Help! She's standing on the toilet seat!!

[Crazyworksituatio]

Help! I've no idea how to deal with this without offending. Since a new female employee has started working with us there are shoe prints on toilet seat. It's a corporate office but only a few females use this toilet so obvious who the culprit is. The lady is from India and new to country. She's very professional and I think this is a cultural difference but I'm horrified she thinks this is ok? What would you do??

As long as she’s hitting the mark and it’s not all over the place I don’t really know what you can do. Maybe put a sign up to please wipe foot prints off toilet seats. Lol

I am 50 years old, have several degrees, have held down many jobs and have lived in three countries and before tonight I never knew this was a thing.

We're all learning.

We had this at our work. Very common in some countries. Company had to put heir foot down after too many broken toilet seats.

Why are you horrified - such hyperbole.

Calm down and mention it to HR about a health risk.

You are horrified about this when I have seen all kinds on women’s toilet seats - pee, poo, volition, blood.

Calm down and deal with it like a grown up.

Oh god. I used to work somewhere lots of people used to do it.

The seats used to get broken SO often, that the company (global company!) had a squat toilet installed!

2 holes?

There's no way of dealing with this in a way that won't cause embarrassment to the poor woman, but it does have to be dealt with, I think, otherwise it is likely to blow up as an issue in the office.

I think the kindest way is for HR to have a very discreet and gentle word with her

It’s a serious health and safety risk.

My DP is Asian and when we first started seeing each other his cousin visited my house and tried to do this on my toilet seat.

My toilet seat was loose and broke completely with the weight, he went flying forward and knocked himself out, that was a fun afternoon.

Is it possible you can talk to this lady one to one and say you are aware this is happening and you are worried about her safety. Be matter of fact so it’s not embarrassing and don’t skirt around things. Ask what you can do to make her feel more comfortable but make sure she knows you will be discreet and the conversation will go no further.

You could offer a squatty potty as mentioned above, is there anywhere private to keep it in the toilets? (I’m not familiar with them as DP uses the toilet as intended!)

Is she washing afterwards? You can get a portable bum washer off TEMU or Amazon, we have a bidet attachment at home that’s discreet and fitted into the toilet seat.

I know it’s an awkward conversation but it’ll be more awkward if she hurts herself, every time she stands on that toilet seat it’ll be loosening and she might be adept at keeping balance but not if the seat moves suddenly.

Don’t put up a sign, she’s going to know it’s directed at her and would you want it bringing to everyone’s attention? It sounds like you are genuinely looking for a diplomatic solution and to be discreet which will be appreciated.

DP’s cousin struggled to use western toilets, if you went to another country with unfamiliar toilets you’d be the same. DP takes the attitude he lives here so he follows our customs but he appreciated the bidet so much because it’s what he’s used too. I couldn’t be without it now, it’s so much more hygienic!

Don’t risk a serious injury over a possibly awkward conversation, the conversation will be over quickly but if this lady hurts herself the implications will be far longer lasting.

As for people commenting about the hygiene aspect, it’s not pleasant to sit on a toilet that’s been stood on, if there is no other solution can you at least get seat covers? If the aim isn’t accurate it can be messy as well.

Toilet seats are gross at the best of times with or without shoes. It's just different to what you're used to. I never sit anyway in public loos.

Sure its a cultural thing but it isn't British culture and our loos are not designed for it. I'm not a sensitive soul re hygiene but I wouldnt want to sit where their shoes had been. Also its a heath and safety issue as isn't it a bit acrobatic to blance on a possibly wobbley, weak loo seat?

Having just been pondering this interesting thread whilst going to the loo, I do wonder why people would actually balance on the seat.
It’s pretty obvious that’s not the thing to do.
If I were unexpectedly to encounter a floor level toilet I wouldn’t think I should actually sit on the floor to use it.
Why wouldn’t someone just naturally work out they needed to sit on a raised toilet rather than try and balance on a very thin rim with a lift up seat?
Surely they would just work out the need to sit and if they didn’t fancy sitting, the natural alternative would be to hover over it.

DP’s cousin struggled to use western toilets, if you went to another country with unfamiliar toilets you’d be the same.

Quite. All these people who are shocked that anyone does this but equally shocked at the existence of squat toilets. What would you do with faced with a squat toilet if you had no idea such a thing existed.

You beat me to it. I was going to reply I have bad dreams exactly like that. Bursting for the loo and the only ones are ‘communal’ 😱😭😭😭

Our toilets aren’t meant to be stood on.
It doesn’t matter what people are use to in their home country, their toilet facilities are different to ours.
I really can’t understand why anyone would stand on a toilet seat, it’s obvious that this could cause damage and/or injury.
Either signs or HR.

I think it would be pretty obvious to work out I needed to squat over it!
Infact I think that’s exactly what happened when I first encountered one. I didn’t sit on the floor!
Most people are intelligent enough to reason it out.

No.

You might think that it's obvious what to do, but here is clear evidence that it isn't as obvious as you think. Expressing disbelief at her phenomenal stupidity is, perhaps, not the way to go here...

No, when I first went to Turkey there were holes in the ground. It was pretty obvious what I had to do. Same as this lady probably knows how to use our loos but doesn’t want to.

She could have at least wiped her footprints off after.

Squatting over toilets is very common in many parts of Asia and they have toilets at ground level with no seat. It is also very common for people when encountering Western toilets for the first time to put their feet on the seat and squat in the way they know. The problem is not only one of hygiene, but of breaking the seat, which has happened many times. I agree with pp that notices in the cubicle are a good idea.

She probably has much better balance & core strength than you. Western people are on average very bad at squatting

I don't think its a case of they don't know how western toilets are supposed to be used, its that they don't want to use them the western way. They are used to squatting, and want to squat. They may even find it difficult to go if not in a squat position.
Kind of stupid to move to a country where squat toilets aren't a thing in public and might even be hard to find to get installed in your home if you own and have the ability to change your bathroom if you have no intention of using western toilets the western way.

It isn't only in Asia, either. On my first school trip to France in 1980, the first toilet we encountered was a hole in the ground and it came as a bit of a shock. It seems to have been a common experience at the time as I have come across a lot of people who have had the same experience. I would imagine that this is no longer the case.

Yes i've experienced this at work too, footprints on the toilet seat from an Indian newbie, how the heck can they do that, you need to sit for control !

So just don't?

1. I don't think the OP is in Asia.
2. Toilets in the UK are not a hole in the floor.
3. What's your suggestion to "handle it with humility" that doesn't involve people sitting on a toilet seat that someone else has stood on with their dirty shoes?.

Why is this a new thing over here though? We’ve always had Indian people living here but I’ve only heard of the standing on loo seats thing recently.

Just a thought but in buildings were public use the toilets, they stand on toilet seats to hide drugs in the ceiling space because these are normally the tile type ceilings so can be lifted/moved etc.

if there’s four users of the toilets for definite then two options really, speak to her 121 or leave it