To think the level of inconsideration around is staggering?

[CoralCrab]

It feels like people have become more self-absorbed and less aware of how their actions affect others. Whether it’s blasting music in public, not cleaning up after themselves, ignoring basic etiquette, or just a general lack of courtesy, I’m constantly noticing behaviour that seems thoughtless at best and outright rude at worst.

I don’t know if this has always been the case and I’m just more aware of it now or if people really have become more inconsiderate over time. AIBU to think that basic respect and awareness of others are disappearing? Or is this just normal and I need to stop expecting better?

I don't understand why certain people are happy for their private conversations to be overheard by all and sundry.

All sadly so true.
I can only say that I make every effort NOT to be like that when in public. It's so easy to slip into behaving the same way but if we want a different society it starts with YOU.
Let's start a movement!!

I live rurally and some of the lanes around our village are single lane so when you meet another car it means one of you has to reverse to a passing place to allow the other to pass. I am finding that fewer and fewer people are happy to reverse and will just sit and wait for me to reverse to allow them compass even if I have 25metres to reverse and they have five. It infuriates me. Also people just letting doors go in your face rather than holding them for a few seconds.

I agree. I really wish we didn't share a language. We could do with being more European. I suppose they have their difficulties too and there's so many countries it's impossible to generalise, but they seem more sensible than us and not so out of control. We have a young friend who's moving to Finland to live and work and his descriptions of the place sound like it's a different world to us. I wish me and dh were young enough to leave the UK. I feel like an alien being here.

Getting drunk: nope
Being loud: nope
Fighting with others: nope
Destroying the environment: nope
Making others' lives a misery: nope
Celebrating yob culture and being thick: nope
Ripping off people: nope
Hurting animals: nope
Knocking the elderly and toddlers over with quad bikes: nope
Cutting trees down (coz they iz annoying innit?): nope
Hating everyone: nope
Keeping out of control dogs: nope
Dumping rubbish and litter: nope
Breaking the law: nope
Blasting sweary angry 'music' 24/7: nope

The list is seemingly endless.......😫

Now I notice loads of people (of all ages) seemingly unable or unwilling to move from eg 3 or 4 abreast on a pavement, so that I either have to wait or walk in the road to pass.

This - it drives me mad! Due to moving house and different finish times, I now face a daily battle against the tide of parents coming the other way on our afternoon school run. DD and I walk in single file where necessary right over on one side of the pavement and still sometimes get forced into the road by the people coming 4 or 5 abreast the other way with no intention of sharing the pavement. It happens pretty much daily and is just a basic lack of courtesy and awareness of other people.

I wouldn't do it to a child, but I'm not above holding my line and shoulder barging an adult who clearly expects me to get out of their way (especially if it involves stepping in the road) rather than us both accommodating each other.

Parent in M&S letting their kid scoot around inside the store.

It always beggars belief how many people think it's perfectly ok to park their car on double yellow lines. Yes, they can probably get away with it, but surely they understand why the lines are there? Do they not realise the chaos they are causing?

Same with the same stupid mum who parks her car on the zig zags outside school every morning, almost opposite the line of parked cars so it's a squeeze to get through every morning. Just no consideration for others at all.

I live down a lane like this and one particular resident does this all the time. Last time it happened I just stopped and glared at him. I didn't move. I had a good enough reason not to as he was literally a few yards ahead of a passing place.
He soon got the message.

Things haven’t changed, you have.

Some that didn’t bother me much in my 20s/30s, are more irritating now. But it’s my problem, not theirs. Similarly, some things that bothered me when I was younger, just pass me by. I was less sympathetic about kids when I was younger and thought there was loads of bad parenting about. Then I became a parent and realised things aren’t that simple. I’d rather see kids enjoying themselves than sitting quietly, bored stupid.

The only constant that has remained since as far back as I can remember was people whining about how much better things were in the good old days.

I lived rurally when I learned to drive nearly 35 years ago. The same issue came up regularly. So much so that my dad always advised me to have a newspaper handy, to pull out and start reading if someone refused to move.

I'm ND and have always noticed everything about people's behaviour as I observe it very carefully. Things have become worse. Perhaps there's always been people like this, but there are now more of them so they're having a greater impact. Teachers are leaving their jobs due to the harmful and violent behaviour of many children. They didn't dare behave like this when I was at school in the 70s and 80s. The older you get, the more you notice the changes.

I think British people have always been fairly boorish and poorly behaved in public. We just don't have a tradition of communitarian/group focused thinking.

It's more noticeable now that certain things have become ubiquitous - tech, particularly. Everyone has a device that can broadcast, in their hands, all the time. For a nation that doesn't keep itself in check in shared spaces, that means noise. Also, dogs. Everyone has one and they want to take it everywhere. Businesses allow it because in an economic crunch they want to get as many people in as possible. But, again, people who don't behave well also have dogs that don't behave well.

So instead of just having low level loutishness, like we've always really had in this country, we now have low level loutishness with noisy tech accessories and added untrained dogs.

I had one a while back going to a school open evening where the road width was restricted by a solid line of parked cars, so I had to drive on the right and hope nothing was oncoming around the bend.
A car approached from around the bend.
Oh well, straight into reverse, and trying to reverse uphill, in the dark minding cars parked on a bend.
Not made any easier when the twat in front of you is aggressively driving up towards your bumper and setting off your front parking sensors.
When she'd finally got past, DS said she was also waving certain fingers at me.

