To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

OP, you are not, not, not too old for your hair! What you are too old for is letting negative comments from someone who just 'has to tell you something' get under your skin. Her comment is saying a lot more about her murky subconscious jealousy than it is about your hair. File the incident along with the Bad Bad Bob of October 23 under weird stuff that happened I can giggle about now.

I'd have said, thsnks for the comment but I don't remember asking!

Where I am from originally it seems every second older woman has the same super short pixie cut. In fact I just googled 'Australian older woman haircut' and pixies were among the first thing that came up. It simply does not suit everyone IMO but it's so ubiquitous that DH commented on it last time we were there 'Everyone has the same haircut'.

I wish I knew what really suited me tbh but whatever that is, I doubt it's short.

True, but I tend to be more understanding with younger women being vulgar as when you're getting older you sort of figure out this is not the way to go.

Austrian or Dutch by any chance?
DH has Austrian rellies and they seem to believe that tact and kindness should never get in the way of an opinion
Ignore it OP, if you are happy with your hair then thats all that matters, the last time someone offered me an unsolicited opinion I told them that I hadn't asked

After being in different cultures and seeing how they greet each other with “you’re fat!” “You’re too dark!” then I had to adjust to how forthright they are.. didn’t like that part

What a rude bitch. But, having said that, I find most foreigners rude - they somehow think that commenting on appearance is OK, as if people are horses, dogs, etc. Through work I interacted with many foreign cultures, the Russians and East Europeans in general are the worst, but then the French and the Germans are not too far behind them. If it happens in the future, I found that saying 'in this country/or in a civilised society one simply does not say that' - it sends them up the wall, usually - this will nip any unwanted advice about clothes/kids behaviour/appearance in the bud. No point being polite with rude swines.

Just ignore it-it’s an opinion. Don’t sit in your room moping because of an opinion. Accept she’s like that because it’s in her culture to voice opinions and she might have fixed views on how others should look. Don’t let stuff like that ruin your life!

I'm from a more forthright culture, and I would consider that rude.

Cheeky bi**h

Its an old fashioned view that when a women hits a certain age they should cut their hair short.
Ignore her it’s not personal.

Rather be alone than have friends like that. You need a complete overhaul of your friend/family group (because I’ll bet this isn’t the only nasty narcy shite around you)

Watch your self esteem rocket when you do

My hair is too frizzy to be short. Mine will be long forever. Who is going to come and tell me about it, the hair police???

I bet your hair is gorgeous, OP - stay strong and don't be swayed by the comments of a random!

Why someon's hair should bother anyone else enough for them to comment, I just can't think....with the exception of one awful style which I hope has now gone for ever. It's where young women tied their long hair in an excruciatingly tight ponytail and then had 2 horrible, long, grease-gelled strands hanging down at each side, or even over their face. It made me queasy just to look at it - but I would never have said anything. Totally their business!

I am currently suffering with the tatty after effects of a very bad bob 😞

What did you do to recover your hair?

Also can anyone please tell me what a ‘glow up’ is and where to get one?

I used to have people around me like that.

I now know them as narcs, very jealous little demons who pretend to be your friends/family. I also used to have weight.

Listen to this advice and surround yourself by only people who feed your soul

Ignore.

She is likely envious of how good you look!

Well done for losing weight and deciding to treat yourself with a holiday.

I lived in Holland and she was just rude.
The older I get the more I applaud the the firm harsh comeback to rudeness.

"Dont be so fxxking rude"
"Who asked you your fxxking opinion? No one!"

I am polite and fortunately haven't really experienced it but I have witness it a few times and whilst at the time I was shocked, now I look back on the sharp fxxk you come back, and believe it really is the way to go.

Rude people need putting in their places.

In all cases they have looked shocked, aghast, taken a back by the harsh comeback.

I bet it gave them pause the next time.
I think it is the way to go.

Someone so rude is not someone to pay attention to.
Well done on all you have achieved and do not allow this to derail your holiday.

She also picked your hair to go at because you are pleased with it. It’s not an accident. Next will be whatever else you’re proud of yourself for

Watch these type of people, even better, cut them off and forget they exist

Well done on making changes to your life, but ignore this stupid woman and enjoy your lovely hair! I still remember my Dad telling me on my 30th birthday that at my age, I should cut my hair and get a nice perm like my mum. 😆. Needless to say I ignored him and still have near waist length hair now I’m 67. Some people have odd ideas about how you should look and dress when you get older, but you know when you feel comfortable. My long hair is part of me, and I can’t imagine it being any different but long, wavy, and loose. I’m just as happy with it now that it’s mostly grey as I was when I was in my 20s.

That’s her subjective opinion.

She could be wrong
She could have different tastes to you
She can have a different opinion to you
She could be subject to different peer pressures and fashion trends to you

She’s allowed a different opinion to you.

But It’s your hair so your own opinion is the only one that counts.

So shrug and acknowledge that everyone is different and enjoy your holiday.

I'm 57, and had the super short man cut of disaster September 23. It's now past my shoulders and it is going to grow LONG (it was long before the stupid haircut).
I also got my nose pierced at 55. Because I wanted to.
Live your own best life :) I'm never having short hair again!!!
And mine is grey!

Oh FFS, what a cow. Ignore her and enjoy your lovely hair. I have no intention of adopting an ageing haircut style.

Some people think 'older' women shouldn't have longer hair - it's a very old fashioned view but it persists. Think of grandmas in the 80s - they all had the same short, permed hair which was considered 'respectable' (and to be fair is a good option for thinning hair).

My mum doesn't really like it when I grow my hair past my shoulders, and I'm in my 40s. I think the only time it was acceptable was when I was in my 20s (I also wasn't allowed long hair as a child).

Anyway. Do what you want. If you like your hair and it's in good condition, have it as long as you want.

Posting to see OP’s lovely hair. I’’m going to be you @MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot I’m 51 and growing my hair from shoulder length to a bit longer at the moment. My hair is wavy/curly and any experiments with short hair in my teenage years were complete disasters and still would be. At the weekend a random teenage girl in a shopping centre complimented me about my hair and it was so lovely to get a compliment on it for once, even from a stranger. I saw a woman on the street last week with long straight grey hair and it was beautiful. I’ve seen a LOT of older ladies with short hair which really doesn’t suit them so I’m not making that mistake! Well done on your glow-up and ignore that miserable b*tch!