MIL called me the wrong name…

[ThatTwinklyPearlSloth]

MIL really dislikes a family member (Sarah)

Whenever Sarah has been mentioned she’s been described as snobby, stuck up, miserable, awkward, always moaning about something and obsessed with money. I’ve only met her once so I can’t really comment on what she’s like but I never hear DP’s family say anything positive.

At a family meal a few months ago, MIL said to me “would you like another glass of wine Sarah?” Sarah wasn’t even at the meal so understandably I was a bit taken aback and hurt. Anyway, I brushed it off and didn’t say anything to DP. I did ask him a few days later if I was anything like Sarah he laughed and said of course you’re bloody not.

Anyway, she did it again last night after moaning about Sarah again. “Would you like some Prosecco Sarah?” I’ve got quite a lot going on at the moment and I could’ve burst into tears. I held it together until we got home but ended up crying to DP thinking MIL must hate me. He was understanding but says she really likes me and it must’ve been just a genuine mistake.

AIBU?

YANBU - you obviously remind MIL of Sarah in some way.

YABU - sounds like an honest mistake.

It's her not you. Probably her age.
One time my mother called me by all 5 of her sisters names in succession, then by her own name! 😆 I retorted that's your name you daft cow! 😆

I call people by the wrong name all the time, it’s a family joke, lots of people do this as they get older

My mam used to call me at least five other names before she got to mine. She would also call my brothers girlfriends their exes names. It used to annoy me no end but as I'm getting older I find I mix up names all the time especially when I'm in a group. I think it's an honest mistake.

I'm always getting my sils' names mixed and they are polar opposites - and my youngest knows to answer to any of her siblings' names! Quite a few people at work call me someone else's name and the only thing we have in common is we are English. She is taller, younger, blonde, slim and full-time and I am short, dark, overweight and part time. It's just a name!

Don't take it personally! I do it ALL the time. It just means that I've been thinking about the other person and the name comes out of my mouth. I call my DH by the cat's name and he really isn't all that much like her.

We all do it! There's a significant context though in the example of the OP's MIL - she's only calling her by the name of one person, and it's a person the MIL routinely speaks about with extreme venom.
When I mix names up, it's generally people who share similarities - I get my daughter and niece's names mixed up (they look alike, and I love them both to pieces!).

Well my BIL keeps calling me by my DH’s ex wife’s name. They divorced 22 years ago and she was not liked by his side of the family. I just think he’s a bit of an idiot he can’t keep our names straight.

Mountain meet mole hill.

My great grandmother used to call another of her great grandaughters 'Stephanie' and as I didn't see her often (she was a lot younger than me) I thought that was her name. Turned out her name is Joanne!

Is your name similar sounding or starts with the same letter?

I mix up my brother and son’s name - names are not similar and they’re nothing alike! No idea why I do, but sometimes that just happens

My own mum would regularly call me by my SIL's name, like lots are saying don't read too much into it, you are overthinking...

But, as the suffragettes said, its Deeds Not Words that matter.

Apart from getting name wrong, is she otherwise pleasant enough to you?

I call the kids the dog’s name sometimes. I don’t actually believe they’re dogs!

I have 3 sons, I often call them by the wrong name, I’ve done it all their lives so don’t think it’s really age related. My biggest fear at the moment is calling a current GF by the ex GF’s name! I am constantly reminding myself!

Well mine isn't dementia, but i frequently call my DC by the pets names!

When my sister and I were children, our dad would often work his way through both our names and our mother's name before hitting on the right one. He was not mad and not being aggressive, it was just that they all began with the same sound - think Gina, Joan and Jemima.

She was talking about Sarah so she said Sarah by accident.

Call her Margot, or Budgie, or something.

I get names wrong all the time it's an honest mistake. It's not because someone reminds me of someone else, sometimes I call men by women's names. It's not deliberate
My mother was the same she would run through all the names before she got to the right one.

Honestly - if she is pissed off with this Sarah it will be playing on her mind and the name will have slipped in by mistake.

I did something similar once I called my brother's wife his ex wives name! I was mortified she was lovely about it.

Sounds like my mil.. spends her life slagging off my husbands ex wife (who in my opinion is lovely, we’ve always got on well) yet I can almost guarantee that at one point she will call me by her name. I just laugh it off, I don’t think it’s done to cause offence.

My dm has done this forever i don't think it's dementia

My son broke up with his girlfriend last year, and now has a new one, I have to really think not to say DS and Anna (fake name) and say DS and Becky l.

I do make the effort, and am mortified when I get it wrong.

Please don't take this to heart. My grandmother used to run through the name of 8 granddaughters before she hit on the right one. It is a sign that people are aging and perhaps Sarah really irritates her and her filter is not working very well. It is her not you.