To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

Don’t let her bring you down, it’s an opinion from someone you barely know and will probably never see again. Part of getting older is letting go of what others think, so let it go and stick with your lovely hair!

I think of these things as heart scars, you can’t protect yourself against the barbs because they come from nowhere. If you can tell yourself that it’s painful today and it will be a little less painful tomorrow until eventually it will fade to a tiny white scar that you can only see in a certain light then today can be easier to bear.

Can't remember what film it is but Jessica Tandy has to be in her 80's at least and has beautiful long white hair in it. Might be Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe. (Fantastic film if you haven't seen it)

No doubt if you put a pic up here there'd be posters telling you it's too long.

I'm in my 60s & have straight hair.

Atm it's to my shoulders.

It'll get to whatever length it gets to before I decide I want a change & chop a bit off again.

Have the hair you want.

Life's too short not to!

If you've got it, flaunt it! I'm 60 and my shoulder length hair has really thinned since menopause. If I had lovely thick hair I'd absolutely be making the most of it. And WELL DONE for such an amazing weight loss!😁

I will not , I repeat not cut my long hair.
I couldnt give two hoots about societal norms or someone else’s opinion
Op, you said that you have had a glow up and you probably feel much more confident .
Unfortunately , there will be those who will deliberately try to upset you when they see that you have made changes to improve your life
Please ignore her

That's incredibly rude of her.

Oh, OP.

As a fellow survivor a Bad Bob Incident (2018), I salute you.

I’m 45 but my hair will never be above bra length again. If I live to 90, I will fight to keep my long (dyed brown) hair.

I think it’s only something us bad bob survivors can relate to.

Well she can fuckety fuck off @MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot dont let a stranger ruin anything. Maybe she is jealous of your hair!

Get yourself out there and don’t let her issues dampen your shine!

She’s out of date, that’s all. It used to be fashionable to say the older the woman the shorter the hair but the fact is that some women look better with longer style and some influencers etc recognise that now. I’m older than you and bet my hair is longer!

OP, my mother had been telling me that I was too old for my hair since I turned 21 - when it was dyed black and waist length.

I ignored her then and I'd ignore her now.

I did spend a fortune about 10 years ago, having the colour stripped and following the hairdressers advice went for a really nice shade of red but the upkeep was demanding! I also had it cut into a really nice bob that I loved.

But, here I am at 50 with bra strap length black hair again. When I've gone fully grey, I'll have it all cut off and grow my lovely silvery hair but until then, I dgaf what anyone else's opinion of my hair is 🤷🏻‍♀️

Who is she or anyone else to determine what an 'appropriate' hair length is? It's a very outdated view that women over 40 should have short hair!

If you like it and it makes you feel good that's all that counts.

she was forthright
does she have a point?
otherwise, ignore her opinion

Dying to hear more about the big bad Bob incident. But yes, I have a special soft spot for older women with long hair

I also voted YABU but only because its unreasonable to give so much weight to a strangers opinion 😉

The only person who needs to like your hair is you. I’m 56 with a glorious head of brunette locks down to my bra strap and if someone told me to chop it I’d assume they were jealous.

You’ve done so well but I do understand why you might feel vulnerable to those kind of comments but I also imagine your confidence will be increasing all the time. Work on that and join the ranks of women who no longer care what others think. Equip yourself with some stock phrases like @BeaAndBen ‘s or similarly “Well that’s an opinion.” Said with a straight face before completely changing the subject. And well done 👏

A friend’s, in the process of becoming ex-husband made a similar comment about her gorgeous long hair. It was designed purely to hurt and humiliate her.
She still has gorgeous long hair and he is long gone.
I bet your hair is beautiful.
I would put good money on it that your travelling companion has a secret longing to be Rapunzel, but has never managed it.
Like many PP Im very jealous too, I would love to have long hair. I’m 56 and it seems to get halfway down my back and refuse to go further.

Ignore. In my 20's some work colleague in her 50's said about me 'we'll give her until she's 30 to cut her hair'. It was jealousy. And I still have long hair in my 40's.

Tell her you’ve spoken to Demi Moore, Nicole Kidman and Julia Roberts and they’ve all said your hair is fine.
But her attitude is NOT.
We all get one life. One.
I am mid 50s and just lost a good friend. All I can think of is all the small stuff in life which we worry about which we shouldn’t.
Your hair, your choice.
This woman has no manners. And needs to get with the times. Whet does she want you to do? Turn into one of the Golden Girls?!

Where was she from OP? I have known Scandis to be very ‘direct’ (as they like to call it), ditto the Dutch. From experience it’s not much use telling them it comes across as plain rude in the U.K. They seem to think it’s a laudable national trait.

IMO you’ve just got to treat it as any other form of plain bad manners and ignore. Easy for me to say, though, I know.

I'm 65. For the first time in my life my hair has been cooperative and grown. My hairdresser fully supports my long hair and never suggests big trims. It's always clean, in good condition, easy to tie back if I need to. At my age, am old enough to make my own decisions. Maybe she was jealous, definitely old fashioned....please keep your long hair. Lynsey De Paul once said, if she ever thinks about cutting her hair, she takes an aspirin and has a lie down. This is mine after a visit at the hairdresser. I stopped dying it years ago so am totally grey to boot although the warm light in the salon makes it look blonde I love my long hair!

Do you know the best thing about long hair? You can swish it! Flick your hair as often as you can and you’ll know why it’s just better.

I got a “mum” Bob like a good little woman when my first was still on the boob. Never again.

Long hair on an older woman? Like Jane Seymour you mean? Someone ought to tell her she is too old for her glorious hair I guess.

One of my good friends is 75 and she has hair down to her waist which is always beautifully smooth. She looks great and frankly you would never know she was 75. early 60s at most. I am 25 years younger and was going to get a bob but decided instead to just get the ends trimmed and to crack on.

What a load of regressive garbage. Correct response: “You seem to have mistaken me for someone with 1950s social mores.”

Then ignore.

What a colossal twat.

Ignore.