Toddler dad picking up and touching other people's kids at playgroups

[Babycatsarenice]

I've come across a Dad in the local park who once weirdly sort of patted my daughter's back when she was crawling past in the playground. Recently at at toddler group I saw the same Dad picking up someone else's kid and putting her on a chair and also messing about withanother kids hat. Strikes me as wierd I never really touch other people's toddlers unless to stop them falling over or falling on another kid. I think he shouldn't do this. AIBU?

Yeah no this is bollocks.

@CosyLemur can you link to a source for that 50/50 statistic?

There is a dad at playgroup that all of my kids have been drawn to. No idea why, don't know him otherwise and they aren't particularly friends with his kid, they just really like him. If they ask, he'll play it help them out. Not creepy.
On the other hand, there is a woman who also doesn't know me or my kids very well who constantly asks my daughter (16m) for cuddles. This feels incredibly wrong and like she is taking advantage of a small baby for affection. I've now taken to following baby around despite the fact that she prefers a little more freedom, and picking her up when the woman comes close. I think a lot of it is about how the situation can make the child or parent feel, some people just don't feel safe to be around.

Unless he's doing the Joe Biden Squeeze n Sniff, I think he's probably ok

It sounds innocent

Don't be ridiculous. Have you thought that maybe the press reports female teachers abusing boys more than male teachers abusing girls because they think it is more newsworthy (I.e more unusual!)

By the way, it's not 'having an affair' it's abuse.

It’s sadly the society we’re living in. The fact this thread even exists shows that. I can remember DH spotting a clearly distressed and lost child in IKEA but he asked me to go over as he didn’t want people to think he was up to something.

My OH has twice spotted lost children in Asda and told me. One was heading for the door to the car park so I got hold of her hand and turned her round. When her mother appeared she did not even say thank you.
The other child was crying so I asked her if I could pick her up so that she could see her mother better. I walked her along the tills so that she could look down the aisles. Eventually a distraught mum dashed up and thanked me.
My OH often chats to children but would not touch one.

Depending on the dad’s cultural background, it could be completely normal to him. I used to work with a lot of West African dads who would think it was weird NOT to help a child onto a seat or something, or pat a child’s cheek etc. I also come from a background where children are made a huge fuss of by men and women equally - lots of cheek pinching and so on. DH works for an Indian company and the dads there picked up my DC when they were babies and carried them around.

This simply isn't true.

Family and friends are far more likely to sexually abuse children than strangers in a public setting.

God I miss the village.

Very sad that you find this something of concern 😞

Honestly if it was a mum would this bother you? Because this all seems like fairly standard behaviour.

there was a dad at our old playgroup who was very active in playing with other kids. None of us had any concerns. Honestly I’d rather a dad be like this than sat in his phone ignoring his kid which is what I see mostly from both mums and dads at these groups

This - unless my child seeks out physical touch from you/ is hurt/ needs help there is zero need for anyone to be touching my child.

I'd also say op that if your gut tells you something is off or gives you the ick listen to it.

Isn’t it! What a fucked up cynical neurosis filled world we live in.

I play with other people's children, hope no one thinks I'm weird. I'm a woman so they probably don't.

What's the risk profile for fathers taking their toddlers to playgrounds?

@JLou08 No you’re safe, it’s only men that have to prove they are not raging paedo kiddy fiddlers before they so much as smile at a child 🙄

I think this is indicative of how society is even at our church male or female safe guarding rules are no touching without parents permission. No being in a room with children without another adult. It is sad but it is done as much if not more to protect the adult. It is something my husband struggles with as has been used to all his life interacting with children.

Oh you're one of "those". There is nothing nicer than a Dad parent that helps out with the kids at playgroup. The children usually love it.

Some people (yes even some men) just love kids in an entirely innocent way. We have a male friend who's so good with little kids. Of course playing with toddlers involves some touch. I really can't imagine not touching other toddlers if I spend an afternoon with them. When mine were little I'd often have a friend's child on my lap and vice versa. It's perfectly normal.
Touch is good for kids. It would be a horrible world if we were all terrified to touch a toddler.

Actually with sexual . . . . abuse of small children it's actually about 50/50

Actually, this is HORSE SHIT.

OP complain to the nursery. The touching could increase. He may be attempting to normalise it with these small regular touches first. This man may be in the vicinity of this same group of children for the next 6/7 years if they all go to primary school in the same age cohort.
Grooming is REAL.

Can you provide some evidence of your theory as the crime stats absolutely don’t back that up.

Fuck off. 😂🤣. This is unreal.

I think it's odd. I don't randomly touch other people, toddlers, children or adults. The one time I tried to help a small kid who'd fallen over, proper thwacked on the playground, the mum gave me a right filthy look. Not that she rushed over mine!