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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report my son as missing?

459 replies

stucky · 18/03/2025 21:23

Wondering when to start panicking? DS 22, hasn't been home since Friday day time. He usually lets me know what's going on. It's not unusual for him to spend time at a friends for a day or two, however I've messaged his closest friends, no one's seen him since Friday. His phone been dead since Saturday morning. I know he's not a child, but he's my son and I'm concerned about his wellbeing. Should I report him as a missing person? Or am I overreacting? I just don't know what to do.

Please be kind, I am currently feel very fragile.

OP posts:
IamMoodyBlue · 22/03/2025 20:35

So pleased and relieved that DS is safely home. I hope everything works out well.
Best wishes

Mummytotwosprogs · 22/03/2025 22:35

Do you have an update?

purpleme12 · 22/03/2025 23:02

Do you mean an update further to the ones already given?

Because I don't think a further update is needed really

Jjackiesb · 23/03/2025 10:42

YesHonestly · 18/03/2025 21:47

How is this helpful?

Show quote history

How is YOUR reply helpful ?

MizzThang · 23/03/2025 13:10

Let’s not shame them for not being sure if it would be considered a ‘waste of police time’, etc?!

3rdtimelucky73 · 23/03/2025 21:48

stucky · 19/03/2025 19:08

hi everyone, he's home and unscathed. He's not in a great headspace and has asked for some counselling. We have quite a complex history with DV and I think he's being impacted by unresolved trauma.

I read some comments about gentle parent and how it can create lazy, complacent adults or something to that affect.

I am not a shouter, I don't like punitive measures and I trust my son. We have a good relationship and are very close. I don't feel and have never felt the need to breach his privacy as an adult until this weekend.
When he was jumped, he was with his girlfriend and they called me and let me know what had happened. We FaceTimed and I offered to go over, I wanted to be with him. I respected his decision to not have me there. I try to be respectful of his decisions and by no means claim to be a perfect parent. I really wasn't coming on here to have my parenting judged from snapshots of information.
Colleagues and friends of mine are police officers and I know how stretched services are. I didn't want to involve them unless it was absolutely necessary and all other avenues of enquiry had been explored. I was right in my decision and my actions yesterday have resulted in him coming home,
for what it's worth.

I can tell you that I was worried about a million things and had concerns about his welfare last night. Felt like an awful mum and in those moments, which I believe we alll have, I did not want or need affirmation of my darkest fears and failings from strangers on the internet.

I am going to remove this thread at 8pm but wanted to thank those posters that were supportive and kind. It really helped, as I said I needed unbiased opinions so thank you so much.

i hope you all have a peaceful, uneventful evening. I will not be responding to any more posts but am appreciative of the concern felt for my family and I.

So glad he's home &. opened up to you.

Lighteningstrikes · 23/03/2025 22:18

Having been in similar shoes to you, I know how terrifying it is.
I’m so relieved for you that he’s back safe and sound 💐

Createausernam · 25/03/2025 15:24

Lyraloo · 21/03/2025 15:07

I think it was people being nasty to me for trying to be kind and supportive when I had very little time!

Show quote history

Nobody was "being nasty to you for trying to be kind and supportive".

Nobody.

You posted a "kind and supportive" comment, and somebody else posted a 100% non-agressive, non-critical reply telling you that he was already home.

The problem was that then you decided to go off on one, being sarky and hostile with your "And you felt the need to tell me this because ?".

An attitude you then doubled down on, to the point that one of your replies had to be deleted.

And it's that behaviour which has attracted all the criticism.

Lyraloo · 25/03/2025 16:37

Createausernam · 25/03/2025 15:24

Nobody was "being nasty to you for trying to be kind and supportive".

Nobody.

You posted a "kind and supportive" comment, and somebody else posted a 100% non-agressive, non-critical reply telling you that he was already home.

The problem was that then you decided to go off on one, being sarky and hostile with your "And you felt the need to tell me this because ?".

An attitude you then doubled down on, to the point that one of your replies had to be deleted.

And it's that behaviour which has attracted all the criticism.

Show quote history

Whatever, great user name, just what I was thinking you were! Not sure what any of this had to do with you! Goodbye

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