Shall I just get up and go out?

[wherethewildrosesgrow]

Tomorrow is a big birthday for me, normally we don’t celebrate that much, couple of token gifts, breakfast in bed, a takeaway.
Last year I got a last minute gift voucher, with the promise of ‘next year will be really special’.
I’m going to surprise you.
Its been talked about by DP a lot, right up til Christmas, how he’s going to get me something special, we’ll go somewhere really nice, etc.
I’ve mentioned loads of semi local places that I might like to visit for the day, restaurants that look nice, things I’ve always wanted, but never bought (not that expensive).
He said he was making notes for my birthday.
Yesterday we were out shopping, and DP mentioned that he was still to organise ‘stuff’ for my birthday.
He asked me if I’d like anything in particular, would I like to get my hair/nails done, or go anywhere special!
Nothings planned is it?
Ive got no gifts.

The likelihood of one of the restaurants/pubs I might like to try having a table available, is zero.
Ditto to any hairdressers.
I bet he won’t even make me a brew!
We’ve been together nearly four years, I had the worst year last year, with terminal illness in the family, and I’ve just finalised terrible divorce, which took nearly six years.
I hope I don’t sound like a spoilt Princess, because I’m really not.
Ive barely been able to afford to feed myself for the last few years, due to legal bills, my haircuts normally just a few quid from a family member.
Ive only had my nails done twice in my life, and the gifts/days out I’ve mentioned would total less that £100 each, yes he does have the funds, he’s told me he’s set them aside, and more besides.
But to plan NOTHING?
AIBU, to just say Fuck it, get up and go out for the day on my own, to one of the places I want to go.

@wherethewildrosesgrowplease tell us how your day went? Hoping you made it great for yourself (though you shouldn’t have to)

Have you read any of this thread?

Well staying overnight
each to their own
does he have kids op?

Shitty boyfriend
throwing out promises
failing to deliver

And yet what you're doing is judging OP for taking a week of annual leave in term time when she has kids and for having a man living in her house when that's not the case.

Be kind or be quiet.

Hope youre ok and did something nice. I would throw this one back hes useless

OFGS....the usual cries of Dump him, he hates you, always come up when someone posts about a thoughtless DP.
She has said she is happy in the relationship, why should she dump him?

OK, he has been incredibly thoughtless, sometimes people are, is it enough to end an otherwise happy relationship? No.

Just make sure he suffers for a while... and I really hope OP had a lovely day in spite of him, x

Happy 50th!!!!!

I hate it when people make false promises, you look forwards to something, and then feel like a fool that you were so emotionally invested when they don't follow through, and clearly didn't care about it as much as you did. Very very disappointing, and enraging.

I was 50 last year and following the example of one of my oldest friends, I decided to have a year of celebrating my birthday. I had a small family celebration on the day then later in the week, I went on a boat trip down the river spotting birds and seals. It wasn't something I would ever usually do, but I loved it. I didn't get the promotion I was hoping for at work, so weekends abroad weren't really on the cards, but I still managed to do lots of fun things.

You have a whole year to do wonderful things. Maybe with your partner, maybe without. Maybe he's crap at birthdays but generally okay, maybe this is a sign of general crapiness. Whatever it is, you can still have a great birthday year. xxx

When people show you who they are believe them. You’re worth more. Start afresh . Sending hugs

Congratulations on your promotion to Moderator.

Well he certainly didn’t make her day any better. A lot worse in fact.

Isn’t that what it comes down to?

Happy 50th birthday 🎉 Did he not come through at all? My oh is useless at stuff like this. Hope you enjoyed your day.

Oh was it me you were asking about blocking earlier? Or are you just stalking me because you have a need to attack people?

Yes Ma'am.

I hope you've had a lovely day.
Happy birthday 🎈

Glad you're happy to admit your stalker status.

Interesting that you wanted to block me for disagreeing with you over the course of two or three posts though. Do you not enjoy debate? Forums may not be for you.

What's he like normally? I find it hard to believe that a nice guy would behave like this. He's made so many false promises - is this something he does?

I wouldn't pay for a meal for him tonight - no way. He could come along if he was going to pay for you too, but if you are going to have to pay for yourself then better to do it without having to look at him.

Has he moved into your place?

Yes Ma'am.

He was a thoughtless twit, I understand that she is very upset, who wouldn't be?
Is a man being a thoughtless twit on one occasion, when he is otherwise a good partner, reason to think he hates her, reason to dump him?

I don't think so, but then, I don't live in mumsnet fantasy land.

I read your post yesterday @wherethewildrosesgrow and I've come back to see if you have had a lovely day? I was really hoping to find an update saying your DH had done the oh so funny (not) pretending he'd arranged nothing and actually had given you the best birthday of your life but its not looking like that's the case? I'm so sorry, it's one thing to just make no effort but to make no effort after weeks/months of telling you they were going to make a huge effort is really shitty and I wouldn't hesitate to let him know how much this has hurt you.
Happy birthday OP I hope you've managed to smile and enjoy parts of your day at least and that you are currently enjoying a lovely meal with your DC and have a great time with your sister tomorrow x

I hope you had a fabulous day! If it makes you feel any better, I was staying at my partner's place for the week of my birthday (we don't live together) He doesn't bother with birthdays so I wasn't expecting anything but he didn't even mention it on the day - not even when I told him my friend had just phoned to wish me happy birthday. Worse than that, after we'd got into bed that night, he suddenly remembered he'd forgotten to put the bins out - and suggested that I could do it!

Happy birthday op, hope the pottery painting was fun and that you have a lovely meal with the kids tonight 🙂

@wherethewildrosesgrow HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP! 🍾 I hope you enjoyed your pottery class earlier, you have a lovely evening dining at a nice restaurant (with or without "D"P) and that you have a great day with your sister tomorrow.
You're quite correct, of course, people will ask you what you did for your 50th and you can tell them about all the promises your DP made and how he did nothing (assuming this has turned out to be the case). In fact, assuming your relationship continues, you should bring up your 50th to people in your DP's presence at every opportunity (e.g. "Oh, it was my 50th last week/month/year") which will prompt them to ask if you did anything special - and then you can regale them with your DP's carelessness yet again - I ruddy well would! 😡

Honestly women of the world plan your own birthday treats, presents and meals out. Rely on none.

But treat anyone else the same.

oh. And lower your expectations if you don’t want to be disappointed. Or even better no expectations.

No thanks.