Anyone watched the Gabby Petito documentary

[Worriedsickmostofthetime]

So disclaimer first… I have only watched the first episode. Not worried about spoilers because obviously we all know how the story ends. The story is told from the perspective of people in Gabbys life, her friends and her family.

Whilst it is evident given what happened that Brian is guilty of what he did. Did anyone notice how often Gabby clicked her tongue or rolled her eyes at him in annoyance.

And how weird that his parents found his body! Strange indeed.

I can’t believe that is the point you want to make OP???
It very much reads as though you think this poor young woman contributed to her own death.
What the fuck is wrong with society and the victim blaming?!
I watched the whole awful thing and my take aways were that he is a piece of scum, as are his family, and the police involved are morons.

God no!
It is a terrible terrible tragedy! He deserves everyone’s hate!

This sounds very victim blamey. He was abusive before murdering her. Calling her disgusting for working at Taco bell with lowlifes. She had a job, he was to good and lazy to work an entry level job but criticized her for supporting them. This is just one example, but it was classic coercive control.

I hate to say it but I thought she was so fake and obsessed with how she was perceived as a person and them as a couple. Who knows what went on but she was determined to stay with him and tolerate whatever was going on. Maybe because she loved him but also because her vlog and fake image wouldn't be the same without him.

But surely it was violent resistance in her part?

Absolutely not. I have no personal agenda here except to acknowledge the pure complexity of young relationships and how else we can teach both our sons and daughters about healthy relationships.

There is not one person here who knows whether gabby hit Brian first or the other way around. And I strongly suggest that if any of the mothers of sons on here found out that there sons were being hit they wouldn’t be so quick to defend the girlfriend. The recommendation would be to get the hell out of the relationship! That is all I am saying.

I have a teenage daughter and if I could see the red flags of a bad relationship I would do what I can to help her.

How do you or anyone know that???

Thats exactly my point. The story is told from her family and friends view point but when I watched it I noted her attitude wasn’t that of a sweet little girl and that there was definitely more to her.

nobody deserves to die at the hands of anybody and it’s no excuse. But it doesn’t hurt anybody to reflect.

Not allowed to speak ill of the dead of course, and there is ZERO justification for what he did but she came across as somebody who would have been infuriating to be around. As bad as each other, until he obviously did the worst thing.

I've watched it all. I think the fact she wasn't 'perfect' and was seen rolling her eyes at him is irrelevant. No one is perfect, everyone gets annoyed with their partner from time to time. They clearly both irritated each other and there were issues between them, with both seemingly being physically abusive.

I think the police who stopped them were naive or maybe ignorant in just taking her word for it that she was the aggressor. She might have been in that case, but there again he might have started it and she was covering for him. But she made it clear she didn't want a fuss and obviously took the van and picked him up from the hotel that same day, when she could have driven off and gone home.

His parents were definitely weird in the extreme. Almost as if they'd rather have a dead son than one in gaol. Whereas hers seemed a lot more normal.

It's a very tragic story but I'm not sure anyone could have said anything to her to make her realise it wasn't a healthy relationship. It was all exacerbated by them being alone together for so long.

Top tip: whenever anyone says anything like "I'm not defending him, but....." then follows with <reason why she might have pissed him off>

Any reasonable person would infer that you are defending him, so probably anything said afterwards is written off as the utter victim blaming twaddle it likely is.

Shame she wasn't perfect; obviously she'd still be alive if she was.

Top tip… the real reason people say things like that is because often this is not a very safe space to express an adverse or different opinion or thought on matter. Being anything less than ‘perfect’ on MN gets you beaten up online. How ironic.

Indeed, the poor guy having to suffer a tongue being clicked at him and her forcing him to be videoed, no wonder he just snapped, the poor lamb.

What, the real reason people "yes but...." coyly defend murderers is because MN provides a safe space to do so?

I mean yes, you're probably right tbh. I can't imagine most people being brave enough to say that out loud.

Anyway, crack on 😊

Ah someone once told me on here to expect the worst from MN on a Sunday. Welcome.

Yes 100% classic coercive control.
The reason the police were called and pulled the van over was because people witnessed him smacking her around and called the police.

She assumed the blame for it as he will have conditioned her into believing that it is her unreasonable behaviour which forces him to respond that way and creates those situations. That she will get him into trouble for doing the only thing he can to get her to calm down and people won't understand. It will be 'i'll get arrested because of you and you know what people think of men that hit their girlfriends but none of it will be my fault. Your crazy behaviour will ruin my life and turn everyone against me and I'll have done nothing but try and care for you'.

So despite the marks on her and the witness report saying he was hitting her she takes the blame as the aggressor and the police accept it. They should have, at the very least, put her in the hotel and not left her to sleep alone in a less than secure van.

My goodness, there's a lot of victim blaming on this thread. So she rolled her eyes at him... so bloody what.
And no, she didn't keep him on board just for the vlog, she said that she would get more interest as a girl in a van on her own.

To me, he came across as unpleasant, and yes he started hitting her first with the police incident and he was very adept at manipulating the police into thinking he was the victim.

His parents were disgusting. Imagine not knowing where your daughter was and the parents of the partner of your daughter refusing to speak.

That is very true tbf, as evidenced by the thinly veiled "he shouldn't have killed her, but...." defending of this person.

I have made a mental note though to ensure I never roll my eyes at DP again, click my tongue, or be generally annoying just in case I get strangled by him.

They were absolutely correct.

Picture the scene: someone watches a docu series about a young woman who is murdered by her boyfriend on a road trip. Boyfriend then hides the body, comes home to his stonewalling parents who immediately lawyer up in an attempt to defeat justice, causing further anguish to the victim’s family.

Murderer’s mother writes “burn after reading” letters to her son, telling him how she’d help him conceal a body. Eventually murderer goes missing, kills himself and is eaten by a crocodile. His ghastly parents then quickly locate what was left of him in a remote location, something law enforcement was unable to do.

1 episode in, person watching this whole clusterfuck unfold decides the REALLY compelling aspect of this story is that the victim rolled her eyes at her soon-to-be murderer and thinks starting a thread about it on a website predominantly aimed at women and mothers would be a good idea.

You know that it's okay to think someone was problematic or flawed. It doesn't mean she deserved to be murdered, nobody is saying that. But dying doesn't make you suddenly a saint. And it is okay to talk about her character without it meaning you are victim blaming.

How do all you people know whether he hit her first?

I have not at all victim blamed here. I’ve simply stated the tragedy of a young relationship between two apparently complicated individuals. Her parents should have done something! Nobody here can say any different unless you knew her personally. The story is told by her family and friends.

Thank you.

it is ok to just look objectively at a situation especially when it has nothing to do with you and there is no way for you to have an definitive answer on something

I have stated before that what he did was not right or justified. What a tragedy!

Stop trying to downplay male violence OP and all the other menz apologists on this thread. We see you you melts.

It's very common in domestic abuse cases and it's interesting to see it here. Women are flawed and can react is different ways to abuse. There's something called 'reactive abuse' where she can be abusive herself.

It's often the case where a woman is acting 'hysterically' when the police show up and the perpetrator is very calm and 'rational'. Of course she may have suffered years of abuse and terror at this stage but because she's not acting in an acceptable manner, she's often let down by law enforcement.