To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

Doesnt sound like forthright culture to me, juat rude. Totally understandable that you are hurt but this says more about her than you. She seems to be stuck on an old fashioned idea what people should be allowed to do at certain age. It is quite sad that she can't do what she wants.

This with bells on.

What a cow.

You should’ve replied and told her that at her age, you think she should consider being less of a prick. And frankly you don’t care what some rando you met on holiday thinks of your hair. Turned on your heals and left her to it.
You don’t owe her anything, and frankly people need to question whether putting down someone else’s appearance is really going to benefit the other person.

I saw a women in the supermarket yesterday, with long grey hair. She looked so amazing I almost said something to her. She looked better than any of the 20 something’s there. Ignore the stupid person, she was probably jealous.

Pay her no heed, I bet you've got great hair. Plan a fun trip / interesting day, and forget all about it.

I used to work with a fair number of Dutch people and I can still hear "I just had to tell you <...>". They usually had a point but we (Brits) didn't necessarily want to hear it😂

Ignore her, it’s no longer grey mushrooms once you hit 40

I'd gotten (MN sucks teeth at this but it it a legitimate word, honestly) to a goal weight, and felt like it needed a significant change to correspond to the moment. So hairdresser had this face 😬 while doing it.

And 2 days later she had this face 😂while stripping the colour back to soft brown. And promising never to let me have it cut without 48 hours thinking space again!

I'm 60 and my hair is now shoulder length. This is the longest it's been since I was a teen as I had it cut short and never had the patience to grow it again. Is it the best style for me? Most probably not. Do I give a fuck what others think? Not any more. Life's too short. If you like having longer hair.....then have it. If you fancy having a crop and dying it rainbow colours....then do it. It's no-one else's business what you wear or how you style yourself.

Context is everything, if it was out of the blue whilst talking about things irrelevant to appearance it would be weird and inappropriate, whereas if you were talking about appearances, getting older etc then it might be more appropriate to say I think you would look better with shorter hair. Either way you can simply ignore as it’s a personal thing, I have below shoulder hair and I’m older, i also don’t dye mine!

Why do you care what others, especially randoms on holiday, think? Pay it no heed, their opnion is irrelevant.

Just face-timed one of my DDs and she's comforted me in her usual sweary fashion. I've told her how kind you have all been. And is encouraging me to show the MN Hype Gals the mane for a boost. And reminding me that my Dear Late Mom would have told me to yank my socks up and not let the naysayers win!

I'm just trying to find a non-identifying one. 😬

What's an age appropriate length

Ignore and continue being a happy little age inappropriate rebel haha enjoy your break.

Curious if the woman was Dutch by any chance?? I am and aclassic hairstyle for Dutch women over let’s say 50 is short. It’s actually something we refer to (in a sort of running gag) as “kort-pittig” (literal translation “short&spicy”) but while some ladies pull this off fantastically it is definitely not a glow up for everyone and it (imo) often makes them less feminine combined with the rest of their style. But that’s just my opinion I wouldn’t force that on anyone.

So if that was the case definitely don’t follow her advice. And if not; stick to your own taste whatever it is. Owning your style is everything.

Ah, she’s clearly a member of the age-appropriate-hair-militia, operating undercover, sent to dictate suitable hair lengths to unwary older women. Us older women with our long hair. It’s a slippery slope. Next thing you know you’ll be daring to be seen in public wearing pink or looking happy in your own skin. I mean, how dare you!!

Alternatively, she’s a stranger, her opinion means absolutely nothing.

Honestly I’d just shrug and forget about it!

It was as we were heading off in our own directions sort of like a dictatorial Post Script.

I’m also rising 60, unrepentantly long-haired and share your past Bad Bob trauma. I imagined it would be chic and professional but instead had to walk around looking like Jimmy Savile for quite some time. So I’ll be having inappropriately ‘young’ hair to my grave, thanks.

When you’re already feeling vulnerable it’s difficult to let go of remarks that hurt you and dent your confidence - but it’s one person’s stupid opinion. You can’t please all of the people all of the time, and nor should you be trying to. If you changed direction with every sentiment that came your way you’d end up going round in circles with no real sense of yourself.

You love your long hair. It suits you. So chuck her and her opinion in the fuckit bucket. Hold your head up, go out and enjoy your holiday.

Congrats on your glow up, OP, we all think you look lovely 💐

My mum told me long hair over thirty is disgusting, as is getting pregnant over 28 and being bigger than size 8. I'm 55 my hair is bra band length, I never did have children and I'm a size 14. And we speak 4 times a year. Your new companion can fuck off. Be yourself. You're fabulous

I’ve always hated it when people trot out that “rule” about not having long hair after x age. Ignore her OP. Enjoy your trip and your lovely hair

Ignore.

Do not wallow in self pity. Use your holiday time for better things.

Fashion is fickle.
Your friend has a difference of opinion on hair lengths.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You behold yourself. If you like your image as it is, be happy in that.

You could say to friend. I am sad that you think I should have short hair because I really love having long hair. Please don't tell me to cut it again.
She might say - Sorry, it was a flippant remark. What do you think I should do with my hair?

Don't make one comment a big thing.

I’m 45 with bright purple hair,I don’t care what people think!

My mum holds these views and I think it's just very old fashioned. She usually says it about people she's intimidated by, e.g. my mil and the way she dresses but mil has a banging social life, loads of friends, is really confident and living her best life. She usually gets loads of compliments on how she looks.
I bet everyone else loves your hair and she's either jealous cuz she wouldn't do it or her culture is more conservative with stricter social norms. Her opinion is actually wrong. Just look around you, I know loads of "older" people with long hair in fact I don't think people do the whole chop your hair off thing much any more.
I think you should be as confident as you can and enjoy yourself. You totally deserve it

So rude! What does she think is going to happen by saying that, you’re immediately going to go and chop your hair off on her say so? Keep your hair long and proud!

Old fashioned thinking makes her look older.

Some people think that you shouldn’t have long hair as you age, it’s nonsense. Find a style that suits you and love it.

I have a friend who frowns on long hair after a certain age, she had hers cut into a pixie cut, hated it to the point of not being able to talk about it and tears. Batshit

Fashions change by the day. A lot of people in their 30s have gone for the chop and a conservative dress sense atm but we’re all just doing our own thing. Sod what anyone thinks because anything goes.