He wants to meet without children

[UniqueTraybake]

I'm part of a single parent what's app group and we live in a big city

One guy has recently joined and has attended a social. He's got his child 50:50.

It was the weekend and he messaged the group asking if anyone wanted to meet, he didn't have his child and he's the only single man in our group. We are mostly donor children.

What do you think, aibu in thinking that's weird?

He has a penis! He must be a creep to be the only man in OPs single mums only allowed group.

Leaving it open and forward planning are good things in this scenario, surely? He knows everyone is juggling parenting, and he knows that most parents can’t just drop everything or will probably have plans made well in advance or would need to plan childcare. He’s therefore giving everyone that time, and making invitations non-committal so that it’s not too pressurised and anyone who happens to be at a loose end can just say “sure, why not?”

If camping isn’t your thing or you think that’s too forward, that’s fine. Others may really like camping but not have other friends who are into camping, so it could seem like a nice opportunity. Plenty of people book to go on “singles holidays” with people they don’t know at the outset, because they’re looking to know people by the end.

Jesus Christ the poor bloke. Just trying to make new friends with people in the same boat as him and he's being slaughtered on an online forum for being "weird".

And if he is talking about going camping in the summer holidays with a bunch of adults and kids then yes, it does need booking well in advance. Nothing weird about it. It's what most people do.

CAMPING?! Oh you should have said. Everyone knows that people that like going camping are total perverts.

Eh? You can’t imagine going somewhere without your child? Are you serious?

What is a donor mum?

Like a normal mum but enjoys a donor kebab from time to time?

He left the invitation open, not his flies 🙄

He may as well have done. Pervert.

He seems to want a night out without kids - nothing weird stands out.🤷‍♀️

Child conceived through use of donor sperm. Usually excluding a male partner, so a single mum by choice though not necessarily as accurate may also be used in the context.
Can't say I've seen the term for donor egg conception but the process would also apply.

Thanks for that Sperm donut thread flashback. 😂

I have a male friend who split up from his cheating wife when their children were still quite young. Had them officially 50:50 but actually more and he found it so hard and lonely because he was always met with suspicion just for going to "parent groups" which were female dominated.

Some of them just want to parent and make friends.

what ever?

I’m guessing someone who had a child using donor sperm but I like the idea of making a friend to eat kebabs with.

He asked if anyone was free to do something, he was clear he didn’t have his child, it’s hardly odd to believe some other parents might be child free too. You don’t have to like everyone but it’s okay to try and make friends too.

I'd probably hold off on the garlic mayo.

He’ll use his penis as a mallet, they all do

I wouldn't be spending my free time with a single mum and her kid

Do the other group members know you feel this way about them?

I think I understand now why you find this new member weird. He’s someone who wants to make new friends with people who are happy to socialise in a kid free environment but who also like to do things with the DC, like camping trips. You see them as a group to use for entertainment because your friends don’t want to spend all of their free time with your child. You find it difficult to understand why someone would spend time with anyone in the group if they didn’t have to.

Again, I’m pretty sure his invites will dry up after a couple more conversations with you.

This thread is wild.

My favourite part is about the guy having his kids 50:50….so has them all the time.

But yeah, I have to say, OP, give the guy a break. Nobody is forcing you to meet him, but I can’t really see that he’s done anything wrong.

I'd be surprised if she isn't booted from the group after giving such identifying information on Mumsnet of all places.

Seriously? Or am I thicker than I thought?

To clarify:

A new man has joined a single parents group. He's been along to at least one social so people have met him.

He shared a post saying he was child free and did anyone want to meet up.

He's also shared a few summer dates and suggested a group camping trip.

He has his children 50/50 which you think means he has them all the time? Whereas I think half the time.

You think he was weird because he didn't ask if anyone wanted to meet for "adult time". Which would have had me running away thinking he was a sex person, so I'm glad he didn't do that.

Is that correct?

He just sounds like a newly single dad trying to get used to his new situation and broaden his friendship group to me.

Thank you!

Shish now