There was just no need for it. I hadn't got any other road space to use and I immediately relinquished to let her keep going. And with a few seconds more patience granted, I've have done it quicker too.

Today's numpty is the douchebag who overtook me on the roundabout from lane 3 to go straight on so he could blast through the 40mph zone (inc prdestrian crossing) at at least 60mph.

Tailgating seems to be particularly fashionable at the moment. Several times I've turned onto roads with plenty of observation, got up to the speed limit and the car that was in the distance or beyond line of sight at the point of starting is now irrate that I've stopped them from doing 45mph in a 30mph 🙄 The main offending road this happens on has numerous hazards and the tailgater has come from the start of the road or the junction 80/ 60m away from my usual one.

The 2022 trend of failing to accelerate to join NSL dual carriageways is still going strong.
Last week a muppet in front was failing to manage their speed on the slip road. There were two lorries approaching. I couldn't get faster than 40mph behind him which would put the lorries gaining on me, so had to hold back, then accelerate to get up to speed in a space. Meanwhile 40mph muppet is running out of sliproad, getting into a lorry sandwich and forcing the lorry to brake and blast their horn. Muppet then winds his window down, sticks his arm out and waves a finger around.
I did not take his arm off from lane 2 at 65mph. I'm good like that

Oh this thread is theraputic!

I suspect that increased use of illegal drugs has a lot to do with it. Whether they're high, or in between times when their brain chemistry is still messed up.

It's certainly increased around the same timescale that it's become increasingly normal to smell certain substances all over the place.

A timely thread - I've literally just got back from town. I was early for the bus, thinking ok I'll sit in the bus station and read my book for twenty minutes. Cue three rather intimidating girl teenagers playing music at full blast. No-one - including me - said a word. Interestingly when the male cleaner came along they turned it right down but turned it up again once he'd moved on.

I've been warned off by my husband about confronting people who engage in anti-social behaviour (including bad driving too) and also I wasn't sure if they were getting my bus. Thankfully they headed off on another bus - ironically to an area we ruled out when we were looking to move here as being too rough. My husband still teases me about that - but you get a vibe of a place and young people in hoodies lingering about during the day - sitting on walls - in the middle of the week does not inspire confidence. So sad, I've always championed young people who have social, emotional and behavioural difficulties which was part of my job in education and not boasting, but have had success with some turning their behaviour around. It's probably not those girls' fault - you have to be taught manners by your parents and if they don't have the right role models then it's game over. My daughter and son-in-law are sticklers for good behaviour and consideration for others with their children.

As for litter, we live in a beautiful area but every day my husband does a walk and picks up litter - what's the matter with people that just don't respect the privilege of living in an absolutely beautiful place? It's all quite depressing.

The one that gets me is the slow creep of demands rather than questions with no please or thankyou. It’s like folk have conversations in the same way as they conduct a google search or ask Alexa.
This is particularly noticeable on web forums or Facebook pages e.g.
’name of a decent plumber’ or
’need a joiner quick to fix back door’
Just fuck off!!!!

DH and I were just talking about a conversation we overheard (how could we not, at full volume) on the train a couple of months ago. She was moaning to her friend about her relationship. DH almost had to restrain me from letting her know the obvious: he was using her for sex and it wouldn’t change. I do think she would have benefitted from my wisdom…

It’s always been the same but now you’re old

Noise escaping from headphones has long been a thing, but I'd rather go back to that than the broadcast levels that seem to be used in just about every public space.

Pavement hogging drives me around the bend. All I require is about 0.8m to pass by, but people seem to spread for maximum domination. Romantic couple? Arrange yourselves across the central two quarters of the path so there's not quite enough space on either side. Extension lead award for last week goes to the chihuahua on the opposite side of the path to its owner. Ironically 4 miles later I saw an Irish Wolfhound walking beautifully at heel

The hard bit with oblivious pavement blockers is that it's often worse to draw attention to your approach because they're then so shocked that other humans exist and scatter in a daze and get in the way even more. 🤦‍♀️
Over the course of an hour or two of running it gets quite depleting to deal with repeatedly on top of listening out for bikes or illegal E-scooters that could take you down at 20mph.

I always assume this is someone who is uncomfortable writing on-line - eg vision issues, literacy problems, fear of using screens. I know what you mean - it can sound abrupt!

It’s a knock on effect from the way we as a nation are being treated. It’s trickle down effect. The government neglects our NHS and builds on our green spaces and we feel the culture of our country to shit on people and tell them to shut up.

Alas, it’s not just the UK. We‘ve got the same things going on here in Germany- people playing music or watching videos without headphones on public transport, feet on seats, kids allowed by parents to ride scooters in shops etc. I was on a bus once and a parent was allowing a child to scoot up and down the aisle - the driver stopped and refused to drive onwards until the scooting stopped! 😮 People have reached new levels of inconsideration for others.

I agree. People won't watch them though. These days people skip adverts, avoid the TV news and don't read newspapers.

I politely bollocked a woman who dropped her cigarette litter on the floor outside her office the other day. She claimed she didn't know it counted as littering.

I remember people doing this is the 80s so nothing new

I once took a call and was asked for my personal details. I said no because I'm on a train. They didn't seem that impressed that I said not now.

I hate talking on the phone in public anyway. Certainly not happy to discuss personal stuff.