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AIBU?

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Original poster

To report my son as missing?

459 replies

stucky · 18/03/2025 21:23

Wondering when to start panicking? DS 22, hasn't been home since Friday day time. He usually lets me know what's going on. It's not unusual for him to spend time at a friends for a day or two, however I've messaged his closest friends, no one's seen him since Friday. His phone been dead since Saturday morning. I know he's not a child, but he's my son and I'm concerned about his wellbeing. Should I report him as a missing person? Or am I overreacting? I just don't know what to do.

Please be kind, I am currently feel very fragile.

OP posts:
LittleCharlotte · 19/03/2025 21:43

Thank heavens he's home safe. Thank you for updating us.

LittleCharlotte · 19/03/2025 21:44

Miloarmadillo2 · 19/03/2025 15:59

Three, plus an older man, in the last month or so (one of them had been missing several months) plus still a big campaign locally from the family of Jack O’Sullivan who vanished a year ago. Nothing has been said by the police about any of them beyond announcing a body was found in the search for… so it may be a very sad coincidence, but at least one of them phoned 999 before disappearing.

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Which one?

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 19/03/2025 21:50

Phew. Glad all is well.

You sound lovely btw. Hope he’s soon feeling better in himself.x

Nikki75 · 19/03/2025 22:21

So glad he is home safe x

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/03/2025 22:47

Glad to hear back safely.

hippo100285 · 19/03/2025 22:48

As someone who had a lot of freedom as a teen and no guidance or protection, you are an amazing mother. Give the freedom but always keep one eye open and look after your child, 22 is no age and they still need someone looking out for them x

Ariana12 · 19/03/2025 23:22

Hi. Just to send a virtual hug and hope that all turns out well. Can you also start working out who last saw him and where he was?

Laurmolonlabe · 19/03/2025 23:25

I would report him missing- better safe than sorry, the sooner the police start looking for him the better.

ScattyKitty · 19/03/2025 23:30

Please report it. Now if possible. Has he used WhatsApp or Messenger or any social media since Friday? Ask his friends to check. I really hope he contacts you very soon, you must be so worried.

loropianalover · 19/03/2025 23:36

@Laurmolonlabe @ScattyKitty read the OP posts.

MsDitsy · 20/03/2025 01:15

Been in your headspace many times, it's traumatic. My panic happened several times when my son was travelling for a year. You did good to be restrained whileweighingip what was best to do and I'm glad your son is safe. Please ignore the negative entities that lurk in here. Hope you get your equilibrium back soon 🤗

Mayana1 · 20/03/2025 03:01

But it is not the fact that you are not respecting his privacy. You still don't know for guranted he's fine, he still didn't call and you didn't checked at his friend's place if he really is there. So you actually still don't know he is ok.

Mayana1 · 20/03/2025 05:26

stucky · 19/03/2025 08:25

No I know, something isn't right and he's unhappy. He isn't a coke head, he went through a phase a couple of years ago when he first started to work in kitchens but it was a phase (as far as I know).

He is a 22 year old boy, when he's out I don't necessarily know what he does or where he goes. I hope that he's always honest with me and hope he knows I will always help him irrespective of what he's done. We are pretty close and recently he's been really great, helping around the house and the difficulties I had been having with him have subsided.

I think if something nefarious had/has happened that someone would make contact with me. That's what happened when he got jumped last year. I can only hope. The bank and his work won't share any information with me. Guessing due to GDPR and the data protection act, I only know because I messaged his colleague and best friend.

Show quote history

You know what, I don't care if he is 22, to me that would be my son and not knowing if he is actually alright, I would've dig every stone to find him and definitely call the police. The fact how still you are, surprises me.

Miloarmadillo2 · 20/03/2025 05:43

Thank goodness he is home.

endofthelinefinally · 20/03/2025 06:30

Thank goodness he is home OP. I read this thread with trepidation but didn't dare post.
I hope you and your son get the help and support you need. Nothing is more important.

Alimid · 20/03/2025 07:26

Sending lots of positive thoughts . Have been thinking about you and your son and hoping all is well. ❤️

Missj25 · 20/03/2025 07:36

Glad you have your son home xx

TicklishBeaker · 20/03/2025 08:36

stucky · 18/03/2025 21:23

Wondering when to start panicking? DS 22, hasn't been home since Friday day time. He usually lets me know what's going on. It's not unusual for him to spend time at a friends for a day or two, however I've messaged his closest friends, no one's seen him since Friday. His phone been dead since Saturday morning. I know he's not a child, but he's my son and I'm concerned about his wellbeing. Should I report him as a missing person? Or am I overreacting? I just don't know what to do.

Please be kind, I am currently feel very fragile.

I would be panicking long before now. Report him. Hope all turns out well.

Grandame · 20/03/2025 09:24

How are you Stucky have you had any news?

purpleme12 · 20/03/2025 09:40

She's already said

CakeFace1234 · 20/03/2025 10:33

So glad and relieved for you that he is home. I have only just read your update but thought about you and your son all day yesterday. Hope you can both work through whatever is troubling him. Wishing you both all the very best. ❤

XWKD · 20/03/2025 10:37

I'm so pleased for you OP. I find it very sad how some posters here are being bitchy. You sound like a lovely mum.

BlondiePortz · 20/03/2025 10:38

XWKD · 20/03/2025 10:37

I'm so pleased for you OP. I find it very sad how some posters here are being bitchy. You sound like a lovely mum.

You don't know the son's side

Minniemeandothers · 20/03/2025 11:19

I was relieved to read that your son is back home and safe, although not in a good mental state. I can't imagine how worried you must have felt, I hope you can now start breathing again.
I understand that your son is suffering and that events of the past may have left some deep wounds. I also read that you are respectful of your children's space. I know how difficult it can be to draw the boundary between being supportive and not too intrusive. Perhaps what we may risk when we fear intruding is that we inadvertently create a distance between us and our loved ones. Sometimes talking and being with painful feelings and memories is so heartbreaking that we naturally wish to deflect and move away from it all. As I read your posts I thought about the pain and trauma you must have all shared and how best you can heal together. He has asked for therapeutic support and that implicitly means his family's support too. I wish you all the very best.

B1indEye · 20/03/2025 11:35

Bbq1 · 19/03/2025 19:30

Agreed. It would be on the news surely? How could a mother have "peace of mind", happily posting on MN whilst her ds has been missing for days and not turned up for work?

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Where do you live that there is so little actual news that this would ever be reported?

Hint for the future , at least read the OPs posts

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