’m less then 5 foot tall and DP is obviously a lot taller so I felt bad asking him to swap when he’d have even less space but that’s what we did, interestingly the man managed not to crush DP as much as he did to me, I think the fact DP fought harder for the space helped!

i have noticed no one seems to give a shit about others anymore, the examples I gave were just a small sample compared to what I witness daily, I have nightmare neighbours and no one seems to care.

I don’t think it’s going to improve and society is just becoming full of selfish people who don’t care unless they are getting what they want, I think it’s sad and I do think a huge part of it is due to phones and the internet.

I sound old but I do miss the days before the internet was so widely used and hardly anyone had a phone. I think social media has also turned people self centred.

I’m in the US right now and I say to my DH all the time that I’ve never known selfishness/self-absorption like it 🫣🫣
My British sensibilities are shocked every time we set foot in a supermarket or restaurant - not that people are rude in the way they speak to others, because I’d say that’s the opposite compared to the U.K. it’s more the “every man for himself” mentality that seems to be way more prevalent than I’ve ever experienced in the U.K. or Europe in general.

So true OP.
Went to a very upmarket pub last evening. When we got there, there were a group of about 6 Dads with their DC’s in the child-friendly area.
DC’s were running around shrieking, and the Dads made no effort to encourage them to use their indoor voices.
I noticed that a couple of the DC’s were wearing headphones (noise cancelling) too, and wondered how on earth we have reached the point where, even if accommodations are being made for the DC’s who cannot cope with loud noises, we no longer care about what their siblings’ extreme shrieking in public might be doing to the other people around that also can’t cope with loud noises, but who aren’t of the generation where headphones are the answer?

"I think it's seen as totally acceptable now to just play videos on your phone or have a video call without headphones."

There is someone playing something every time I use the train or bus. Not kids/teenagers either but grown adults. I don't remember this being the case even a few years ago.