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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report my son as missing?

459 replies

stucky · 18/03/2025 21:23

Wondering when to start panicking? DS 22, hasn't been home since Friday day time. He usually lets me know what's going on. It's not unusual for him to spend time at a friends for a day or two, however I've messaged his closest friends, no one's seen him since Friday. His phone been dead since Saturday morning. I know he's not a child, but he's my son and I'm concerned about his wellbeing. Should I report him as a missing person? Or am I overreacting? I just don't know what to do.

Please be kind, I am currently feel very fragile.

OP posts:
wherewasoldmcdonalsdfarm · 18/03/2025 21:55

I would call now
perhaps check local hospitals?
ask his friends if he is dating anyone or if they know he is if they can contact them

without committing fraud and get long DH or a male to call up his bank and pretend to be him you won’t be able to find out if his bank card has been used so I wouldn’t do something like that (I’m assuming this has crossed your mind)

does it say when he was last online on Facebook/whatsapp/instagram Perhaps his friends could check for you

ask his friends does he have Snapchat and to snap chat him or check his location in Snapchat They can also check his ‘Snapchat score’ and see if it goes up as that means he’s using it

if you have a home computer/ipad he may use he may be logged in on social media/email. Highly highly highly unlikely but worth checking

Whitelight25 · 18/03/2025 21:55

Please report him. Please let us know what happens.

WhereIsMyJumper · 18/03/2025 21:55

Is this normal behaviour for him???
But yes, of course you should report immediately

WatchOutMissMarpleIsAbout · 18/03/2025 21:55

Do you have other dcs that may know where he is? Sending positive thoughts your way.

Mummy1614116 · 18/03/2025 21:56

Hope his ok xx

beasmithwentworth · 18/03/2025 21:56

As some others have said, what possesses people to be so unhelpful and judgemental? What about some support for the OP? She didn’t come on here to be judged or asked unhelpful questions. I echo what the other non judgmental posters have said and yes cast the net as wide as you can with all friends and acquaintances that you might be able to get hold of IRL or on social media.

I hope all turns out ok OP

MrsSunshine2b · 18/03/2025 21:56

Are you in shock?

Your young adult son disappeared 4 days ago with no trace and hasn't been seen by anyone, of course you need to report him missing.

murasaki · 18/03/2025 21:56

If he's not been to work either, that is worrying, I hope he's ok.

Doteycat · 18/03/2025 21:56

Have you checked his socials? I know his phone is dead but can you see on whatsapp or Insta when he was last online? Any chance someone on his friends list has him on Google maps location or on snapmaps?
We located someone via snapmaps a few years ago. Its worth a look if you can.

Toddlerteaplease · 18/03/2025 21:58

Sunshineandrainbow · 18/03/2025 21:36

Absolutely do it now.
If you ring hospitals and give his name they will tell you if he is a patient.

Really hope he is ok 🥰

They will not tell you anything. They will not give information to done random
person on the phone.

Isittimeformynapyet · 18/03/2025 21:59

Maybe OP is on the phone to the police. I hope so. She might be some time.

Poppyseeds79 · 18/03/2025 22:01

Toddlerteaplease · 18/03/2025 21:58

They will not tell you anything. They will not give information to done random
person on the phone.

Show quote history

Of course they will. They'll not give over personal medical info but if you ring to ask if someone's been admitted and you have their D.O.B they will tell you...

Speaking from experience of ringing around several hospitals when they transported my DM and lost her 🫠

ImAChangeling · 18/03/2025 22:01

Hoping you’ve got police on the case and all turns out ok 🙏🏼

Bournetilly · 18/03/2025 22:01

Report ASAP.

OneShoeShort · 18/03/2025 22:02

beasmithwentworth · 18/03/2025 21:56

As some others have said, what possesses people to be so unhelpful and judgemental? What about some support for the OP? She didn’t come on here to be judged or asked unhelpful questions. I echo what the other non judgmental posters have said and yes cast the net as wide as you can with all friends and acquaintances that you might be able to get hold of IRL or on social media.

I hope all turns out ok OP

Usually I roll my eyes at the posters who can't say anything that doesn't involve a time machine. But in this case I think the comments have a point

  1. Reporting today is in no way overzealous or hovering - multiple people are saying that it would have been perfectly reasonable to report several days ago assuming there's no additional back story
  2. The fact that OP still isn't sure about reporting after 4 days made me wonder if there is a backstory that would change the picture. So asking OP her reasoning for not reporting yet isn't necessarily pointless or goading.
Isittimeformynapyet · 18/03/2025 22:02

Toddlerteaplease · 18/03/2025 21:58

They will not tell you anything. They will not give information to done random
person on the phone.

Show quote history

They will tell you whether a person is a patient.

I phoned up as a random to check on a friend after a big op. I got confirmation they were a patient but nothing else. Friend called back when he got my message.

HomeBodyClub · 18/03/2025 22:03

Could he be on a weekend session with the Newcastle v Liverpool game? Just suggesting as a lot of friends had been out Friday to Monday.

I hope he’s found safe and well.

Flux1 · 18/03/2025 22:05

Hoping he's ok. I can only imagine how worried you are. I hope his pals can help you to trace him.

Perculiar · 18/03/2025 22:05

Yes, definitely if you have tried all his friends and work and nothing

BlackCoffeeAndSugar · 18/03/2025 22:07

Hope he is OK.

Isittimeformynapyet · 18/03/2025 22:07

OneShoeShort · 18/03/2025 22:02

Usually I roll my eyes at the posters who can't say anything that doesn't involve a time machine. But in this case I think the comments have a point

  1. Reporting today is in no way overzealous or hovering - multiple people are saying that it would have been perfectly reasonable to report several days ago assuming there's no additional back story
  2. The fact that OP still isn't sure about reporting after 4 days made me wonder if there is a backstory that would change the picture. So asking OP her reasoning for not reporting yet isn't necessarily pointless or goading.
Show quote history

It doesn't matter to us if there's a backstory as it's not for us to solve the case.

All we had to do was say yes, report it.

The police will ask what needs to be asked.

maddening · 18/03/2025 22:07

Definitely report, keeping everything crossed that your boy is safe.and you find him soon x

BluebellsRoses · 18/03/2025 22:08

I'm praying now for your son, and for comfort for you @stucky and your family at this extremely difficult time. 🙏💐 I sincerely hope everything works out well. Please do let us know any updates so we can support you, if that's helpful to you.

AutumnScream · 18/03/2025 22:09

Definitely needs reporting. He hasnt been seen by family or friends in 4 days, his phones been dead for 3 days and he hasnt appeared at work in at least 2 days.

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 18/03/2025 22:10

I'm very sorry you're so worried. I'd be exactly the same.

Do report this ASAP. I'm keeping you in my prayers.