To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

1. She's wrong
2. Even if she wasn't wrong, then standards of appearance vary massively across different cultures. So she'd still only be right if you were from her country.
3. Even if she wasn't wrong and standards of appearance didn't vary massively across different cultures, then she'd still be a dickhead for mentioning it and you're (presumably) not, so you still come out winning.

Rude and thoughtless. It's great you love your hair OP. Good for you. Honestly some people are unbelievable xx

If your hair is well-cut by your excellent hairdresser and in good condition, you wear it how you like it! The only hairstyles I am not keen on are those which haven't changed since the wearer was 17 - and even then, a professional haircut, and some good conditioner would sort them out. 🙂

If you were asked to go shopping and pick an outfit for 10 friends you wouldnt pick what they all wanted as you'd pick what YOU think they'd look good in. All of us have differing views. You just typed: I fricking love my hair... thats all the opinion needed... if you asked a cross section of people some would like it, some wouldn't... doesnt matter... its not their hair. Laugh at the cultural differences that makes them feel they can say it (rude to you) and move on.
Also... definitely say Fuck it and live your life ❤️

It's literally just 'her' opinion.

Think about someone famous - think about Kate Middleton (or someone you think is very stylish/beautiful) - stick 100 people in a room and ask for their opinion and you'll get some who think she's gorgeous, some who think she's ugly, some who says amazing body, some who will say too thin, some who will say dresses too old fashioned, some who will say super trendy. Old people will call her youthful. Young people will call her old. You literally cannot please everyone. For every single persons opinion comes a life time of influences and experiences that are entirely unique to them.

That's why the only opinion that matters on these things is your own.

Oh dear she was suggesting what my mum and I refer to as a “man hair cut” we’ve never understood ladies of a certain age lobbing all their hair off. My mums well into her 60’s and hers is past shoulder length. It’s your crown whatever your age, and this goes for any age too that so long as it’s well kept no split ends and looked after it will look amazing I’m sure! Own it 😉

She is a fuckwit and you should respond in kind. Tell her in your culture commenting on other people’s appearances (unless a compliment) is not acceptable. YABU for not doing so.

YANBU for having your hair however you want.

I would be upset too. My Mum is nearly 70 and rocking waist length grey hair. There is no such thing as an age appropriate length!

I'm delighted to know your Beloved Mum is rocking her waist length hair
Completely Concur With You, There's no such thing's age appropriate hair
Long lovely luxurious hair looks feminine & fantastic no matter someone's age
Everyone's unique & has the right to choose whichever style they wish
Thank you for your righteous enlightenments

She's not a very nice person, spend time with people that are positive and make you feel good. She shouldn't care what you look like.

I'm mid 60s with below shoulder length white/silver hair, and I bloody well love it. I bet yours looks fab too. We rock sister!

I personally deteste long hair on old woman (although as with everything I admit there are always exceptions to the rule), however, I would never tell a person as it is their choice.

Honestly ignore it. Their opinion is of no concern of yours, my lovely. I know easier said than done, though.

Your post reminded me of the time I was in Turkey 6 years ago on holiday, and some cheeky sod asked me how far along I was!

I wasn't with child, I was with an all inclusive food baby!

I brushed the comment off. So should you. ☺️

@MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot your fellow traveller sounds like my mum, except she was English.

DSis and me go through phases where our hair is a bob or longer. Apparently it was because we both wanted to emulate Kate Middleton. Not the case but no reasoning with mum.

Mum also said “older” women ought to have short hair or when someone sees your wondrous locks only for you to turn around revealing a haggard and wrinkly face, it’s a massive disappointment. 🤦‍♀️

DSis and I both have shoulder length hair, sometimes longer because that’s what we like. We didn’t mind that it annoyed her. My hair colour was another bone of contention. Usually a change was accompanied by “where did you get that wig?”

Do it for how it makes you feel. Not for anyone else.

Just read your updates. I can only repeat what others have already said - you do you and forget that rude woman. I notice how she said it as a parting shot so you didn't have time to think about it and come back with a suitable response later! That was very cowardly and passive aggressive of her which I think speaks volumes. Anyway, f**k her, it’s Nigel we want to hear about now!

Some people have some very deluded ideas about how someone else should look. I once had a colleague who was obsessed with my hair. She spent ages telling me I should dye it ("you'd look SOOOOO much younger!") and cut it short because for some reason long hair with grey bits is just awful. Once she realised she was getting nowhere with me l, she started contacting my friends at work and asking them to tell me to get my hair sorted out, and fell out with them and me when my friends told her to shut up. Ten years on I still have long hair and loads more grey, and she probably would be horrified (we don't work together any more thankfully.)

That's just her personal view expressed in her forthright manner. She clearly does not understand that her plain speaking can offend. Absolutely ignore it.

It does depend on the person, but long grey hair on any women over 55 doesn't look right. (IMO.)

The length in pic 1 is OK. Suits the lady, even though she is 55+.

Pic 2, not so much....

.

What about Kippeneukers
you racist lot having a go at the Dutch people. At least they have guts and tell people the truth and are not two faced like many brits. I’m half Dutch a Dutch mother and find your comments rather unwelcome.

I’m approaching 60 and have hair passed my waist. Fuck that shit.

Well I think the pulled back style in photo no 2 looks atrocious on any woman of any age. But I think even that looks better than short hair. I actually much prefer my hair now it’s grey; I’ve never considered dying it and am happy to age gracefully.

YANBU Your friend was rude. You did not ask her about your hair. However, I think she likes you and was saying something she thought was helpful. If you want your hair long, wear your hair long. It's your hair. That said, I am older than you, by not quite a decade, and older women who have long hair and who have always had long hair tend to not get it cut. It's part of their identity and is comforting to them. This is absolutely their prerogative. As you settle into a body shape that's newer to you, later on you may want to consider a different hair style, but you don't have to cut your hair to do this, just go try on wigs. As we age, hair thins along with losing color. Even a long hair wig might be a lot of fun for you. Go try on something new for the new you just to see how cute you look no matter what length hair you wear.

This! ☝️
You have your hair how YOU want it!
Especially if you love it.

How dare someone else try to tell you what to do.
People have stuck their noses into my life (all different things including my business!) for years. So infuriating!!

Have a fabulous holiday, we all deserve a little pampering & self-love! 💐

I honestly just can't understand why a) anyone cares about how someone else chooses to look, and b) why looking old is a bad thing. It genuinely baffles me.

I can relate as had a ‘bad bob’ longer ago than I care to remember, grew it straight back out and decided bobs don’t suit me.

After about 7 years of going to my current hairdresser though she suggested it and I now wished I’d tried a bob again years ago.

You sound fabulous OP, ignore her and this temporary blip and continue enjoying your glow up!