To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

I have long hair at 46. There is one ‘friend’ who says it’s too long. But I love it and it’s still my natural colour so I’m hanging on to it as long as possible. Then I will dye it for a while, then I will have it all silvery grey. At no point , ever, do I plan to cut it short.

I'm in my 60's. My hair is shoulder length.

My ds has asked me to never have my hair cut short and doesn't understand why older women do this.
My dh always loves my longer hair but weirdly my ds comment made more of an impact.

I remember Vanessa Feltz writing about this very thing, people were telling her she should cut her long blonde hair short because it apparently isn't age appropriate to have long hair at her age. I believe her general demeanour over the issue was Fuck You, which I would endorse. We can do whatever the hell we like with our own hair, it's not harming anyone else!

I can't really grow my hair, and wish I could. It drops out when the hairs get too old which is about shoulder length, it looks straggly and unpleasant in my view. Embrace your luxurious barnet, I bet it's lovely.

What on earth is an ‘age appropriate length’?

I’m in my 40s and have had alopecia since my teens. In the event that my hair ever grew back (it won’t) I would grow it right out Rapunzel style and fuck anyone who expressed a negative opinion on it.

I have a 60 something friend with the most beautiful blonde hair just past shoulder length. It’s so thick she has to get it thinned out and still complains about it being too thick. Why on earth should she (or anyone) cut their hair to suit some narrow-minded busybody?? Luckily for her, she gets nothing but compliments galore. You’ve obviously just been unlucky and should try not to give this headspace.

Hair is hair. You’re not obliged to cut it all off once you reach a certain age any more than you’d be obliged to cut off an arm or a leg.

What's her hair like? I'm going to guess and say it's either thin, ratty or otherwise meh. She's envious of your hair. That's a "her" issue, not yours. Hold your head high and ignore.

You sound fab, and a lot more fun than Mimsy Miss Hair Police! 😄

It really is an old-fashioned view - my DM has been on at me to get a pixie cut since I hit puberty. Some women love to keep other women small, cut down and contained...

But I love my nearly-60 year old Lady Mane! It makes me feel lush! And sooo much easier to keep than a short cut...

Keep on rocking that hair, Queen! 👸

Ha, knew it, @MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot 😂

I love the Dutch people I know, but I learnt never to let their blunt crap weigh with me. It’s a small price to pay for an otherwise great country.

Ignore ignore ignore.

probably jealousy. Take it as a compliment and enjoy your holiday!

Forget culture that's just bloody rude. No need for that. Some people will insult then if there's a pushback claim they're just straight talkers. I've always wondered how they'd react to someone quick witted enough to come right back at them with a real belter of an insult. Unfortunately I never have been able to in these situations.

just keep your distance from the old cow

I regularly spend time in a place where it's apparently the rule that all women over 55 have to have their hair cut short in a kind of unflattering pixie helmet. I will NOT run the risk, ever, of getting my hair cut when I'm there in case the same thing happens to me. No matter how badly I need a cut, I will always wait until I get somewhere else to do it.

What?? I'm 55 and have long hair. I will not be cutting it short at 60. That's ageing imo.

I think you were probably looking quite good and something tipped her into push you down mode. I’m over 50 and have thick long hair and on the rare occasions I wear it down it gets a lot of positive attention. The short hair for older women thing is just weird imo. Swish away.

I lived in the Netherlands for years. I had total strangers cross the road to tell me I was short - and fat. Thanks. I’ve noticed.
Congrats on getting to goal weight. I’m almost there myself!

I'm late 40's, my hair is almost long enough to sit on, and my natural colour. I love it. It makes me feel rebellious 🤣 and I enjoy the sensuality of long hair, the feeling of brushing it, the touch of it on my arms. I was never allowed long hair as a child and was made to have an awful bob with fringe which stuck up and frizzed all over the place (and then I got told off for looking scruffy 🙄). So about 15 years ago I decided I was going to see how long I could grow it. Haven't been to a hairdresser in years and don't miss that either.

Anyone banging on about age appropriate hair can get in the bin. There is no such thing.

Your friend should be embarrassed, not you. The reason little old ladies have hair like the late Queen Elizabeth 2nd is because this was the beauty standard when they were at their physical prime. I recognise my hair reflects my prime, the 1990s. Same reason why so many middle-aged ladies have a “Karen” (hate that ageist, sexist term) Bob.

I love that you love your hair. Keep on loving it and keep on loving yourself. You deserve to have hair you love rather than hair someone else has decided you should have because they’re out of step with the times and have a fixed mindset.

This 100%.

Funny that people could guess it was someone Dutch. I would have guessed English as I got the same remark from my English neighbour. It was extra insensitive as he knew I was about to get chemo treatments for my cancer and might lose my hair ( and I did).

Your body your choice. We meet so many judgemental people in our lives, don't we? Their problem not yours x

I don’t think so. If, as a subsequent poster has suggested, she’s Dutch, it’s not down to some individual jealousy or unpleasantness, it’s culturally fairly normal to share your negative opinion of someone’s appearance.

Please don’t listen to her. I remember being mystified by my grandmother’s generation who seemed to hit a certain age (not very old) and started wearing beige and got sensible hair cuts. It was almost as if they were worried they might be judged if they wore something nice. I was very relieved that my mother’s generation didn’t do this.

Oh what a shame she shook your confidence.

I wonder what on earth made her think that it was in her gift to impart "age appropriate style advice" to you, particularly given that you are from different cultures.

All you can do now is laugh it off - what a terribly outdated view of "appropriate" style she has. Before she said this, would she have been someone whose style you envied?

This is bringing back echoes of my gran telling my mum she should get a short perm and blue rinse when she hit 50, instead of having her hair shoulder length 😂

Ignore her, OP.

You would have be reasonable to strangle her with your long hair.
No matter how old I get I will wear what I want and do my hair how I want. Haters gonna hate 😬

There are some judgemental twats about, these people have something miserable and bitter inside them for them to want to bring people down a peg.
Just remember that.
Look how the fuck your want in this short life!