To take away dd(13)s en-suite?

[thatsfunnybecause]

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite, 3 year old is at the moment in a tiny room that basically just fits a bed and wardrobe.

We want to combine dd’s en-suite and DH’s office to make decent size bedroom for 3 year old.

Up until dd(13) was 11 and we moved to a bigger house she always had to share with either younger brother or older step sister.

She thinks as she had to share until she was 11, that younger siblings should share until then or be lucky and get tiny room of their own. And that by the time toddler is that age she will move out and she can have her room.

Is it unreasonable to take away her en-suite?

Your 3yo doesn't need more room now though. Why disrupt things?

Oddly enough, she's not going to remain 3. By the time this work is done she might be four. My 5 year old granddaughter is an entirely different being from her 3 year old self, and loves playing in her bedroom.
A reasonably sized room for the younger one is far more important than an en-suite for a teen who has five other bathrooms to choose from

How old is your older DSD? Presumably the toddler could have her room when she moves out: when will that be? It feels like a lot to take the bathroom away from your DD when she's using it.

I know! I had 3 teenagers at one point and our entire family shared just one bathroom! They've gone on to be functioning adults, so I think it was fine 😄!

No, the 13 year old is both mine and DH’s, as is the 3 year old.

Nobody is saying she’s deprived or she needs it. That’s a total distortion of what people are actually saying.

Swap over.

3 year olds bedroom + office with access to the en-suite for the 13 year old. So a smaller room but with en-suite.

The 13 years old room blocked off from en-suite and given to the 3 yr old.

As a teen, I would have much rather a smaller room with en-suite.

No, people are saying she needs it. Someone upthread appeared to be horrified that she'd actually have to use the same bathroom as her brother!

For the love of your own sanity, and the peace of the household, let the 13 year old girl have her en suite. It will pay off again and again in family happiness.

Then, in 8 or 10 years when the current 13 year old is out in the world, paying way too much money for a cold room in a houseshare, let the current 3 year old have that room + ensuite.

The 3 year old has a room they do not currently use. And plenty of play space. And no sense of the injustice you feel on her behalf. I bet there's a garden. Build a nice Wendy house. Cheaper and way more fun.

Leave the teenager well alone.

No. The step child has the attic room and cloakroom. Stop looking for strife.

@Cathandkin it’s super weird to pick up on that and ignore the dozens of comments saying to have some empathy for her and consider finding a solution that isn’t ride roughshod over her because You Are The Adult. Just because she’s thirteen isn’t a reason to hurt her intentionally when there’s no need to.

Your first post said 'DD'
Then said 'step-daughter'

Says it all to me

OP, you haven’t answered questions asking for more information other than the daughter vs stepdaughter one.

There is a fourth child, yes? A younger brother? Why is his current room situation?
You’ve said the house has six bathrooms but described 5 - your in-suite, your DD’s in-suit, the downstairs family bath, the upstairs family bath, and the teen’s bath on the top floor. What’s the 6th?
Is there currently a guest room or suite?

It's not "super weird" (sic).

1. I never suggested that anyone intentionally hurt a 13 year old girl.
2. I haven't ridden "roughshod " over anyone.

I think you have either misread my posts or are confused, for some reason. Yes, I have an opinion. It is neither weird nor "super weird". I haven't denigrated anyone nor been personal. Please note that.

Dd(13) has bedroom with an ensuite,

Step sisters bedroom isn’t technically an ensuite but is in the top floor where their is also a bathroom (just toilet and sink)

Two different people, two different rooms.

And OP didn't say step daughter, she said step sister.

A raw deal because it seems like at least 2 siblings have en suites (or OP is prioritising guests over her DC and there is a guest room with en suite), there is at least one older sibling who will presumably be leaving home in a few years, solving the issue by the time the 3YO needs more space, the 3YO doesn’t need space for toys if there is a playroom. It seems like everyone else’s needs are being prioritised. Teenagers need privacy more than toddlers with playrooms need big bedrooms.

I could be wrong but OP has been very opaque about answering questions about rooms/DC or her reasoning. She doesn’t seem interested in exploring other options. It feels like she only posted for validation of her decision rather than advice. So, yes, I am guilty of inferring from that that her DD might be getting a raw deal…

I don’t think the idea of waiting for kids to move out is reliable. Even if they go to uni, they will still need a bedroom and very possibly will need to move home after and stay well into their 20s.

Yes, that's certainly been my experience. I have a 29 year old back at home now!

She will have her pick of 4 bathrooms. She's hardly deprived.

This, all day long.

I totally want to see a floor plan of this house too, I’m intrigued 🤣

Agree
Plus I think coming home to find you’ve lost your old bedroom would be upsetting…almost like youre not wanted or belong anymore

Nows the time to make the move
Get rid of the en-suite, you have loads of places to wash in the house
Its not like having an en-suite is a life necessity
You're the adult OP, it’s up to you to make the best decision for everyone in the house now and into the future.
No special privileges…..

@Cathandkin I do think it’s super weird. I’m entitled to think that. That’s not an offensive thing to say. Obviously you are not the one riding roughshod, that would be the OP when she goes ahead with what she clearly intends to do after pretending to solicit opinions online (something she is not actually that interested in doing since she shows 0 interest in engaging with discussion).

They come and go after 18/20 (at least my older ones do). They are not all at home at once in adulthood (hopefully!). And those not living here fulltime get smaller rooms.

None of that matters - you have no idea which will launch at 18 and which will stay rooted in the nest.

Right now, dd13 is happy, dd3 is happy and all children settled. Make a lovely space for 3yo somewhere that is not her room.

Reading this thread is like living in an alternative universe

How awful to 'take it away' (like its a morsel of food from a starving child's hand).

Particularly as she has had to share, horrific.

Needs her privacy, well yes thats what her bedroom, which she no longer shares, will give her.

A raw deal because it seems like at least 2 siblings have en suites (or OP is prioritising guests over her DC and there is a guest room with en suite)

Or the OP is describing two of the rooms with just a toilet and sink as bathrooms. The sixth bathroom might just be a separate loo/cloakroom - as per the room at the top of the house.