To think the level of inconsideration around is staggering?

[CoralCrab]

It feels like people have become more self-absorbed and less aware of how their actions affect others. Whether it’s blasting music in public, not cleaning up after themselves, ignoring basic etiquette, or just a general lack of courtesy, I’m constantly noticing behaviour that seems thoughtless at best and outright rude at worst.

I don’t know if this has always been the case and I’m just more aware of it now or if people really have become more inconsiderate over time. AIBU to think that basic respect and awareness of others are disappearing? Or is this just normal and I need to stop expecting better?

I think the reason there are so many mental health issues these days is because a lot of folk (younger) can’t do life. No resilience

Yes, they seem genuinely surprised at finding out the world doesn't revolve around them and that life is often uncomfortable, difficult, boring, frustrating and even painful at times. Gotta take the rough with the smooth and retain a sense of humour.

We now have a training session each year on fostering a respectful workplace. It's basic manners and decency, and always makes me laugh that apparently people need training on this, but also quite sad. I have to say it's a big organisation and very rare to come across anyone working there who isn't polite and decent. Maybe it's the training 🤔

I started working in a corporate back in the late 80s. We didn't have training sessions back then about maintaining a respectful workplace. Instead what we did have was blatant discrimination against pretty much anyone who wasn't a straight white male. Maybe if we'd had training about basic manners and decency that kind of bullshit wouldn't have been so widespread back then.

On the way home from central London today a man was blasting out a video in his phone, so I challenged him, asked him to use headphones. He pretended that I wasn’t there. This was a middle-aged man.

then at the station, despite two big blokes, station staff manning the gates, THREE men pushed their way through the barriers with no tickets, and the station staff just watched them do it.

I despise living in London much of the time.

I got called an uptight bitch yesterday when I didn't fuss over an uncontrolled dog that jumped at me in a pub, just ignored it. My DH and I were then "miserable fuckers" when we moved to an outside seating area because said dog had been barking for ten minutes and it had become difficult to carry on our conversation. We hadn't said anything or stared at the dog owners. Just quietly picked up our drinks and moved outside.

It genuinely makes me wonder what has happened to society.

I absolutely agree.

Totally agree. My parents brought us up to be considerate, let others go before us, give a helping hand, respect our elders, have good manners. In the last 30 or so years, parenting has fundamentally changed and children are taught to put themselves first, push past everyone else to get what they want, no element of humility or consideration for others. Selfishness reigns now, sadly.

As an education professional, I also see a massive deterioration in levels of resilience, which again comes back to parents not teaching their children how to cope with failure/disappointment, etc.

Modern parents have a hell of a lot to answer for.

Totally agree. Even if I have the desired item going begging, I never, ever offer it to anyone who hasn’t posted a polite request, I’d rather take it to the dump!

Saw a local FB page post recently demanding suggestions for an engagement party venue, which ended with “and…..GO!” As if the whole community was there to eagerly leap to attention and obey his command! The sense of entitlement is overwhelming.

It's funny how respect and good manners and tolerance only work one way too.

This is absolutely the truth : I had E&D online training (Equality and diversity) and there was a link to the policy (that probably nobody reads ) it was a quiet shift, so I did indeed read it thoroughly, and one particular part that really stood out for me was not using "he" (or she if you're a straight man ) when talking about a partner - as it may be seen to promote "heterenormative cultures" instead use "they or my partner" to encourage members of the team who may identify as LGBTQIA+ to feel more comfortable talking about their own lives where their partner doesn't fit heterenormative culture.

I just thought to myself : that isn't inclusion! That's policing other people ! You've just swapped the shoe on the other foot!

Jeez what a crock of shite!!!

Like I don’t give a fuck who you’re shagging so you shouldn’t give a fuck who I am

Nail on the head. Some of todays teens and twenty somethings simply don't have the "tool box" to navigate pretty normal life and expect everyone and everything around them to accommodate them. Life's not like that. Poor parenting plays a massive role in this!

I totally agree.

I'm a teacher and around 10 years ago, I was having a chat with one of my friends who is a GP.

He said that, at that time, he was getting a lot of mid teens - early/mid 20s patients presenting with MH issues and that it had increased significantly since he'd qualified 15 years ago.

He felt that, at that time, the rate of actual MH wasn't actually any different to it had been previously but a lot of his patients (from conversations he was having with them) were really just struggling with getting out into the real world and realising that it didn't regard them as quite as special as their parents had. They lacked resilience and an ability to consider (or even see) other people's perspectives, a lack of interpersonal skills, conflict resolution etc. Everything anyone else did was perceived as a personal slight against them.

Many of those people, 10 years on will be parents now.

We had parents evening earlier this term. 27 parents attended. About half of those brought their children with them (so around 12-15 children - I didn't count).

Of those children, I had to manage the behaviour of 6 whilst I was meeting with other parents (so was being interrupted) because their own parents were just letting them do what they wanted - climbing on cupboards, squeezing behind furniture, emptying out resources... (in in KS2).

