To think the level of inconsideration around is staggering?

[CoralCrab]

It feels like people have become more self-absorbed and less aware of how their actions affect others. Whether it’s blasting music in public, not cleaning up after themselves, ignoring basic etiquette, or just a general lack of courtesy, I’m constantly noticing behaviour that seems thoughtless at best and outright rude at worst.

I don’t know if this has always been the case and I’m just more aware of it now or if people really have become more inconsiderate over time. AIBU to think that basic respect and awareness of others are disappearing? Or is this just normal and I need to stop expecting better?

This is a fact.

I agree with you but what puzzles me is how we got to this stage? When did it become acceptable for the majority? Did it start in school or at home?

Personally I think it started with everyone being told they could be who they want to be, do what they want to do and everyone else has to shut up and accept it or they'll be shouted down with name calling!

Did I write this whilst asleep?

Bravo @Savyonblanket !!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

When did it become ok and acceptable in public to play videos with the volume up on your phone, and have conversations on speakerphone? I spent a week in the maternity ward listening to this shit. I felt like I was the only one who didn’t do either of those things.

It’s not just youngsters
There are entitled boomers everywhere as well

So it must be at home.

Shame, but if there are entitled adults everywhere it’s hard to tell teens and young adults to display courteous social behaviour when those older are not.

Just moved into a town, expecting more noise than living in th country, thinking there will always be one, sadly I’m surrounded by 3..one seems to think we all want to hear his music bass booming out with the fragrance of weed floating in to our gardens, the other,no concept of looking after their dogs, so chuck them in the garden and leave them barking/attacking each other (one always helps occasionally) for literally hours, and lastly one who thinks he has a right to moan about gardening noises in the middle of the afternoon because he’s trying to sleep because he does night shifts. Selfish inconsiderate people who if confronted will kick off. Luckily the good people here outweigh the selfish. I’m becoming less tolerant of people the older I get..bite my tongue and smile sweetly

Over a decade ago I had a horrendous mixed age form group. When I told them that their rights ended when their behaviour harmed others and it was their responsibility to police this themselves I was told, no, those it was upsetting had to toughen up.
I had some interesting parents’ evenings at the time showing it wasn’t individual teachers picking on their darlings as most of them were saying the same thing. It has to be said that most parents took it on board - but those were the ones who turned up, the others were too busy to answer the phone or respond to emails.
I left teaching a couple of years later.

This.

Yep, that's what I think too, it's created such massive entitlement. I remember being bewildered watching stuff like X Factor when it first started by how many (usually young) contestants responded to a 'no' at audition with 'but I reeeeaallly want this', as though that made any difference to whether they could sing or not! It comes from never being told no and believing that wanting equals getting, because that's what they've been taught.

And people wonder why so many of us avoid public transport and use our cars? It’s the only way to ensure you don’t have 60mins of bhangra at full volume in a ‘silent’ carriage (as happened recently, I presume because they felt, whilst also facetiming someone during it that because they weren’t speaking English and those around them would not understand, they were under no obligation to shut the fuck up… I did actually tell him to do so, politely in the end).

I was on a bus the other day, woman in front of me must have been late 50's was blasting out Pink Floyd on loudspeaker with the phone held up to her ear.

It was very strange.

I have noticed when I’m around young kids now there isn’t a lot of ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ going on. And that’s a basic thing I was taught. Behave in other houses, no feet on furniture, it was an endless list of rules which we managed to stick to but still had a great childhood.
I don’t have DC of my own but my friends do, all teens early 20’s. Some have been pretty strict but others wanted to be their kids’ besties from the off.
Your friends are your friends. Your mum is your mum. I became good friends with my own mum at about 30, but I was still a bit in awe of her.
But even I can see when things started slipping. When we got TV’s in our rooms in the late 80’s, we migrated upstairs. When we stopped eating a meal together every evening.
It all begins at home.

In the 1980s Thatcher declared that there's no such thing as society. This is the inevitable result.

If schools taught phone and other technology use when in public, care of dogs, impact of litter etc etc it could turn things around. Can't see it happening though.

The adults in schools would have to teach themselves this first, and I can guarantee that teachers will be just as bad as everyone else for doing it.

Parents can be among the worst, though, as they hand their phone to little Johnny to watch Peppa Pig, rather than read a book or engage his attention themselves.

