To be upset that fellow holiday goer told me I'm too old for my hair?

[MoneyPieceNotMoneyShot]

I'm rising 60 and have been obese all my life, have just got it under control, gone on a glow up and have decided to Fuuckit and I've headed off on my holiday of a lifetime.

I've spent most of today with another solo traveller and quite enjoyed her company, but am fully aware she's from a more forthright culture than me. (A close friend from home is also this nationality so I'm fully aware of this conversational style).

As we parted company she said that she felt she had to tell me that at my age I should be considering getting my hair cut to a more age appropriate length.

I fricking love my hair, my hairdresser has been with me through literal thick and thin, and had particularly encouraged me nurturing my length after The Bad Bad Bob Incident of October 23.

Low self confidence and self esteem through being morbidly obese for 30 years doesn't lend itself to resilience, so I'm now in my room trying to distract myself and win the day back to no avail.

Aibu to be upset or am I a soft numpty?

I remember when I turned 25(!!!) a man in my office told me to cut my waist length (swishy gorgeous pre-children) hair off because I was too old for it! He was bald too 🙈 so yeah he knew a lot about hair…
People are stupid and think their opinion actually counts for something, ignore her or actually do a Glinda from Wicked, “Toss, toss,” and ignore her! Enjoy your travels :)

Knew she would be Dutch. Didn't have to read too far before you confirmed it.

Lovely to see all the support you've received already and I'm a bit late to the party.

I'm about to hit my late 50s. Ten years ago, I lopped my hair off to a short bob as I always thought old ladies shouldn't have long hair. I did wonder how I'd do a good granny bun in my old age, bit remembered a lady I my childhood church who clung to her ratty thinning long hair..I didn't want to be like her.

Theshort hair was awful. It looked okay but wasn't me. I stopped drinking alcohol about the same time and suddenly learnt to stop giving one single flying f*ck what anyone else thought.

My hair is nowhalf way down my back, healthy and I love how it looks. It even allows me to put it in a bun for my granddaughter I love it and don't care what anyone else thinks.

I've also realised that lady in my church had just as much right to keep her hair the way she liked it and I took more notice of others opinions ( mainly my mother) than I should have.

And good on you for getting out there and travelling.

Well, how TF old is she? Surely old enough to know how not to be a rude busybody, one would hope.

You glow girl!

Says a 60 y.o. with [alleged]waist length, bottle job hair.

Ignore. There are no hairstyles that are age appropriate! My 65 year old neighbour has long long blonde hair. When she was 44 she had cancer and lost her hair for a long long time. When it grow back she vowed to never care again what anyone thought of her hair. How closed minded to think that way and plain rude to voice it.

Oh god, ignore her! Some places are still sadly hung up on the idea that women have to lop all their hair off around the menopause. Thankfully the UK is moving away from this frankly stupid idea. Everyone should have the haircut that makes them happy, regardless of age.

I saw the most gorgeous elderly woman with long, flowing, silvery grey hair a couple of weeks ago and I'm still in awe. If my hair looks that good at her age hell will freeze before I cut it off.

If you can grow it, you're not too old for it. You do you.

Her cultural norm is elder women wear short hair. Fine for her. Where she was rude rather than just blunt was in judging your hair by her cultural standard.

Hair can be everything from cultural and artistic expression to ritualistic to being connected to spirituality.

"I love my hair as it is. How I wear it is none of your business my dear. When I want you opinion, I will ask for it!"

Be as 'forthright' as her.

Absolute fucking cheek. Who does she think she is?! 😆

Ignore ignore ignore you have your hair however you want to it’s not her hair she has no business telling you how you should look. I shave my hair off because it’s terrible and so thin I prefer wearing wigs I can be any colour any length I know my mum wants me to grow my hair back but I don’t want to it’s my hair it’s on my head it’s my decision. Your hair your head your decision.

100%

I'm 70 with long hair in its original colour too 😉.

I’m intrigued to know which forthright culture she is from? Whatever ! Your hair your choice, be as forthright as her!

Why do people feel that they can mention stuff about you ? I get it all the time as I’m tall. Rude

Dutch. They are very straightforward and expect it in return. For a Dutch person this interaction would go 'I think your hair is long for someone your age' response 'I like it this length'. Conversation then moves on. It takes a bit of getting used to but once you do it's refreshing not be wondering what they mean and trying to second guess. Uk interaction might go ' do you find it difficult looking after that long hair' and you are left wondering if the are saying they like it or don't like it.

I’m guessing you have long hair……..

Your opinion is no different to the OPs ‘friends’ opinion, just about a different thing

Is she an absolute style doyenne that you aspire to please? Or just a bit trad and tactless.

The WORST thing you can do to age yourself is to cut your hair off. I don't know why people 'expect' people to hit 40 and adopt instant granny style, its so weird.

The expectation that a woman 'your age' should instantly have short hair though just proves that its a hair style expected for the 'older lady' and thus aging so stay long and forever youthful.

Some people can and do pull off shorter hair and manage to look youthful, like my friend in her mid 40s that has an edgy pixie cut and the perfect face for it but she has rocked that the full 20 years I've known her.

I know I would look bloody awful with my dumbo ears sticking out of a short cut though and I too have had an awful experience of bobs. I plan on rocking the longest hair I can until it physically fall out of my head or I cease to exist.

Still waiting! 😁

You look younger now you have lost weight and she appears to be jealous and doesn't want you to look younger than her.

I think there is a huge difference to state one's opinion on a forum than telling somebody irl what you think about their hair/clothes etc the latter being rude and hurtful.

I am 53 now and still wear my hair long. It just doesn't suit me short, not even in a bob style. Ignore her, OP. I bet your hair is gorgeous.

I have asked my hairdresser for her opinion and she said that long hair is great at any age as long as it's in good condition and suits the person. I agree with this.

I have an older cousin and an older friend who have hinted that I should get my hair cut short. (I'm nearly 65.)

I actually discussed it with my hairdresser, who was horrified.

I just turn a deaf ear to it now.

Sometimes a bit of feedback can do wonders.

Hope I won't get flamed but I think there may be a chance she was motivated by envy, rather than being 'helpful and honest'.

I went to see a new hairstylist a couple of years ago and as we chatted she was telling me that she had recently had a lot of her hair cut off as she didn't think long hair was appropriate at her age (around 60 I think) then she kept saying how awful long grey hair was on women. (I'm much younger and don't have grey hair so not sure why she went on about it!) I never went back as I didn't want a hairstylist with silly rigid ideas. What suits each individual depends on lots of factors. Long thick silver hair is usually stunning on older ladies if taken good care of.