They NEVER do any of this at any other time. Never. When I told one child to stop what he was doing, his mum shouted over, "Oh, it's OK, he's just..." No. No, actually, it's not OK.

It's dangerous.
They never do it when they're under my control (never even tried - I was astonished, tbh.)
They're breaking all the rules we've established in the classroom.
It's my workplace and I'm still working.
It's only my job to manage their behaviour when I'm acting in loco parentis. The rest of the time, it's yours.
If I can manage the behaviour of 30 children every day whilst teaching, you can damn well manage the behaviour of the only one you are responsible for when I'm talking to someone else.

It was really obvious that these parents just don't have a clue how to manage their children. Not one of those parents even tried to get their children to stop. I mean, they can't have reasonably imagined that they're allowed to do those things at other times?

Most of the children were perfectly well behaved. In fact the only child whose behaviour wasn't impeccable otherwise was a child with ADHD whose mum kept a really close check on his behaviour and managed him excellently.

This situation isn't going to get any better.

I’m not sure I agree that this is always a generational thing - certainly so far as using a phone in public places with no headphones and the volume on - that is an anti-social behaviour that crosses all demographics. In London I have seen young, old, black, white, rich, poor and everyone in between do it.

My favourite was a woman, probably in her late 50s or 60s, who decided to blast out show tunes in a packed station waiting room. She seemed utterly astonished when I asked her to use headphones, it simply didn’t compute to her that she was doing anything wrong. She turned the volume down marginally, to which I said “you know we can all still hear it” and finally stopped, but she was very grumpy about it.

So those good values and consideration for others that older people were apparently taught in childhood appear to easily fly out of the window so far as phones go.

People’s behaviour in cinemas and theatres upsets me the most. Phone screens lit up, endless scrunching from foil bags of snacks, talking….I always wonder how these people were raised. But it’s actually pretty clear. Recently went to see Moana 2 with my severely autistic son (who has learned ‘cinemas are for quiet’) and a couple of adults brought in a troupe of 5 yr old girls for a birthday party. Fair enough. But the girls literally screamed through most of it (showing off to each other, and very hyped up) and stood on the seats etc. The adults did nothing but smile at them beatifically. It’s completely beyond my comprehension. How are they ever going to learn?

Then we went to the theatre twice recently. First time a young boy was allowed by his mum to kick the back of my son’s seat throughout the whole performance. Second time a group of young teen girls were scrunching clear pick ‘n mix bags very loudly, non-stop. Again, the mums with them said and did nothing. Thank god a woman in our row (I’m a wimp) turned round at one point and said ‘will you STOP making that noise and ruining this for everyone else!’. They all looked stunned - and were quiet as mice after that. No one had ever pointed out their behaviour before, and it only took one person. I’m guessing they’ll always be more aware from now on.

I was just thinking the same 😅

I'm quite deaf and find some noises muffled and difficult to locate, so I often ask DH, what is that funny noise and he'll say, it's person X with a ghetto blaster or it's from that car etc Desc their noise as weird or funny seems to have a good effect to it turning down or vanishing.

1st post got it with Internet. That and smartphones is the ruin of us all. I used to think there were more good decent people out there than bad selfish people, I'd now say it's about 50/50. Which sucks. The kids and young adults of our generation are pathetic. But we taught them this!! The PC/Woke/nanny state of the UK which has dangerously developed over the last few decades has turned us all into entitled morons. IMO.

Good for you! I always tell other people's kids off if they are being naughty!!

Ah sorry I just read it was another woman that said it!! Good for her!!!

100% I had 3 young boys playing football outside our home at 1.30AM !!! also disgusting amount of spit on the road people are dragged up these days not brought up

Our neighbours have a barking dog and burn all sorts of heavily varnished wood in their wood burner which smokes everyone out. They are around retirement age.

So it’s not just the youngsters who pollute our environment, the oldies are at it as well.

I think the behaviour hasn’t changed much but there are so many more people so you are more likely to meet a twat these days and they are going to have a negative effect on a greater number of people.

Resilience is through the floor - I think a combination of constant doom mongering news coupled with perfect lives curated for social media leaves many people in a state of learned helplessness. People need to get out more and be in the world as it is.

You're right. I was horrified when a person was having a teams work meeting in a midwife waiting room for all to hear. It's very strange behaviour.

I suspect that some of them do it on purpose. Some posts are so obviously designed to hurt, that it can't be an accident.

The week before last I went to visit a friend in hospital. She was in tears because the woman in the bed opposite her on the ward was spending most of the day and hours at night talking very loudly into her phone. She had the calls on speaker, so everyone in the ward had to listen. She wasn't a native English speaker, so they weren't even able to understand what was being said. She only stopped when her family was there, talking loudly, children playing boisterously or watching videos on phones and tablets without headphones. I was there in the evening and it was unbearable. Staff seemed reluctant to keep intervening and when I asked on my friend's behalf whether there was something that could be done to give the other women on the ward some peace the nurse shrugged.