Anyone watched the Gabby Petito documentary

[Worriedsickmostofthetime]

So disclaimer first… I have only watched the first episode. Not worried about spoilers because obviously we all know how the story ends. The story is told from the perspective of people in Gabbys life, her friends and her family.

Whilst it is evident given what happened that Brian is guilty of what he did. Did anyone notice how often Gabby clicked her tongue or rolled her eyes at him in annoyance.

This in nutshell 👌

OP - it was a given you would receive abuse for this thread. Anything connected with highlighting any type of negative aspect to an abused woman (more so, obviously, a murdered one) is a red rag to many people, especially other women. The domestic abuse issues associated with Caroline Flack is a different example which I won’t go into.

I wanted to say I’m glad you mentioned this as I thought exactly the same thing - they included this footage but never referenced it again. I think they said they were arguing/bickering. When the police arrived she admitted to hitting him but it isn’t clear exactly what happened - if she hit him first or he attacked her - it was a while ago since I watched so I can’t remember exactly.

It’s an utter tragedy bc she seemed a very happy, full-of-life person, but they touched on emotional problems she had and unfortunately she ended up with an individual who didn’t want to protect her and help her shine, but wanted to absorb her into his own family and keep her for himself. He seems jealous of her friendships and probably the close relationship she had with her own family which is probably why he moved to be with his, banking on the fact she’d follow and be cut off from hers.

Going back to the footage, it was just a snippet but it revealed that at that time she didn’t appear fearful of him to the extent she felt she had to hide her feelings of annoyance, bc she snapped at him and made a negative comment about him editing or something to do with the camera work I think. She probably wouldn’t have done this, especially on camera, if she was scared of him, and we don’t know how often she did this, how often he did it to her. There’s no way of knowing now.

It seems like he may have flipped when she told him she wanted to leave him, and bc they were in a really small, concentrated bubble of just the two of them on the road, mostly cut off from the rest of civilisation, emotions and actions are amplified and sadly it all came to a head when they were in this bubble where reality probably seemed to be far away and he couldn’t walk to a friends or the shops to clear his head. They were trapped together in the middle of nowhere virtually. So sad.

BEFORE he murdered her, they were both as bad as each other.
I used the past tense.

I would say the same, even if she murdered him.

It was a heartbreaking watch really for everyone involved. Gabbie appeared to me as desperately lonely, when she reached out for help it was to her ex boyfriend which I found to be strange, why not rose or her family.

The boyfriend clearly didn’t want the relationship but at the same time didn’t want to let her go. If I can’t have her then no one can type of controlling which was slowly escalating until the murder.

The laundries side I would find truly fascinating. I wonder how many others when faced with their son telling them what he had done would have done the same. One of the worst possible situations to be faced with as a parent, choosing between what’s morally and legally right and your child.

Were they as bad as each other? Was she also slapping him around and controlling every aspect of his life?

The vast majority of men plan the murder of their partner, they very rarely snap.

I find this a ridiculous comparision bc she was never going to murder him.

Or maybe it's because she was in a controlling, abusive relationship and couldn't see her way out

Not all victims are perfect. Victims can be flawed and also make mistakes - it doesn’t excuse the poor treatment of them or erase the abuse.

Wow, I literally agree with every single word of this. All my exact thoughts.

I despair. I hope you don’t have children, you are so off message, it’s terrifying.

Yes, this!!

Hopefully you’ll never experience this but when you lose a loved one, hope you can cope with the world’s opinion on them deciding their fate was deserved by dint of their personality.

One of the main interviewees was a friend of his

Don’t waste your breath OP. People on MN do not understand nuance. You can say until you’re blue in the face that you aren’t excusing the murdering scum bags behaviour and STILL people will say “oh, so you’re excusing this murdering scum bag’s behaviour?”

A man hitting a woman is more dangerous than vice versa, and didn't she die my strangulation? Is that typically a female act?

There is not one person here who knows whether gabby hit Brian first or the other way around. And I strongly suggest that if any of the mothers of sons on here found out that there sons were being hit they wouldn’t be so quick to defend the girlfriend. The recommendation would be to get the hell out of the relationship! That is all I am saying

Its not what you are saying though. You seem to be suggesting a girlfriend rolling her eyes at poor behaviour is somehow to blame for her being murdered.
A mother telling a son to get out of a toxic relationship is nothing at all like him murdering her, or covering it up.
What the hell is this thread.

It seems that more and more Mumsnet is being infiltrated by men with an agenda - and that agenda is female hatred.

@Chocolatecustardcreamsrule I agree the family element fascinated me too and I think they are to blame to some extent for their sons death. Whether he murdered her in cold blood or it was accidental we don't know, but we do know that he caused her death through violence and would be charged with murder or manslaughter. I suspect he reached out to them and instead of supporting him they covered it up, obviously I don't know but his apparent remorse and suicide suggests he suffered with guilt and it was too great a burden. If he had reported her asap he would have gotten prison time and maybe had a manslaughter sentence with some chance to redeem himself as an older man. The mental torture they all put the victims family and friends through was unforgivable.

The irony of people attacking the OP and telling her to crawl back under the mouldy rock she came from whilst frothing at the mouth to tell her to BE KIND is not lost on me.

So she provoked him into killing her?

@Dontlletmedownbruce Whether he murdered her in cold blood or it was accidental we don't know

Well we do know because you don’t accidentally strangle someone.

Also what remorse? He left a letter that lied about her death, almost all the details were proven incorrect including the method of her death and the timing.

Yes I agree. Shutting down any debate by claiming 'victim blaming' doesn't help anyone, least of all the victims of coercive control. There is indeed a profile of a victim of this type of abuse as much as there is a profile of the abuser. It's in everyone's interests to consider what that types of people they are or what signs are giveaways. The goes for both sides, so someone who is being controlled can see whats happening and leave asap or someone who sees controlling behaviours in themselves can seek professional help before they become abusers.

@Hoplolly @Dontlletmedownbruce
i wish that I had your eloquency.
Thank you.
I never seem to learn my lesson on MN.
Excuse me while disappear again under the rock I came from for even questioning that she came across as less than perfect whilst also knowing full well that no one deserves to die at the hands of another human.