I've worked in many schools and have never seen someone blasting out a video on their phone in a staffroom, nor using speakerphone etc etc.

What? All of us..?

If schools taught phone and other technology use when in public, care of dogs, impact of litter etc etc it could turn things around. Can't see it happening though.

We do teach about dropping litter.

Are you seriously suggesting we fit teaching how to care for dogs and how to use phones in public in the already overstuffed curriculum?

We do teach kindness, respect, responsibility and considering other people's perspectives (which would cover both of those) and reinforce them constantly but, ultimately, children go home and their biggest influence (at primary at least) is their parents. We can't undo poor parenting.

Parents have to be responsible for something surely?

I do agree that people should be kicked off public transport if they play their phones out loud. It should not be allowed at all. I include school children - in fact it should start there.

When we were kids when we behaved like arseholes on the public bus, which of course we did from time to time as we were kids, we were kicked off and made to walk home. I think we set people up to fail by not clearly telling them the rules of decent behaviour and preventing even the most minor consequence to children. Silent judgment doesn't work if the other person hasn't internalised those rules already themselves. A bit of audible judgment must come first.

Isn't it better to have small, survivable consequences and learn from them than being protected from all failures until you get to adulthood and then bam, you're on your own?

I’m honestly noticing a worsening change in behaviour literally at every 6 month interval.

In the last 48 hours alone - Brits, in a nice destination holiday hotel, man with baby and lit cigarette - in the swimming pool, another man throws his used cigarette into the pool, lady 60’s - vaping next to me in indoor restaurant (illegal)….in the space of a single hour.

Lost for words really.

I don't think it's an age thing as my teens complain about a lot of this behavior as well.

It's worse post covid on public transport with device noises - my teens now need noise canceling headphones to cope. That gets to be an issue for us when we go out somewhere with unessary inconsiderate noise - often from other diners - and they then want to keep them on there as well to cope.

Pots covid public transport was often a nightmare - with strikes and service cuts delays - though prices have risen and risen. I wonder if people are annoyed about that so think fuck it and no one cares so I'll behave as I want - making everything worse for other users.

Though last years hoilday we were in quiet carraige and carriage filled up with a huge party of merry people off on day out - couldn't hear annoucements and we were delayed and had connection to make - very friendly lot but so inconsierate it was painful noise level so had to leave and move further down the packed train with cases . Year before it was a stag do with music they helped a young family sat behind them move elsewhere.

In both cases they clearly knew they were causing problems with their overwhelming noise just didn't care - and clearly thought themsleves a nice bunch of people to boot.

Doesn’t mean they’re not doing it on public transport, in the park or in the supermarket though.

Ni need to get defensive - like I said, this is an accepted anti-social behaviour across all demographics.

My pet peeve, people putting their feet up on the seat opposite on the train. It makes me livid!
i live in the inner city where the streets are full of dog poo. I doubt the pavements have ever been cleaned of decades of spit, faeces, vomit.. all of which we carry around on the under side of our shoes. Take them of the seat please where I’ll be sitting down!

Everyone seems so angry and entitled. Did it start with Brexit and the divisions that caused? Is it because anyone can spout rubbish on social media and see their bile “liked” which then validates their opinion as correct so they then carry on unabashed? Is it because we used to live in a more laid back society and now people are so uptight with the rules around “wokeness” that they’re pissed off most of the time? I don’t know but I’m fucking sick of the lot of it

Again, nail on the head. We've got a couple of generations who know their rights, think they're important, and don't have any respect for authority nor their responsibilities. It's the "me me me" generations.

And yes, starts at school with the youngest of kids being led the lie that they can be what they want to be, so they grow up with warped ideas and when it turns out (for the 99%) that they can't actually be what they want to be and have to compromise, they can't accept it and spiral into a decline of "woe is me".

@SomethingBetterChange

Parents have to be responsible for something surely?

Trouble is we're onto the second or third generation of feckless parents who weren't taught respect and values themselves, so can't teach it to their children as they're simply oblivious to previous social "norms". It gets worse with each generation. Lawlessness, lack of respect, loss of morality, general fecklessnes and an increase in the underclass are dragging us down to the level of a third world hell hole. Basically everything that Britain stood for for decades/centuries has gone down the shitter in just 2 or 3 generations. Nice one!